Time Travelers AU - A Good Knight
Periods and burn out are assassinating me rn but if they think it's gonna stop me from posting they are WRONG
@ancha-aus I have no idea if you're back from your trip so hi for later maybe lol
Anyway going back under my three covers with my two pairs of socks and my radiator
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It had been two days since they had gone to see the troubadours in town, and despite Cross's worries they had all liked the activity. Cross was happy that everything was finally going well for everyone, no incident was to report, and they all seemed to be having a good time. The knight felt reassured, he didn't want his time to be stressful, he knew he probably didn't have the best period, nor the best place to stay at, but he at least wanted them to feel welcomed and included, so to have them happilly chat about the troubadours and ask him questions about the story had been great. There was at least one part that he didn't fail.
He glanced at them through the window from inside the house where he was preparing a pie with Dust, the other three being outside, listening to Killer who was holding his wooden sword and waving it in the air, seemingly showing his newly acquired skills as Nightmare hadn't been there to watch him the first time. Cross couldn't hear them, but he saw Killer point his sword at the noble, say something, and then pretend to fall before looking back at Nightmare, who stared back, looked up at Horror standing next to him, before nodding at Killer and watching him take a few steps back. Cross frowned, not really getting what the plan was, especially since neither Horror nor Nightmare had a sword of their own, so it couldn't be a duel, but he trusted Killer not to hurt them so he didn't feel the need to go interfere. He watched curiously, looking at the roman swing his sword like he had taught him before swiftly pointing it a Nightmare's throat, without touching him. Cross could have thought it was a normal show of skills, but he saw the noble dramatically bring a hand to his forehead once the sword was pointed at him and fall backward, Horror catching him with a hand on his back so he wouldn't hit the ground, seemingly faking having fainted. Killer smiled brightly at that, straightening his posture and putting his sword away, at least pretending to as he didn't have a scabbard, before taking Nightmare's hand to help him back up, yapping excitedly and almost bouncing on his feet, the two others smiling too. Seemed like they were having fun and helping Killer pretend he won a fight.
- Do you think it's ready ? Dust asked, catching Cross's attention.
The knight turned his gaze back on his friend standing in front of the oven, watching the pie cook in the fire. He went to grab some pliers to pull the mold out of the fire, inspecting the pie, and took a knife to stab it on a side and check the blade. The blade came out clean, nothing stuck on it, no blood from the meat inside, so he concluded the pie was cooked enough and put it aside on the stone counter to cool down before going to put the fire out.
- Pöeiz quarre à lis altres ? Cross asked if Dust could call the others, pointing at the window.
Dust looked at the direction showed, first looking at the window in question, frowning with a slight incomprehension, before glancing at their friends outside, a torch lighting up in his head as his lips formed a "oh" of understanding and he went outside to inform them the meal was ready. Cross used this time to set the table, a little nervous, he had an idea for an activity this afternoon, but just like with any other idea he had had, he was afraid it wouldn't interest them at all, and they would have to fake liking it just to please him... He sighed, shaking his head, thinking of the worst wouldn't be of any help, he would see for himself by just asking them.
Horror was the first to come back in, instantly smelling the food, he was rapidly followed by the others. Killer went to put his sword away on the mezzanine before joining them around the table, thanking Cross with a "mercit" in old french when he handed him his slice of pie. The knight smiled, always happy to hear them try saying words in his language, and sat too when everyone was served.
He watched them eat for a moment, making sure they all liked the pie, especially Dust as he helped prepare it, before speaking up, catching their attention.
- Li estat... he began, hesitating, tornoiement de cevaliers, eo voleie vos y meneir..
There was a tournament in town, knights fighting each other, he thought that could be a nice thing to show them, especially since Killer seemed very interested in sword fights.
- What is that ? Dust asked.
- Un tournoi de chevaliers, Nightmare translated for Dust, dicit certamen equites est, and then for Killer.
Dust thought for a moment, squinting, he tilted his head slightly to the side.
- A... tournament.. ? A knight tournament ? Do I even have that in the dictionary.. ? He thought out loud, grabbing his book.
He shuffled through the pages, searching, until he found words close enough to do a correct translation for Horror.
- Vera við bardagi ór orrostumaðr, he slowly pronounced, Cross vilja vera at vitr, he added.
Cross couldn't help but admire them all, how they all managed to communicate, to trust each other to not alter what one would say, to give the best translation they could come up with, Dust especially was impressive with his book, finding the words so quickly, translating a language into his before turning his into yet another one... Cross felt so proud, so honored to be friends with such amazing people. He didn't think he deserved it, didn't think he was worth their presence as he didn't feel special himself, but he was happy nonetheless, and wanted to enjoy it before it would come to an end. Good things never lasted after all.
- Voleiz y alier ? Cross asked if they wanted to go.
Nightmare was the first to nod, having understood the question faster, but the others eventually agreed too when remembering the meaning of the verd. Cross smiled, maybe things would go well...
They went after dinner, already hearing the noise of all the townspeople gathered in the field where the tournament took place. It had already started, but games like that lasted long so Cross wasn't worried about having missed much. He gestured for them to follow him towards a less crowded spot, somewhere they could see better without having to squeeze themselves between people. Horror stayed behind, he was the tallest, he didn't need the front row like his smaller friends did.
Two knights were already on the arena, one at each end of the long dirt alley, on their horse, with a spear in hand. They looked at each other, the horses excited and unnerved by the noise of people all around shouting encouragements at their favorite party. Then finally, the knights gave the signal for the horses to go and the two bagan galloping towards each other, gaining speed with each step, and holding tight on their spear. The sound of the weapon hitting the metallic armor was loud, hollow. The knight having received the hit had almost fell down his horse, but had miraculously managed to regain his balance just in time to turn around and face his opponent once more. Killer cheered with the crowd, always excited to see a good fight involving weapons. Dust and Nightmare were a little more hesitant, having both flinched when the knight got hit, not that used to such a violent combat. Cross hoped there wouldn't be any death this time, he wouldn't forgive himself if he had brought his friends to basically see a public execution. Horror seemed rather curious too, though not as invested as Killer, he still watched all of this with a certain interest. Cross didn't pay much attention to the fight, already knowing very well how they worked, he was mostly occupied making sure the others were fine, that none of them, because of the display of violence, felt unwell and needed to go farther to calm down. He knew these tournaments were hard to watch the first time and some people just couldn't stay for the whole game, or come at all, and he didn't want his companions to feel sick, so if any of them showed any sign of discomfort he would be ready to take them someplace else, away from the heat, noise, and smell of sweat and blood. He glanced at the game at the smell of blood, the spear of the knight in green banners, the one having been hit the first time, was shaking in his grisp: he was about to lose, his forearm was bleeding. He turned his attention towards his friends again, just hearing the battle was enough for him to know what was going on, to know one fell off of his horse and was crawling in the dirt, alive, thankfully, even if inevitably hurt.
- Is it always like that ? This violent ? Dust asked him, an expression of shock on his face.
Cross only understood the first part, the one asking if this was usual. He nodded. Was it a problem ? Did Dust feel un at ease ? Did he want to leave ? Was it too much ? Cross knew this wasn't a good idea, he knew he shouldn't have showed them the tournaments, he should have sticked to cooking lessons, they should have stayed at home or should have gone for a walk in the woods, the tournaments were too big, too crowded, too violent for them, they weren't used to that ! Cross felt awful. He was about to ask them if they wanted to leave when a familiar voice called them.
- Cross ! Blue called, having spotted them and now running towards them.
Seeing his friend arrive, smiling brightly as he saluted everyone, brought relief upon Cross, if Blue was here they could talk to him and divert their attention from the fight taking place as new knights would take the place of the previous ones rapidly, and so they would be spared from the view of more blood and maybe they could even leave before the first potential death.
- Aleiz ben ? He asked if they were fine, to witch Cross nodded.
Blue seemed happy to see them again, judging by his smile, until he saw Nightmare and took on a worried expression: the last time they saw each other was at Ccino's inn, and the noble was doing rather poorly. The blue eyed skeleton went to the noble, taking his hands in his owns as he asked him how he was doing, if whatever that had been troubling him had finally ceased to. Nightmare seemed rather confused at first, but was soon touched by the skeleton's worries and reassured him that he was feeling better. Cross let them at their discussion, Killer having tugged on his sleeve to catch his attention.
- Potesne et tu id facere ? The roman asked, excited, pointing at the fight.
Cross frowned slightly, did Killer want to fight too ? He wasn't allowed to, and even if he was it was far too dangerous for him, he was inexperienced and Cross didn't even know if he knew how to ride a horse to begin with. Killer, upon seeing that Cross didn't understand him, tried to think of words in the other languages.
- You.. peux aussi.. ? This.. ? He tried.
If Cross could do it too ? If he could participate in a tournament ? Hypothetically or realistically ? He hesitated, he could technically participate, as a knight he was allowed to, but could he fight well enough to win ? Would he stand a chance against his opponent ? That he wasn't so sure, the knights participating were all well trained, they knew what they were doing, they were strong, Cross wouldn't last long against them... Dust joined Killer, curious about the answer too, and Cross felt his nervousness rise in his chest. Would they be dissapointed if he told them he wasn't capable of doing what the other knights could do ? Would they think less of him if they knew he wasn't a good knight ? That he only got accepted and passed because they needed more soldiers ? They should ask Blue instead, Blue was a good knight, he was the one who had taught him most of what he knew now, Blue could answer them better than he could, and he had participated in a tournament before, and even won ! Blue was just so much better than him, so much more skilled... Blue would surely deny it, he would say Cross was the best of his promotion, but Cross didn't believe it, sure he had the better results , but was it really because he was good ? Or because the others weren't ? In any case, it surely wasn't because he was the best, he just knew it, everyone knew it, everyone told him: he was not a good knight, just a lucky one. A very lucky one.
He looked up at his two friends, he hadn't answered them, his thoughts having drifted away again. His thoughts always drifted away, he was always thinking about something else, worrying about something when he should be focused on what was in front of him, instead of being so stressed, so anxious about possibilities, about troubles that he could avoid by just doing his job well like all the others. He blinked, tried to focus again. Here he had thought they would need a break from the fight, but it had turned out he was the one needing to get away for a moment, not wanting to let his emotions out in the middle of the crowd. He always had such big emotions, the other knights called him too emotional, immature, not manly enough, a crybaby even, for those who saw him when he first got accepted and realized just how hard the trainings were, how harsh the other trainees were with him and him alone. He needed to gather his thoughts, and he couldn't do it if his friends were waiting for an answer. An answer that would dissapoint them.
- Uhhh.. B.. Blue puelt postre à vostres questionnettes, vo.. voiz aichiteir de quoi mengier... he blurted out that Blue could tell them while he was going to buy something to eat. Blue ? He called, a bit of urgency in his voice.
His friend turned over, alerted by the tone of his voice.
- Poez leur ansignier lis precepts ? Cross asked if he could explain the rules, implying, of course, answering their questions too.
Blue nodded, even if a bit confused, as Cross thanked him, backing already while mumbling he was off to the bakery to see if there were any pastries left.
Cross quickly left, sighing once alone and away from the noise. He hated leaving them like that, but he just couldn't answer their questions knowing he would inevitably let them down, so the best solution in his opinion was to let them with Blue, a more experienced knight, a good knight, a real knight, and come back once all of the questions would be spent...
He reached the small town again, the streets being almost empty with all the people having gone to watch the tournament, it gave him time and a relative silence to clear his thoughts in peace, taking his time to follow the way to a bakery. Guilt took a hold of his stomach, twisting and clenching it between its claws, at the thought of having fed his friends with lies. Maybe not directly, he had never pretended to be the best knight, but he hadn't told them either about how the time and setting at the moment of his training must have just played in his favor, he just let them believe he was a full knight and never told them that no, really, he wasn't that worth being admired... He had thought they would have figured it out seeing his house, but they had never seen another knight house before to compare with, so they didn't question it much, and Cross had sunken deeper into the fake view they had of him, and now he was too scared to lose their friendship if he told them the truth, to lose their trust... because what would they think ? They would think he lied to them since the beginning, they would think he put them in danger when they were in the forest, when he stood guard while they were sleeping, even when he stood guard in Dust's home, they would think he was an impostor, that he took the place of someone more deserving... he didn't want them to think all that, he wanted them to like him, egoistically, he wanted them to see him as a somewhat decent knight, as a friend, not as a failure who got lucky enough to be knighted... that was why it was preferable to let Blue handle the questions about their work while he took care of the questions about his time, something he couldn't mess up.
He flinched when he felt a hand grab his shoulder and swiftly turned around, ready to grab the arm of the potential threat to keep it away, but instantly relaxed when he saw it was only Horror. The viking was looking at him with a worried expression, both standing in the middle of an empty place, Cross hadn't even realized he had stopped walking and just stood there thinking instead. What was Horror doing here ? Why wasn't he with the others ? Did the noise bother him ? Did he not like the show ? Did he want something specific from the bakery ?
- Hverr ir rangr ? Horror asked, his voice soft despite the natural rumble he always had when he talked, as if the words rolled in his throat before coming out.
Cross didn't understand the words, but it was obvious with just his gaze that Horror was worried about him, that the sudden departure alarmed him enough to go after him after surely having exchanged a glance with the others. They always exchanged glances, the eyes telling so much more than words could tell, especially when they couldn't understand said words. Cross didn't know how to answer, if he should tell Horror to go back as to not miss the tournament and that he'll be back soon, or if he should fall into the other's arms and confess everything, let go of the weight he constantly carried with him. He stared at him, feeling his jaw shake slightly, and he looked away, at the ground, shrugging, he avoided Horror's gaze so he couldn't read his.
- Tout vait ben.. he answered in an almost whisper.
"All is well", another lie, but at this point, one more or one less wouldn't do much of a difference...
Horror frowned, not convinced by the shrug, and made Cross look at him again as he put his hand back on his shoulder, having been swept off when the smaller turned around. They looked at each other for a moment, Cross doing his best to not let his jaw shake, to not let his eyelights lose focus, to not be a crybaby again in front of the viking. Horror was so strong, so impressive to look at, he didn't need an armor to make him look tougher, didn't need a sword to make him look dangerous, nobody would want to mess with him, and yet he was so sweet, so gentle, so soft in the way he looked at them, at him, Cross was so admirative of him, of his strength and confidence, of all that Cross wasn't and dreamed to be. He didn't want to seem weak now, but he couldn't stop the tears from forming in the corner of his sockets as he looked down at his feet again, his clenched fists shaking against his sides.
He was crying again, good lord, he was crying again. Once a crybaby alway a crybaby, that was what they all said. He didn't resist when Horror gently pulled him against his chest, didn't resist when the pitiful sobs came out, when all he could do was hold onto the other's coat as a last barrier keeping him from completely crumbling down. He let Horror hold him, pet his head, let him bring some comfort into his aching soul.
None of them talked, they didn't need to, words wouldn't do anything, Cross already knew everything he needed to know: that his friend was there, that he wasn't alone, wouldn't be alone ever, that no matter what he could count on them all to be there and hold him as he fell apart and put him back together. Even if he wasn't perfect, even if his emotions got too big for a moment.
When Cross eventually backed away and wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, still sniffling, Horror just smiled, gave him a tap and a rub on his shoulder and slowly guided him back to the tournament, an arm around his back, not paying attention to Cross trying to tell him he hadn't gone to the bakery yet. It didn't matter, they didn't need food. They needed their friend.
When they came back, no questions were asked, no one gave Cross side looks, no one asked him where was the food, why he took so long, why his cheeks were still tinted with a soft purple, Dust just grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to the barrier where Nightmare moved to leave him the place in the front, preferring to watch the fight from a distance, Killer then took place next to him, pointing at the race to require some explanations for Dust and him, some facts, who were they, what was the goal, what would they win... Cross looked back at Blue who simply smiled at him, he knew his friend enough to know what had been wrong, and he had handled everything so Cross wouldn't have to, and for a moment all truly was well, and Cross could smile back and turn his attention to the fight again, feeding his friends' curiosity with answers as he forgot about his troubles for a moment, feeling he was right where he needed to be, right where he belonged.
When he looked at his friends, he knew he wouldn't care about their flaws, and, deep down, he felt they might not care about his as much as he feared either...