try honesty;
His head is on his sister’s lap and her tiny fingers are combing through his hair as she sings him a Korean lullaby. Taemin doesn’t understand the language that’s been passed through his family for generations so he just listens to her soft voice echo around the sitting room as he stares into the fire. Jieun is observant and curious, she knows something is wrong with her older brother and she asks him every day but is always met with the same response “Nothing is wrong, Ji.” But she doesn’t buy it and can tell he’s lying. Jieun lets the conversation die after giving him an all-knowing look and sounds a curious hum. She doesn’t say anything more because she’s too busy trying to decipher the situation and knows that it runs deep. Taemin, while protective, was honest and when he says it’s nothing she knows that it’s something she probably wouldn’t understand. Taemin is grateful for her silence at times like those, and he’s even more grateful at times like these. Their elder brother is sitting at the desk writing a letter to his fiancé, he’s pretending not to listen to Jieun’s song but it fills the room and warms both of the Lee brothers much more than the roaring fire does.
Ten minutes pass and he doesn’t budge from his potion on his sister’s lap, legs sprawled out across the couch. Taesun is the first one to move from his position, chair scraping against the hardwood floor. His letter is completed and he’s going to mail it to his fiancé, Adelaide, before dusk. They were getting married in two weeks time and she was away with her family in France. Taesun had prior work commitments and couldn’t attend the Selwyn annual family vacation. Adelaide wanted to stay behind but was persuaded by her family to go since it was her last vacation as a non-married woman. As he walks passed his younger siblings a smile cross his face and he leans down to ruffle the youngest’s hair, Jieun scrunched up her face and tries to smack his hand away but he’s already walking out the French doors, a laugh leaving his lips.
“Rude.” She comments lightly, not at all fazed by the loving gesture of her eldest brother as she goes back to playing in Taemin’s hair. Jieun was glad her brother was gone and was waiting for the opportunity to get Taemin alone. “Mimi,” this time her voice is above a whisper. She speaks quietly because she knows it’s a secret. Whatever is bothering Taemin is a secret, one that she wouldn’t ever reveal without the other’s permission. “Are you in love?” She knows by the way Taemin tenses and his eyes snap open that she’s right in her assumption. She had been giving it a lot of thought for the past month and had come down to that conclusion.
“No. I’m not.” He lies so easily that Jieun flinches and narrows her eyes. With her eyes narrowed she looks too much like a carbon copy of himself, Taemin thinks as he looks up at her and tries to lift his head off his lap. Jieun just pushes his head back down and Taemin doesn’t fight. Jieun hates being lied to and she won’t stand for it. Taemin never lies to her, but she’s not stupid. Everyone in their family knew when Taemin told a lie or not. It wasn’t because he was a bad liar, he was quite good, but because for what it was worth their family was close.
“You don’t have to lie. Not to me.” She goes back to carding her fingers through his hair, gathering some dark strands between her fingers and braiding it into a plait. “I won’t tell mummy or daddy. There’s nothing wrong with being in love, Taem. Love is supposed to be beautiful, right? Taesun and Ade are in love and they’re getting married and going to spend the rest of their lives together.”
Taemin continues to look at the fire. He’s been like this all summer and she was tired of it. Jieun wanted her fun loving brother back; the one who would take her out to get ice cream and buy her things, teach her how to make Potions and ride her around on his broom. Plus she missed their brother and sister dates when he would cook for her, and they would dress up in fancy outfits and then dance around the kitchen to slow music.
“Alright, I’ll try honesty, then.” It doesn’t take much for Taemin to give into Jieun. If there was anyone he trusted it was his little sister, without a doubt the most trustworthy of the Lee family. “I’m in love.”
Jieun smiles because she’s happy he’s admitted the truth, even if his words came out as a soft mumble. “So, what’s wrong with her then?”
“What?” his brows pinch together in confusion. What’s wrong with her? “What do you mean?”
“There has to be something wrong with her if you won’t admit your feelings to your family.”
A moment of silence, again. Taemin’s lips is twisting to the side. What was wrong with Jonghyun? So many things floats into his mind at that question and it’s too must to list and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go into the details of that with his little sister. This was no tea party and they wouldn’t gossip and talk about their love life over green tea, finger sandwiches and scones.“In that case, everything.”
“Huh?”
“Everything is wrong with her.”
“…oh.” It’s a momentary setback for the girl, her lips twist just as Taemin’s had a few moments ago. The youngest Lee siblings had the most similar characteristics and habits. “Like?”
Taemin doesn’t mean to say anything, he really doesn’t but his thoughts of Jonghyun have been so bottled in this summer since he hasn’t spoken much to Minho or Kibum due to their busy lives. Minho was going around campaigning with his father who was running for Minister of Magic, and Kibum spent most of his summers back in Korea where most of his family lived. He felt uncomfortable discussing Jonghyun with anyone else, and haven’t even told most of his friends about his feelings. He rather keep them to himself but with his sister sitting here he can’t help but to naturally be open. “H--She’s a Gryffindor, for starters. Pureblood but with muggleborn friends. Their family is almost the opposite of ours in beliefs and I’ve heard mum and dad talking about how their family is a disgrace to the name of wizard--in other words--mum would never approve. But, besides that, we bicker too much and she hates me since the moment we met. We have different interest, nothing in common. She slacks off and doesn’t take her studies seriously, she always hangs around with her friends and acts all high and mighty. Her number of admirers almost matches mine and she and I would just never work out, sis. It’s not meant to be.”
Jieun listens in confusion because the person her brother describes doesn’t sound like someone he would spare a second glance at. It leaves her confused because how could he like someone who he seemed to dislike so much? “Oh… then.. what do you like about her, Mimi?”
“She’s beautiful. Beyond beautiful, Ji. She’s not afraid to be herself and stands up for her beliefs no matter what people say. She’s brave and free and she’s happy, she smiles a lot and it’s like magic. Not our kind of magic, a different type--one that leaves me feeling warm and happy and wanting more from her. She’s funny and her laugh is beautiful, like a song. She has a lot of habits I’ve seen in passing and they’re really cute. I think she’s the most interesting person I’ve ever seen in my life. She has a sister who she’s protective of and will defend until the end, kind of how I’m like with you and I think that’s what I admire most about her. The bond he has with his sister is the first thing I’ve noticed, he’s so protective of her even though she’s older. He’s fiercely loyal, and he’s always doing right by his friends and hanging out with them. I know I said she doesn’t take her studies seriously but she is rather intelligent. I can tell she is, maybe not in the same subjects I am but she still knows how to handle her wand and defend herself. I think that’s important… Also, she has the most beautiful eyes--and nose, and lips and she’s a great kisser. We kissed, Ji, and bloody hell--I’ve never--…” Taemin continues speaking but Jieun stops listening at this point, and he stops describing the details of the kiss before it got too explicit for an eleven year old and instead goes into a ramble about the sound of Jonghyun’s voice.
Jieun’s mouth opens in confusion when she notices the change of pronouns in the muddle of his speech. She leans back against the couch with slightly wide eyes as he goes on, she listens with half a heart and frowns with the other. Taemin likes a boy, no he loves a boy. Jieun didn’t know much about love but she was raised that love is between a man and a woman. But sometimes boys love boys and girls love girls. Love was complicated and it came in many different ways and forms, Taesun had explained it to her once. Love wasn’t something that was defined by who you loved but by the feelings they gave you. Love was colorblind, and genderblind. It wasn’t something to be described, it was something one wouldn’t know until they felt it. Taemin felt it, Jieun could hear it in his voice, she could see it in the faraway look in his eyes as he spoke of his love.
Taemin loves a boy and Jieun knows it. Unlike all the other times where her curiosity gets the better of her she knows now is not the time to press. She can’t while she’s in this house. She may be young but she wasn’t nearly as naïve as people thought. If their mum found out… Jieun wasn’t ready to even begin thinking of the consequences. But the one thing on her mind was protecting Taemin at all costs, just like how her brother protects her. Jieun stokes his hair with a soft bittersweet smile as he continues raving about the boy he wants to call his but is unable to do so.
Jieun wants him to be happy with whoever the guy is, but knows that he can’t. Not while he’s under the hold of their parents and Taemin was so straight laced and always aimed to please them that he may never be released from their tight fist. That in itself made him being with this boy something that was out of his reach. But maybe…. Jieun stared into the fireplace, the same fire her brother was looking into as he faded into silence.
“When you love someone you should let them know..” because maybe that person felt the same, and maybe their love would be enough to free Taemin.
“She doesn’t love me, Jieun.” That quickly shot down all of her hopes and dreams, she closes her eyes tight and leans her head back against the couch. The Lee siblings both fell into a sad but comfortable silence. There was nothing Jieun could say to change things if the boy Taemin loves didn’t even like him back, and Taemin was relived because his heart ached too much for him to continue the conversation.