but i’m a cheerleader!
wk: 4.7 k
authors note: I promised oneshots, did i not? just fluff really, and pretend cheer flyers can b tall okay
warnings: none
synopsis: in which Paige is a flyer who has it all and wants none of it, and Azzi is a base who has none of it and wants it all
“We need to hit zero this weekend,” CD said, her voice leaving no room for mistake. “I don’t want us falling short. That means clean lines, perfect smiles, going full out. From the top, let’s go.”
Paige sighed and wiped the sweat from her brow, taking one last drink from her water bottle before tossing it on top of her bag. Everyone got into their places, waiting for the music to start before they started moving.
As soon as their competition music flooded the gym through the speakers, everyone began moving and doing what they were supposed to. Paige heard everyone clap in unison when they were supposed to, mentally clapping the team on the back.
When Paige moved into position for the first stunt, she was still hanging in there. A wide, picturesque smile was on her face, her posture perfect. Her bases launched her into the air, holding her there while she did her part of the routine. Then, one by one, the flyers flipped in the air and dropped into their bases arms.
When it was Paige’s turn, she held her breath. Something she knew she wasn’t supposed to do, but was a habit she couldn’t break anyways.
By the last stunt, Paige was hanging by a loose thread. Her abdomen was sore and her legs were achy. Her cheeks hurt from smiling too much and she was ready for a nap. Her base launched her into the air, and then she climbed the legs on two other flyers. This was the only part that made her nervous. She trusted her bases to hold her in the air and catch her if she fell. But the shaky arms of the two flyers made her feel like she would fall at any moment.
Thankfully, when the music ended and everyone hit their final pose, Paige was still suspended in the air and CD looked pleased.
“Good job ladies,” she yelled, making everyone dismantle their human pyramid. When Paige’s toes hit the mat, CD continued. “That was good. Great even, but not perfect. Go home and rest ladies. Practice tomorrow at 10. Captains, break us down.”
Paige, along with the two other captains, Nika and Aaliyah, stepped forward.
“Good work today guys,” Aaliyah said. “With more practice we’re gonna take first next month.”
“Bring it in guys,” Nika said. The team stepped forward, piling their hands in the middle. Paige internally cringed at the sweaty arms she felt, but said nothing.
“Huskies on three!”
Paige threw sweats over her spandex and tugged on a hoodie, exchanging her cheer shoes for Uggs. She made sure she had everything in her bag before zipping it up and turning to leave.
“Paige, hey,” Paige looked up at the sound of her name, her eyes meeting the figure of Azzi Fudd.
Azzi and Paige had been on the same All-Star cheer team since Paige was 7. Azzi was a year younger, always lingering. For any normal person, that would be enough to make them best friends.
And they were, for a little bit. As kids they thought they ruled the world. Always carpooling to practice and competitions, whispering to each other in the dark at sleepovers.
Around the time Paige started high school, she started drifting from Azzi. At first, the younger girl resisted. She reached out and never left Paige alone. But after many arguments and mean comments from both parties, Azzi gave up. Now, they were merely teammates that sometimes rode home together since they lived on the same street.
“Can you give me a ride home?” Paige nodded.
“I’ll be in the car.” Azzi nodded, turning away from the blonde without another word. Paige watched as Azzi greeted another teammate and engaged in what looked to be a colorful conversation. With a sigh, Paige pushed open the gym doors and braved the cold.
Starting the car, Paige let her thoughts run. If only she found as much joy in cheer as she used to. If only she found as much joy in it as Azzi Fudd.
When the door opened and Azzi climbed in, Paige connected her phone and played music to fill the silence. Paige pulled out of the parking lot and started the drive to Azzi’s house.
“Are you excited?” Azzi asked. Paige looked at her quizzically for a moment.
“What?”
“Are you excited?” Azzi repeated. “It’s your last formal competition. Well, before college.” Azzi shrugged at the end of her sentence, waiting for a reply.
“I…” Paige went to reply, but the words died in her throat.
She hated this part. She hated telling people that even though she was the most decorated athlete on her team that she wasn’t going to cheer in college. She had turned down and ignored every offer she received.
“What?” Azzi asked. “Have you not committed? Sorry, I haven’t been keeping up with all the senior things this season. I really need to be better at that.”
“No, it's fine. I just, I’m not cheering in college…”
Paige could feel the thick tension that filled the air. Paige had all the skill and talent any cheerleader could want, but she chose not to cheer in college? Azzi didn’t understand.
“You’re not?” Azzi scoffed. “That's…wow. I- nevermind.” Azzi sighed instead of finishing her sentence. But for reasons she hated herself for, Paige wanted to know what Azzi thought.
“No, go ahead.”
“No,” Azzi shook her head. “It’s stupid.” Azzi mumbled the last part, fumbling with the zipper on her jacket.
“I just told you I’m not cheering in college. Tell me.”
Azzi sighed and was quiet for a moment before she spoke up. “I just…I don’t get it. You’re team captain on the best cheer team in Minnesota, and one of the best teams in the country. You’ve got more awards and medals than I have pairs of socks, Paige. Everyone wants you. Girls on the team would kill to be in your position, you know that right?”
The emotion in Azzi’s voice wasn’t lost on the blonde. Azzi said girls would kill to be in her spot, but Paige knew the hidden meaning. I would kill to be in your spot.
“Anyone else on the team can be where I am if they work hard enough,” Paige said. “I’m not some walking miracle. I work hard.”
Azzi scoffed. “I’ve been working just as hard as you, and I’m nowhere near where you were this time last year.” Azzi regretted the honesty the moment the words left her mouth, but for some reason she didn’t regret. She wanted honesty from Paige, and she figured this would be the way to get it.
“You’re doing just fine, Az.” Paige said, the old nickname slipping out. Azzi ignored her, the words turning her blood cold.
“Thats the point, Paige. I’m doing fine. Not great, not amazing. I’m not in the running to be captain next year, which means I’m not in the running to be recruited by the best schools. All I’ve got are offers from unknown DII schools.”
“Hey,” Paige chided, a little bite in her voice. “Offers are still offers.”
“Not on this team! Offers matter, Paige.” Azzi let out a frustrated groan, throwing her head back against the head rest. “Fuck! I mean, look at the team. Serah is a way better base than I am, and Caroline is the best flyer on the team, behind you of course.”
“You’re plenty good, Azzi. Stop comparing yourself.”
“I’m not!” Azzi exclaimed.
“You are!” Paige yelled back, just as loud.
“I need you to see how fucking insane you are for turning down all the offers you got. You are so lucky and you’re just throwing it all away, for what?” Azzi cried. Paige let out a frustrated breath. She turned onto their street and parked in front of Azzi’s house.
“Because I don’t want to!” Paige exclaimed. “Shouldn’t that be enough?”
“Well it’s not, Paige!”
“Well it’s the truth!” Paige screamed, her eyes welling with tears. “Fuck, Azzi. You should know better than anyone that I only cheered for my mom. It was like she was living her dream through that.”
“You liked cheering as a kid?” Azzi said, confused. “You didn’t do it just for your mom.”
“Didn’t I?” Paige sighed and rubbed a hand down her face, whipping at her tears. “I wasn’t a dumb kid. After my parents divorce, I only saw my mom when I had anything related to cheer going on. She drove me to comps and practice and did my hair. Anything else, she was gone. My dad was the one cheering for me whenever I did anything else.
My mom only stuck around so long because of cheer. When she left, I questioned whether I really wanted to cheer anymore. But I was only 14, I just wanted my mom to love me. I figured if I continued cheering, she would keep in contact.”
“Did she?” Azzi asked, her voice soft. Paige let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head.
“For a bit. It was enough, for a while. But I didn’t find joy in cheering anymore, and clearly my mom didn’t either.”
“So why wait until now?”
“I’ve been cheering since I was four, Az,” Paige pointed out. “I don’t know how to live my life here without it.”
“So, what? You go to college somewhere else and quit cheering just like that?” Azzi asked.
“Yeah,” Paige croaked out. “I…what else am I supposed to do?”
They sat in silence for a moment, Azzi glancing at Paige’s tear streaked cheeks. Azzi sighed and grabbed her bag from the back seat, opening her door.
“Come inside.”
Paige glanced up, confused. “What?”
“Come inside.”
“Azzi I-”
“I’m not arguing Paige. Come inside. Have dinner, and then you can leave. I know your dad and brother are already asleep. Eating alone after this conversation would make me spiral, so…” Azzi awkwardly trailed off.
“Just dinner?” Paige asked. Azzi nodded her head. Paige sat in the driver's seat for a moment, rethinking her life choices, before she turned her car off and got out. Azzi smiled to herself, before turning and leading the way.
Inside, Azzi’s house was just as warm and lively as she remembered it. There was a pile of shoes by the door, showing how lived in the house was. The entry way was decorated in family pictures and hanging coats. Azzi slipped her shoes off, and Paige did the same before following Azzi into the living room.
“I’m home!” Azzi yelled.
“Hey! I’m right here.” Azzi looked sheepishly at her dad, whom she was standing right behind. Azzi reached down and kissed the side of his head.
“Sorry Dad. Where’s mom?”
“In the kitchen. She’s making spaghetti. Go get washed up, okay?” Tim Fudd waved his daughter off, mentally taking note of the blonde standing awkwardly behind his daughter.
Azzi turned around and gestured for Paige to follow her. They went upstairs and walked through Azzi’s room to her own bathroom.
“Sorry about the mess,” Azzi said, picking up clothes off the floor. She turned on the bathroom light and started washing her hands. “Didn’t plan on inviting anyone over.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t know your whole family would be here.”
Azzi just shrugged, stepping out of the bathroom to let Paige wash her hands. Once the blonde was done, they both made their way back downstairs and into the dining room. It was already lively with chatter and forks hitting plates.
“Paige!” Katie Fudd exclaimed from her seat at the head of the table. “Nice to see you, have a seat.” Paige waved in greeting, before sliding into the empty chair next to Azzi.
“Thank you. This looks good.” Katie brushed Paige off with a wave of her hand.
“It’s just spaghetti.”
Dinner passed in a flurry of good food, easy conversation, and mild sibling arguments. Jon and Jose mainly argued with each other, but they knew how to push their older sisters buttons.
After chiding from both Tim and Katie, things simmered down back into the calm they were before. Paige was asked questions that weren’t too intrusive, preventing Paige from feeling uncomfortable. It reminded her why she spent so much time here as a kid; the Fudd household brought comfort to anyone who stepped through the door.
After dinner, everyone helped clear the table and clean the kitchen. Azzi washed dishes while Page dried, and Katie moved around them while wiping down the counter tops. Tim helped Jon and Jose get ready for bed. Well, he monitored them to make sure they didn’t start any more fights.
After the kitchen was cleaned, Katie said goodnight to both girls before she disappeared into her room. Suddenly it was just Paige and Azzi in the quiet of the house.
“C’mon, I wanna show you something.” Azzi softly said into the darkness. Paige followed the younger girl without complaint, up the stairs and back into Azzzi’s room.
Paige took a tentative seat on Azzi’s bed while the curly haired girl dug in her closet. A few seconds later, she emerged with an old shoebox. Azzi sat on the bed, placing the box between the two girls.
“Look,” Azzi said, opening it and pulling out a Polaroid. Instantly, Paige remembered taking the picture all those years ago.
“I remember this,” Paige said, taking the picture from Azzi’s hand, their fingertips grazing each other. “This was so long ago.”
“I was nine,” Azzi said. “You were competing on two teams but you were still perfect. You never complained. And I wanted to be just like you,” Azzi admitted with a blush. “Part of me still does. I know it was probably weird how upset I got about your life, but this is why. That little girl is still inside of me. And I couldn’t help but think if you can’t do it, how can I?”
“Oh Azzi,” Paige said, dropping the picture. She moved the shoebox and scooted closer to Azzi, wrapping her arms around the girl. “You love to cheer, you’ll be perfect.”
“How do you know that?” Azzi whispered. Paige sighed, before pulling back.
“You have something that I don’t have, you know that? Having all the awards and offers means nothing if you don’t love what you do. Everyday at practice you give it your all and you love it. And then you laugh and joke around, and you love that even more.”
“So?” Azzi said, sniffling.
“So, that means the love and passion you have will carry you far. Further than I could even dream of, Azzi.” Paige said.
Azzi was quiet for a moment, before she let out a water laugh. “Who knew we both had something the other wanted.”
Paige laughed, shaking her head and wiping her own eyes. “Who knew. I’ve always known you’ve been good. Better than me.”
“No,” Azzi scoffed. “You don’t have to hype me up just because I was crying.”
“I’m not!” Paige defended. “You have drive and determination. And you’re super fucking strong.”
Azzi snorted. “I’ve spent my entire cheer career launching you into the air.”
“And you’re damn good at it,” Paige winked. “You’ll be just fine, Az.”
Azzi was quiet for a moment, analyzing Paige’s features. “We’ll be just fine, P.”
“You totally wanna kiss her!” KK exclaimed. Paige looked around, panicked, before clamping a hand over the younger girl's mouth.
“Shut up! She’s in this class, Kamorea!”
“So?” Nika shrugged. “She’s not paying attention to us. Besides, KK is right.”
“No she is not!” Paige exclaimed. “I do not want to kiss her.”
“Boogs, you are a shit liar. You wanna kiss Azzi so bad.” KK said.
“Stop name dropping!” Paige said, before sighing.
“I think it would be cute.” Nika said.
“I…we can’t.” Paige said.
“Why not?” KK asked. “It’s obvious she likes you. I’m even willing to bet she used to like you when you guys were younger.”
“She did not.” Paige said, but the tips of her ears turned pink.
“She did!” KK exclaimed.
“No,” Nika said with a shake of her head. “You did.”
“No!” Paige practically squeaked. “I-didn’t-what-NO!”
“You so did,” Nika said with a smirk. “It’s okay, it’s so on brand for you.”
“You guys would be so cute!” KK exclaimed. “I would have two parents.”
“Mind you,” Paige said with a roll of her eyes. “You have a very loving family.”
“You’re not very loving,” KK grumbled. “Ask her out, it won’t hurt.”
“Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?” Nika asked with a shrug.
“She could laugh in my face and make me feel stupid?” Paige said. “There are a lot of worst case scenarios here.”
“Then you go off to college in a few months and forget about it,” Nika said. “But something tells me that won’t be happening.”
“Whatever. You guys are idiots.”
The team bus smelled like way too much hairspray and perfume, loud pre-game music was flowing through someone’s speaker, a million TikTok audios were going off at once, and Paige was overwhelmed. Being a team of 30 girls meant total chaos on competition days. Normally everyone gets ready in their hotel rooms with their roommates. But CD said they got “lucky” and didn’t have to be there until 4pm, which meant a team roadtrip.
This means everyone sharing a seat while trying to get ready, spandex and knee pads flying through the air, and hair gel getting spilled on seats. Paige was glad Nika was her seat buddy, someone she was friends with and someone who was calm.
“We’ll be there in 20!” CD yelled from the front of the bus. “I want uniforms on under our warm-ups and everyone’s makeup to be done!” There was lots of scrambling after CD’s words, but Paige stayed in place. All she needed was her eyeliner to be done, and Nika always did it for her.
Paige turned to grab Nika’s attention, only to find the sarcastic girl gone. In her place sat Azzi Fudd, looking slightly confused.
“Uhm,” Paige swallowed. “Hi?”
“Hi,” Azzi said. “Nika said you need help?”
“I-what?” Paige questioned. “No, I just need her to do my eyeliner.”
“Oh!” Azzi said, a smile on her face. “I’m a pro at eyeliner. Well, on other people.” Azzi held her hand out for Paige’s eyeliner. The blonde eyes her hand before reluctantly placing the pencil in her hand. “Close your eyes.”
Paige did so, and a few seconds later she felt Azzi’s soft breath on her cheeks. She resisted the urge to open her eyes and admire Azzi, thinking the other girl would assume she was creepy.
After a few minutes, Paige felt Azzi shift and move to her other eye.
“Okay,” Azzi said, pulling back. When Paige opened her eyes, Azzi was putting the cap back on the eyeliner. “What do you think?”
Paige pulled out her phone and opened the camera app, examining her eyeliner. It looked good, better than Nika’s even. Both wings were sharp and matching.
“It looks good,” Paige said, glancing at Azzi. Suddenly, she got an idea. “You remember that picture we took years ago?”
“The one I showed you last month?” Azzi asked with furrowed brows. Paige nodded her head, a sly smile on her face. “Yeah, why?”
“Come here,” Paige said, leaning into Azzi. Paige held her phone out, making sure they were both in frame before taking the picture. She took a few, just in case.
Paige pulled up the pictures, examining them. Paige and Azzi’s faces were pressed up against each other’s, both of them wearing wide grins. They were wearing full faces of makeup, the camera cutting off the matching bows that sat atop their heads.
“They look good,” Azzi said, looking at them over Paige’s shoulder.
“They do,” Paige said and bit her lip. She cleared her throat before turning her phone off. “I’ll send them to you?”
“Yeah,” Azzi nodded, before getting up. Even though the rush of the bus stressed Paige out, Azzi’s distinct coconut perfume left behind an ache Paige refused to name.
The stage lights were blinding when Paige ran onto it and took her place. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves and her beating heart. This is it, she thought. The last one.
Paige went all out. Making sure every flip, jump, and tumble was perfect. Hers abs ached and her cheeks hurt, but it was the type of pain she knew she would miss when this was over. When the music ended, and Paige was suspended in the air with her feet on two flyer’s knees, she felt alive. For the first time in years, she didn’t want to throw up after a routine.
That was how she knew it was her time.
“Fuck that was amazing!” Nika said, pulling Paige into a hug after they walked off stage. “If we didn’t hit, someone has it out for us.” Paige laughed, her grin wide and her bones tired.
When it was time for placement, the captains rounded the team up.
“Guys, we did that shit,” Nika said, ignoring CD’s side-eye for her language. “Every one of us worked for that, and no one can take that away from us.”
“No matter what happens, just know that we wouldn’t be here without our hard work. In my book, and probably CD’s, we hit zero and won.” Aaliyah added. Both Aaliyah and Nika looked at Paige, wanting her to add something.
“I don’t know what else to say,” Paige said with a laugh. “We all did amazing. I can feel that we won. A routine like that is deserving of a medal. Cross your fingers.”
So they piled onto stage with the other teams. They took their seats and started locking hands, hoping they went home with a gold medal.
“Hey,” Azzi said, nudging Paige with her knee. “You did amazing.”
Paige smiled, grabbing Azzi’s hand. “I knew if I fell my base would catch me.” Azzi scoffed and shook her head.
“In what universe would you fall?”
Paige caught the tail end of the announcer's sentence. She didn’t hear the start of his announcement, too caught up in the way Azzi’s teeth caught on her lip. One second she was imaging those lips on her own, the next she was being yanked up by her screaming teammates.
“Congratulations to the Huskies!”
Paige looked around, needing confirmation that they actually won. Nika caught Paige’s eye and rapidly nodded her head. If that wasn’t enough to go off of, then Nika’s misty eyes were more than enough.
“Oh my gosh!” Azzi said, turning and wrapping Paige in a hug. Quickly, as though she realized what she was doing, Azzi pulled back. “Sorry, I just-“
“It’s fine!” Paige said, her painted lips stretched wide into a grin. “We fucking won!” Paige pulled the younger girl back into a hug, jumping around and screaming much like the rest of the team.
When they finally calmed down, the rest of the teams were guided off the stage and the Huskies stayed. They lined up next to each other, hands interlocked. One by one, the event staff placed a gold medal around each girl's neck.
“Congratulations,” One of the judges said when they got to Paige. “You’re a star.”
“Thank you,” Paige replies before bowing her head, allowing the medal to be placed around her neck.
After the audience applauded the athletes, the cheerleaders left the stage in an excited flurry. They crowded back into the dressing room, and after a congratulatory speech from CD, everyone split off to do their own thing in the room. There were various TikTok’s being made, girls lining up to take pictures with their teammates and medals, people calling their parents, and shared excitement.
“Senior pic!” Nika yelled, pulling Paige close to her. Aaliyah was on her other side, already smiling. Paige never liked taking pictures after competitions, but this time she found herself grinning.
“This looks great,” Aaliyah said. “The bus is stopping on our way back. Be ready.”
Paige made her rounds, congratulating some of the younger girls. When she spotted Azzi, she was sitting on the floor looking at her phone, her medal hanging around her neck.
“Done with pictures?” Paige asked, sliding down the wall next to Azzi.
“Cheeks hurt,” Azzi said. “I saw you taking pictures. Pretty rare sight.”
“Yeah,” Paige chuckled. She was quiet before she shrugged. “I don’t know…it felt right. Like closure, kinda. Is that weird?”
“I don’t think so,” Azzi said. “I think it means you’re at peace. You seem very…relaxed.”
“Yeah right,” Paige scoffed. “My palms are sweaty and my heart is beating way too fast to be considered normal. This sucks.”
“Really?” Azzi asked, with a raised brow. “When did that start?”
“When we went on stage for placement. It’s like it finally set in that this was it for me.”
“Like…right around the moment we held hands?” Azzi said. Paige furrowed her brows at the younger girl's tone, but nodded nonetheless.
“It was a nerve-wracking time,” Paige said. “What’s your point?” Azzi stared at the blonde for a moment before shaking her head.
“Nothing. I’ll see you later?”
“Okay,” Paige said. “See you…”
The bus ride to the restaurant was just as chaotic as the dressing room. There were still a lot of squeals, tiktoks, and pictures. But after good food, the bus ride back home was quiet. The sun had set, basking the entire bus in darkness. Nika had seemingly found another seat mate, which meant Paige was left on her own.
She had given up on leaning her head against the window, instead letting her thoughts run wild. That was until she felt someone sit in the seat next to her. Paige glanced over, and was pleased to see it was Azzi.
“Hey,” Paige whispered. “Can’t sleep?”
“Caroline snores,” Azzi said. “You?”
“Not comfy enough. Nika ditched me.”
“…you wanna?” Azzi asked, gesturing to her shoulder.
“You sure?”
“Well, I was gonna ask for a ride home so…”
“Oh,” Paige said with a giggle. “I see how it is.” Despite their teasing, Paige dropped her head onto Azzi’s shoulder. Azzi’s head rested on top of Paige’s, and before they knew it they were both out.
Bus lights flickering on woke them up, giving them a rude awakening. The team shuffled off the bus looking groggy and disgruntled, remnants of sleep clear as day. Paige had to practically drag Azzi off the bus, something she didn’t mind.
Once in the car, Azzi was wide awake but didn’t speak, enjoying the quietness. Paige kept her focus on the road, but at every red light her eyes managed to find their way towards Azzi’s profile.
Paige pulled up to Azzi’s house, putting the car in park. Paige got out to help the other girl get her bags from the trunk.
“Hey,” Paige said. “Thank you.”
Azzi turned around with quizzical eyebrows. “For what?”
“For being you,” Paige shrugged. “I think you’re the reason why I’m so okay with being done with cheer.”
“Why?” Azzi asked, shifting on her feet. “I yelled at you for making your own decision, and then told you I looked up to you.”
“Yeah but, it made me feel better. Knowing I didn’t waste my years on something. I had an impact, as corny as it sounds.” Paige said.
“Don’t,” Azzi said. “You did the same for me. There’s more to life outside of cheer. You’re just brave enough to explore it.”
“I…just thank you,” Paige said. Azzi nodded, letting the silence of the night blanket them. “Can we…be friends again?”
“Just friends?” Azzi asked. Her bluntness stunned the blonde, her eyes going wide.
“I-uh…yeah?”
Azzi stared at her for a second before scoffing. “You’re so damn stupid.”
Azzi dropped her bag onto the floor, closing the space between her and Paige. She grabbed Paige by the collar, pulling until their lips were touching.
The kiss was hesitant at first, almost like neither of them were sure. But at the same time, it seemed to click for them. This was it. The kiss turned hungrier and messier, like they were starved of one another.
When they pulled back for air, they both shared a laugh. Leftover competition lipstick was smeared around their lips.
“You have a little something,” Paige said, gesturing vaguely at Azzi’s face. “Might wanna get that.”
“You get it,” Azzi said, leaning in for one last kiss. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah,” Paige said, letting her hands drop from Azzi’s waist. Azzi smiled, before picking up her bag and turning around. Paige stood there, in the dark, watching Azzi’s retreating figure.
paige
*one attachment
We look pretty good, right?