#truedespair

[ariapmdeol]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~

aw hecc you got me kslkdsalalkjdl, no u!!

[hnnnfdfds]

Hello! May I have Chuuatsu with the prompt 63 please! I love your writing btw~

Thank you!!! I’m glad you seem to like my writing!!

Those are the prompts!

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63. Indigo skies just before dawn

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Nakahara Chuuya walks with confidence.

It’s a simple observation, one he cannot really ignore even though it’s not important—just a little detail. Atsushi doesn’t know why this stands out to him so much. It’s not like Chuuya is the first person with proper confidence that Atsushi has encountered.

Dazai is confident as well after all.

And there’s Ranpo, Yosano and Kunikida. Kyouka, Naomi, Kenji… well, Tanizaki does actually showcase confidence as well.

In the end, anyone but Atsushi has confidence. That’s the only truth.

So why does Nakahara stand out?

He thinks a lot about it, whenever he has time, whenever Dazai lets him be and Kunikida doesn’t scold him. He observes him a lot more whenever they meet—which is very rare so not often. 

And then he starts comparing the mafia member to literally anyone else.

First, of course, his mentor.

It’s the way Nakahara Chuuya walks, his steps clear and with grace, Atsushi doesn’t really possess.

(The tiger does but the tiger isn’t him.)

Dazai Osamu doesn’t walk like that. Nakahara’s steps can cause thunder. Dazai’s are as light as a feather—it scares him. Atsushi is reminded of what the other told him about himself, about how he used to wear mafia black and wield a gun and color the ground maroon. Not crimson. 

But Dazai’s steps are light and he skips around, turning and dancing as he walks. There’s no joy in the action thought. Atsushi knows when he sees those sepia orbs.

Later, he compares Akutagawa’s steps with Nakahara’s. 

They are quiet and clear, very different from Dazai’s and nothing near Nakahara’s but that clear undertone in the way he walks and holds himself—it reflects itself in the way Akutagawa speaks.

Atsushi comes to the understanding that there are different kinds of confidence. 

Dazai’s is coated in knowledge. His mentor is confident in what he knows and can know—a potential beyond what he showcases in his posture.

Akutagawa’s confidence steems from what he has done and will do—missions after missions, hands brightly crimson.

Kunikida’s steps are loud but sharp—his confidence is that of someone who is in control, someone who plans ahead. A bit similar to Dazai, not fully but still.

(Nakahara Chuuya walks with confidence but he lacks that control. Atsushi can’t understand.)

Kyouka’s steps are silent and so is her confidence. It’s not about bragging, not about showcasing it.

It’s similar to Akutagwa but not really—it’s a quiet, “I got you.” 

And then it’s gone. 

The lady with the umbrella from the mafia owns the same type of confidence but with more grace.

Tanizaki’s confidence is… wavering? Not fully there, it’s hidden usually. It only really shows when it concerns Naomi’s wellbeing.

What is Nakahara’s confidence then?

“Atsushi-kun, wait here!”

And Dazai leaves, chasing after someone, Kunikida hot on his trails. Maybe Dazai’s chasing that woman that gives him confidence? The one who will die with him. Maybe he’s chasing himself? Who knows?

“Weretiger,” someone speaks and he looks to his side, eyes widening.

Nakahara Chuuya.

Right there.

“Are you okay? You haven’t said anything yet and you look like you’ll fall over.”

The sun’s going down and he thinks about the way the other talks.

Easily, flowing nice, fitting—

Like he knows how to adapt, how to fit in.

What is his confidence?

“Weretiger?”

Atsushi snaps out of it and stares up at the sky.

Indigo.

Indigo skies and indigo lies.

“I’m fine.”

Nakahara raises an eyebrow. “You don’t look fine to me.”

“How… How do you walk?”

The mafioso blinks, confusion shining in his eyes and Atsushi forgets to breathe.

(His confidence is so strong, so present.)

Atsushi wants to be like that.

“We—”

“How do you talk?”

Atsushi waits for a response. He knows there won’t be one.

“... How are you so confident?” he finally cracks under the silence, under the confusion.

Nakahara Chuuya blinks at him and then sighs.

So sure of himself but not really…

“I walk with a destination, I talk without chains and I…”

Atsushi waits.

“... I’m not confident.”

And blinks. What?

“I just know what I can do and what I can’t.”

Oh. Unlike him.

“And there’s nothing I can’t do.”

Nakahara Chuuya bathed in indigo light.

“Atsushi-kun, we are back!”

“N-Nakahara-san…”

Chuuya stares at him and Dazai stops smiling.

“... you’re very admirable.”

Immediately, Dazai starts screaming whilst Nakahara smirks. 

Atsushi loves indigo. 

(He likes Nakahara Chuuya. Or does the tiger? Who knows? Atsushi doesn’t.)

[jove-bluh]

A full coloured doodle for one of the winners of my art giveaway, @truedespair who wanted Klaus von Reinherz from Kekkai Sensen with the prompt ‘Joys of Gardening.

[demico-art]

truedespair replied to your photoset: Heeere we go with a hint at his backstory :(

I’m guessing that there is another group of scientists who tried to copy or follow up from kanae’s dad’s work. Or something along those lines because well, I saw the close up of that kid’s eyes and they are different in the lining.

Definitely! I never thought it was Kanae’s dad or at least his colleagues to begin with. Maybe that explains the hippo Dvorak. It might have been a mistake.

[chris-phd]

🐇 For @truedespair ~ 🐰

[kidako]

Was that the one we Rped with? It sounds really familiar. My RP sideblog is blindfoldorders! Was gonna tag to make it easier but tumblr wouldn't let me- I'll have to follow it from this account unfortunately.

[hnnnfdfds]

This is a wonderful blog, I can’t get enough of your wonderful writing. Also may I get #1 on the sensory prompt with ChuuAtsu please?

Ah, so much to queueing stuff... I’m back though.

Thank you for those lovely words and I’m sorry it’s so short. I didn’t exactly come back with good health. 

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1. Watching a meteor shower // Chuuatsu

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"Woah," he mutters, eyes gleaming with admiration. "That's so pretty!"

There are a lot of things he hasn’t experienced as a kid. A mother’s warm hug, homemade food made with love, the cheerful laughter of friends, wearing his own clothes, playing in the dirt, playing with others, walking through a forest, walking through a city…

There’s too much he hasn’t done as a kid, so many fun memories he doesn’t have.

He has never seen a meteor shower.

He didn’t even know that was a thing until he was 17 years old and read it in an astrology book he found at the orphanage. 

Atsushi cannot describe how gorgeous the sight is in mere words. 

It’s beyond anything he has seen, and he works at a detective agency filled with people who are able to create illusions or summon demons. 

He turns to say something to his lover and stops.

Chuuya is smiling at him and Atsushi doesn’t think he has seen the other smile that glowing ever before.

“... Chuuya-san?”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

It’s a new memory.

Atsushi smiles back.

One he’ll cherish.

[hnnnfdfds]

Hey! I really love the writing you did with my request! May I have ChuuAtsu with #4-Napping in sunshine, please? Keep up the wonderful writing!

A bit short bc I love writing short things since moment pass away too fast. Thank you!!

Here are the prompts!

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4.Napping in sunshine // Chuuatsu

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Chuuya turns around and slowly opens his eyes, only to close them a few seconds later, a frown building on his face due to the sunlight.

It’s way too bright, he thinks, how long has it been?

Stretching his arms, he finally sits up and opens his eyes once again, this time expecting the amount of brightness.

“It’s a nice day,” he mutters, glancing to his side, where his lover lies on the ground, still asleep. The fact that he’s still sleeping proves Chuuya just how much the other trusts him so he can’t help but smile.

He shifts around and presses a hand against the other’s cheek, gently cupping it. The last few days were tough on them. There wasn’t much time to meet up and if they had time, both were too tired to do anything. It’s the same situation on that day as well. They planned to enjoy a small picnic together but both came left the bags to the side and fell asleep once they laid down onto the grass. 

“It’s cold,” mumbles Atsushi and Chuuya can’t help but snort. The other is lying directly under the sun, catching a lot of light. Then again, Chuuya knows the other’s body temperature is a bit colder than the one of most people. Shaking his head gently, he takes his coat from under him and places it over Atsushi.

“Dream well, brat.”