10 Reasons New York Doesn't Want Peter Shih
Peter Shih--startup bro of Celery, a credit card thing?--wrote some really awful things about San Francisco, and humanity in general. He's since apologized poorly, but not before being shouted down for being a dipshit. Apparently he's been asked to leave San Francisco to come to New York, but trust me, we don't want him either.
Public Transportation: New York City has probably some of the best public transit in the world. You actually even listed us angrily as a city with better public transportation than San Francisco's! But people busk on the subway, and sometimes it doesn't smell great. Since I'd hate for you to have to interact with poors, maybe skip our transportation.
Parking: New York has some decent parking, but you have to pay through the nose for it. This was also the note where you were upset about homeless folk defecating on public transit, so I should note that NYC has virtually no public toilets. If that's a concern, again, stay away.
Weather: In the past three years, we've had to shut down twice due to hurricanes, plus the winter is brutal, and the summer makes you sweat like a sprinkler. Also, if you're grossly offended by women and their menses, our population is over 50% female and we've stopped banishing menstruating women to the edge of the city. That might upset you.
Startup Guys: Don't like the competition? You're a startup bro, bro. Plus we have Silicon Alley and Wall Street, and those dudes will eat you raw AND they're boring as fuck. Also, uh, women might like talking about TechCrunch and stuff. You're oddly fixated on women in a ridiculously misogynist way.
49ers: If you don't like women being autonomous and assertive (which I presume is what you've got a problem with, and why you call them bitches) then you're really going to hate New York. Not only do women run the show here in a lot of industries, but they'll have very little to do with you. By the way, if we're rating looks on a one to ten scale, I think a 4 would be a pretty generous rating for you.
Homeless People: I'm not even going to touch this one beyond to say to you that you're a privileged little shit, and you're awfully blessed to have a home and you should think at least twice before being such a dick to marginalized people.
Crime: This was an interesting one. You referred to the Bronx as being crime ridden and also referred to Midtown Manhattan as having a bunch of upstanding citizens. I'm sure you weren't referring to Bear Stearns or Lehman Brothers or AIG or anything like that when you meant upstanding citizens, right? And that's just white collar crime. Manhattan has some of the highest crime rates in the city, you racist turd weasel.
Nightlife: New York has an insane nightlife. We also have a shitload of transvestites. Our ratio of transvestites to taxis is probably 1:1. If you come here, they will probably rightfully beat the shit out of you for your transphobic comments too.
Cost of Living: Again, your concept of a safe neighborhood is laughable when you don't actually look at crime stats. But whatever, San Francisco is more dangerous or whatever. It's a shame you're such a wanker that you can't live nearby instead, which is what most people in New York do who can't afford Manhattan.
Bicyclists: According to dead red laws, cyclists can go through red lights and stop signs. Also, if you hate them, you're really going to hate New York now that we have Citibikes, because we just added a shitload more cyclists to the road, sidewalks, and pedestrian areas. Your little fit of pique sounds more like someone whining about vegans than actually having a point though.
Don't come here. And I hope your dumb business fails, you slobbering frat wannabe.