#tsime

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The Sun in My Eyes: Chapter 56

At Last I See the Light

AO3 | Wattpad

The last chapter. Five years TO THE DAY (because I'm dramatic af) this story is done. No, seriously. It's the smutty, joyful ending Bobby and Lili deserve.

Enjoy this final double chapter. I should have cut it into two but I couldn't do that to you or to me. I have many feelings about this era coming to an end. But I'll save them for another day. Hope you like it!

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The Sun in My Eyes: Chapter Titles

Obviously, when I began writing The Sun in My Eyes, I had no idea was going to take the rest of my goddamn life to complete 🤣 So I titled the first eight chapters whatever came to mind. My absolute favorite is "The Midnight Bombshell What Bombs at Midnight" which is a very obscure reference to an episode The Tick. Runner up is, "The Night was Sultry" which is from a movie called Throw Mama from the Train. I digress... When I realized that TSIME was gonna take awhile, I started using song lyrics for chapters. I have a file that has hundreds of lyrics that follow the themes of the story like weather, light, sky, moon, stars, etc. And they're all broken down into categories of: Love & Hope, Sexy, Angsty, and Hesitance & Longing. So for each chapter I'd decide the predominate emotion and then pick a lyric from the list. Or rather I'd pick eight of them and then make @throughthejunobush pick which one 🤣

Every once in a while someone on Wattpad messages me to ask about them. So, now that the story is done, I thought I'd just share what the songs were. Enjoy!

9. This Daydream is Dangerous – Treacherous by Taylor Swift

10. Follow the Sparks, I’ll Drive –  I Think He Knows by Taylor Swift

11. A Light Shining Through – Collide by Howie Day

12. Just Outside the Circle of Light –  Circle of Light by Ani Difranco

13. Need the Sun to Break – Need the Sun to Break by James Bay

14. I Want to Give You a Brand New Sky – Sunlight by Mason Jennings

15. Captivated By You Baby Like a Fireworks Show – Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift

16. Hand in the Flame of a Flickering Lighter – She Sets the City on Fire by Gavin Degraw

17. Here Comes the Sun in the Form of a Girl – Heaven Tonight by Hole

18. Everytime You Shine, I’ll Shine for You – Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift

19. Kiss Me Once 'Cause You Know I Had a Long Night – Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

20. Shadows Bleeding Through the Light –  Almost Here by Delta Goodrem

21. No Comfort in the Shade of Shadows Thrown – Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons

22. Got Scared When the Lights Went Low – Soldier by Gavin Degraw

23. Just a Touch of the Fire Burning So Bright – Just a Kiss by Lady A

24. Wrap Me in Everything that Glows – Hold On by Delta Goodrem

25. Just Keep Me Where the Light Is – Gravity by John Mayer (I know he's disgusting, but I titled the chapter before I knew how awful he was)

26. Toda Mi Vida, Se Abriga Con Tu Calor – Enamorada de Ti by Selena

27. The Fear Before the Flames – Glitter in the Air by Pink

28. One Minute There was Road Beneath Us, the Next Just Sky – Falling is Like This by Ani Difranco

29. You Should See the Way She Holds Me When the Lights Go Low – Hearts Don't Break Round Here by Ed Sheeran

30. You’re All I Want, So Bring Me the Dawn – Need the Sun to Break by James Bay (again)

31. And The Sky Turned Black Like a Perfect Storm – Clean by Taylor Swift

32. It’s Hard Letting Go of the Afterglow – Headfirst by This Wild Life

33. Praying for The Light I See in Your Eyes – Believe Again by Delta Goodrem

34. Flicker and Sway, Still Dancing on the Aftertaste – Old Flame by Kimbra

35. Baby, Look Up, The Sky is Falling – The Happening by Tanerélle

36. Keep Glowing, I’ll Follow Your Explosions – Kill the Lights by Matt Nathanson

37. Like the Colors in Autumn So Bright Just Before They Lose It All – Red by Taylor Swift

38. Deserted Like the Moon is at Dawn – Sanctuary by Delta Goodrem

39. We Will Lie Under Different Stars – Different Stars by Trespassers William

40. Feels Like Summer But It’s Earthquake Weather – Earthquake Weather by Matt Nathanson

41. Day Bleeds Into Nightfall – Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

42. Morning Light, It Stings a Little – Forever by Lewis Capaldi

43. Been Burning for You Baby Since the Moment I Left – Paul by Cavetown (some sites say it’s "minute I left," but I’d already committed to moment)

44. My Eclipsed Sun, This Has Broken Me Down – Hoax by Taylor Swift

45. Weepin’ In a Sunlit Room – My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift

46. Remnants of Fire Blow Like Sand in the Night – Map of the World by Mariachi El Bronx

47. Skinny Dip in Water Under the Bridge – Skinny Dipping by Sabrina Carpenter

48. Every Shadow Disappearing Into Dawn – Gold in the Summertime by Matt Nathanson

49. Making a Shelter for a Flame – Lighting Matches by Tom Grennan

50. Pocketful of Sunshine - Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield

51. Starting Like a Fire, Tonight You Lit the Flame – Everything Will Change by Gavin Degraw

52. Old Flame, I Fell for Your Inferno – Old Flame by Kimbra (again)

53. Under the Exit Lights as Beautiful as Ever – Forever by Lewis Capaldi (again)

54. 'Cause You're the Storm That I Believe In – You're the Storm by The Cardigans

55. Like Stars in Hidin', You and I Burn On – Undercover by Zara Larsson

56. At Last I See the Light – I See the Light by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi (Tangled soundtrack)

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The Sun in My Eyes: Chapter 55

Like Stars in Hidin', You and I Burn On

AO3 | Wattpad

Second to last chapter! In which, between fluff and smut, Bobby and Lili must navigate the last barriers between them and their happily ever after.

It was originally one monstrously long chapter so I split it in two. Which means the story will end very soon, and on an even number, which soothes my neurotic soul for some reason.

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Hi, just popping in to tell you that I'm procrastinating writing a literature overview for my MA degree + am in a "missing my LITG husbands" mood, so I decided to re-read TSIME which was a horrible mistake LOVE YOU BYE

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time 😂😂😂 Sorry Saga, but it truly was a horrible mistake. It's longer than The Iliad and more angsty (somehow).

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New Chapter

The Sun in My Eyes- Ch 54: 'Cause You're the Storm That I Believe In

A03

Wattpad

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TSIME: Meet Bobby's Crew (part 1)

One of my favorite parts of writing is actually just character creation. I love knowing exactly what they look like and all kinds of fun details about them, even if those details never end up in the actual story. So I figure, since I wasted tons of time making long character profiles for them, I figured I might as well write them up, make them pretty, and share them. Why am I doing this? Because sharing is caring. Duh. Defnitely not because I'm avoiding editing. How dare you?

ANYWAY. In this post we're meeting Bobby's best friend, his husband, and their daughter.

Meet Louis:

Interesting facts:

🗸 Louis is a loving, generous soul and does not charge Bobby rent. But he does occassionally ask for baked goods and Bobby always obliges.

🗸 Before they even got engaged, he insisted on paying for all of Dean's sick mum's housing and care, to take the stress off of his beloved.

🗸 He's a homebody who hates traveling. He finds it stressful and doesn't like feeling unmoored. He decided against going to a prestigious culinary school because he didn't want to leave Glasgow.

🗸 He and Lili get along because they're both type-A snugglers.

🗸 Comes from a wealthy family. His mother is a very successful estate agent and his father was a popular rugger (now retired). He's an only child.

🗸 His father, who grew up working class, decided that Louis should go to public school so he'd experience the real world outside of their wealthy bubble.

🗸 In school Louis was routinely, sometimes viciously bullied for being posh. Something he never told his family. But he didn't come out until he was twenty years old because he feared even more bullying for being gay. His parents had already guessed and gave him nothing but love and support.

🗸 Louis was not happy when Bobby added Jonno to their friend group in P6 and even less happy when Fenella was added when they were adults. He puts up with them because he loves Bobby and just accepts that his best friend is the type who brings mangy strays home, thinking they're beautiful. And who is Louis to tell him they're not? That said, they're not all mingin'. He adores Maitland and Nivaan.

Meet Dean:

Interesting facts: (there's a lot for Dean)

🗸 Despite being so tall and muscular, Dean is a fluffy bunny of a man. Very sentimental and kind. He will not kill bugs. If Louis wants a spider squashed, he's on his own.

🗸 He has four siblings, one sister and three brothers. He was the youngest. His home life was not great. His family was incredibly poor and his dad was abusive, sexist, and homophobic (among other award-winning personality traits). His mother was loving, but very passive and preferred not to rock the boat.

🗸 When he was fourteen he was trying to make sense of his bisexuality, so he confided in his mum. One of his older brothers overheard and told their dad. To say it was handled poorly would be an understatment. Hurt, scared, and unwelcome in his home, he moved in with his sister, an artist who lives in Rochdale. He says she is the person who actually raised him to be a decent person.

🗸 His mum and dad divorced when she had two strokes and his fuckface father wasn't interested in caring for her. Dean routinely comes down to Norfolk to take care of her affairs as she didn't want to move. His brothers do care about their mum, but theyre mostly skivers who don't know how to be helpful. His sister keeps in contact with Dean, but she has no interest in being near the the rest of the family so he's the only one taking care of his mum.

🗸 His dad and brothers actually have the nerve to try demanding money and help from him, because they know Louis is wealthy. Never mind that they have not supported their marriage and have never said a kind word to either of them. Dean has never given them a dime.

🗸 He has never and will never ever admit this to anyone, but the night he met Bobby at the pub, he assumed the Scot was grafting and he was 100% ready to take him back to his hotel room. So he was confused when Bobby told him he'd called his friend Louis and he was coming to the pub to meet Dean. Then Louis showed up and Dean could hardly speak because he was so instantly and completely smitten. It was weeks later that he realized Bobby was just obliviously flirtatious with everyone.

MEET ISLA:

Interesting facts:

🗸 There are none. She's three. Toddlers are generally low on interesting backstory.

Stay tuned for part 2 to meet Maitland, Fen, Nivaan, Jonno, and Samantha!

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5, 7, 11, 24, and 29. I'll stop there even though I'm oh-so-tempted to keep going!

Dear Sweet Baby Zeus, Sarah! Why are you so mean to me? Did I piss on a maple leaf? Kick a bunny in front of you? Why do you enjoy my pain? I could do an entire post just on #5 alone 😆. Maaaaan, this is gonna be so freakin' long…

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

I have a lot. Several of them are fully written, but not edited. I'm only gonna count ones where I wrote at least a paragraph and not the ones that have extensive notes or complicated outlines but no actual story yet. So lemme see... That'd be... 17. JFC.

LITG S1 AU: Levi vs Jake x MC

LITG S3 Villa: Nicky x MC

LITG S1-S2 AU: Levi + Lucas

LITG S2 Royal Werewolf AU #1: Bobby + MC

LITG S2 TSIME AU: Noah x Lili

LITG S2 Royal AU: Lucas x Arjun

LITG S2 Royal Werewolf AU #2: Bobby x MC

LITG S2 College AU: Lucas vs Noah vs Bobby x MC

LITG S2 Villa: Bobby x Marisol--it's cursed I know

LITG S2 Post Villa: Lucas x MC x Bobby

LITG S2 Villa & Post Villa: Lucas x MC

LITG S2 AU: Arjun x MC

LITG S5 Post Villa: Suresh (non romance)

LITG S2 Post Villa Divorce: Bobby x MC

LITG S3 Therapy AU: Seb x MC

LITG S2 College AU: Rahim (non romance)

LITG S6 Villa: Marshall x Lewie x Ozzy x MC

I might have to let go of some of these S2 ones. Ain't nobody reading S2 anymore. Sigh.

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

She laughed, the tension in her releasing. “Do you want to get my heart racing, Lewie?” His own soft chuckle faded and he stepped closer to her and lowered his voice. “I really do.” And just like that, the tension, the ache, returned two-fold. What was this man doing to her? He reached over and stroked her jaw. “Do you want me to get your blood pumping?” She found herself quivering beneath his touch. “Maybe.” “Just maybe?”  “I’m receptive to it.” He grinned and pulled her closer. “I’d prefer you to be keen. Maybe even enthused.” The bright blue of his eyes dazed her like a midday summer sky. “I can offer you amenable," she said. “Damned with faint interest." He picked her up and put her on the counter, letting his hands rest on her hips. God she loved when he did that. “I fear I need to give you something to make you a little more enthusiastic.” “You might have to,” she whispered. 

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

This is a good question! I don't usually think much about it. I rarely write dual POV for fanfic, because it's time consuming and I'm lazy. So when I know the premise, I generally know who's POV it'll be in. Like, in one of my wips, I decided that Levi is just discovering that he's bisexual and the story will follow him going from closeted to out so he can be with Lucas (who is already out and resents being shoved back in). Since Levi is the one who is going to grow and change, the story was always gonna be in his POV in my head.

With TSIME I DID plan to write Beach Hut Confessionals from Lili's point of view and scatter them throughout the story, but after the first one I realized that I liked it better when we only saw things through Bobby's lens.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I'm proud of writing small moments that foreshadow the big emotional impacts to come. Most people never even notice them, so they're kind of just something for me. TSIME has a fuck ton of them.

**WARNING: THE SUN IN MY EYES SPOILERS AHEAD)** Bobby and Lili share a cup of tea and Lili turns the mug so her lips touch the same spot his do, foreshadowing the first kiss she'll instigate many chapters later (though she'll forever say that Bobby instigated it). Lili tells Bobby early on that "people leave." And there are numerous scenes of him watching her walk away from him. All of it foreshadowing what happens after CA. Bobby tells Lili she should fall madly in love with him and she says it's a bad idea and he quotes a line from Thirty Rock, telling her there are no bad ideas. Only good ideas that go horribly wrong. Foreshadowing their relationship in the villa as a whole.

My favorite is when Noah grabbed Lili, threw her over his shoulder and walked off with her, saying, "Sorry Bobby, I'm stealing your girl," foreshadowing the disaster recoupling and something that happened later after the show between Lili and Noah. FYI I have a one shot for that one as soon as I post the last chapter of TSIME. It's both distressing and sexy. Thanks for the interrogation, Sarah 😝 You jerk.

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TSIME: The Casa Girls

While I was preparing to write Casa Amor from the boys' point of view for The Sun in My Eyes, I realized I'd have to create the girls, because we only really know Shannon. Even Blake is a bit of a mystery as we learn almost nothing about her, other than she's seems thin-skinned. So I spent some time sorting out the main personality trait of each original islander, and then made each CA girl a combo of 2 of them.

Marisol + Priya

Amber is a huge snob and decided as soon as she met Emily that she was stupid and low class, and needed to be put in her place. Amber is a bitch. It was really fun to write two women who were both WAY too good for Jakub, get so caught up in competing with each other that they forgot that what they were fighting over wasn't actually a prize.

Just Hope

Originally Siobhan was Hope + Lottie. A self-important troublemaker, but she just didn't flow that way when I started writing her. I didn't want to write yet another brittle black woman (Fusebox has that on lock). It was more fun to make her have all of Hope's best traits (playful, direct, ambitious) yet none of her worst. Siobhan is who Hope could be if she weren't so insecure. A self-actualized Zen badass. Basically she's S3 Yasmin before S3 came out.

Hope + Marisol

What's there to say about Shannon? I love this manipulative, savvy bitch. And she deserved better than Rahim's triflin' ass dithering between multiple girls.

Lili + Lottie

Yuna was an accidental villain. It was supposed to be Siobhan telling everyone about what Emily did, but once I started writing, it just felt right for this spoiled, chronic talker to thoughtlessly spill Emily's business to anyone who'd listen. And for her to lie to Bobby in order to manipulate him into choosing her. Love Yuna or hate her, you gotta respect the audacity.

Lili + Priya

You know, I really wanted to redeem Blake. I always thought she took a lot of heat for simply being a little thin-skinned, and I wanted to give context for her behavior when she came to the villa. But I underestimated just how much she was hated and no amount of context was gonna make anyone empathize with her 😆 Oh well. I tried.

Chelsea + Lottie

Oh, Emily. Girl. I love her tragic, bad decision making ass. And her wise, resigned kitchen conversation with Bobby is my favorite thing I wrote for Casa. I head canon, but never explicitly wrote into the story, that she DMed Lili the moment she left the show to apologize. Because that's just how she is. Emily is a fuck up, but she's an honest one.

Just an aside, but I gave her my mom's most endearing skill, the ability to cross one eye and keep the other straight. Something that never fails to make me laugh 🤣

Stay tuned, my post about Bobby's OC family is coming... eventually.

Thanks @longbobmckenzie for pointing out that my original post is missing for some reason.