#trust.txt

[thisplacewillgrow]

One of my... uses? Abilities?

Is. Literally making Mae too drowsy to be overly rowdy. Or otherwise nullifying extreme emotions. Usually for Mae.

I don’t do it a lot , because. Mae needs to be able to express things. And her friends are good at listening to her. But sometimes she gets a bit ridiculous.

[thisplacewillgrow]

bad memory

@willyzepp @murdocsuccals you might want to see this

#abuse #death

i threw myself under the bus for mae. magpie was hurting her so much and i knew they already didnt trust me because of where i came from (long story im not ok with talking about right now) so i. took front. told them “its me, im doing this, ill leave and never come back, you dont have to hurt [mae] or the others anymore”

and i dont remember what they said but they were, so angry, they mightve grabbed me or maybe they were already grabbing mae

and the whole t ime mae was. yelling at me, too. begging at me to not, do this, that it wasnt worth it , that she didnt want me to go, and both of us knowing that everyone else , even the other leos probably, would think that the things i was making up were true

hero complex? yes. hero homicide? no. i was building mae back up after the hell she was going through, but i never, EVER hurt her. shes under my protection

all of this was dramatic on purpose, i knew magpie would fall for it, that they would be expecting a speech from me, that they would be glad for me to go without a fight, that they never expected me to fight anyway, that they would easily easily EASILY believe that i was secretly manipulative because of my origins

so. i left. i kept trying to tell magpie “dont blame [mae] for this, dont hate [mae] for this” and they kept cutting me off. so i just... left, because i wasnt allowed to say it.

but.

it. didnt even matter what i did. because mae died. and i couldt do anything about it. i didnt even know. i ... didnt even know mae died, that i failed so. epically. fuck.

even when they did manage to bring mae back, when they were out of magpie’s reach, they were scared to acknowledge the possibility that maybe i could come back too.

so... thats what happened. magpie hated me, i tried to use that to protect mae, and all that did was make the system down another protector (and magpie loved finding excuses to get us to drop our protectors) and left me stuck on t he Outside not knowing if anyone was okay or not

[thisplacewillgrow]

half awake

both mae and hiro are clinging to me like tiny koalas

[thisplacewillgrow]

ill

just go with Trust for now

hi, im trust. he/him or they/them

[thisplacewillgrow]

hi

uh. i dont... have a name i go by right now? i used to go by a name ending in -iel if anyone . remember thats

/wave

[thisplacewillgrow]

Good morning!

[thisplacewillgrow]

Trust: i leave my little brother with you for.... two weeks, and this happens

[thisplacewillgrow]

also can i just say how gross it is that a huge chunk of the fandom ships me and my little brother

im kinkshaming