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[bilgisticallykosher]

The Transient Property

Transmission

Previous Chapter (getting together) | Previous Chapter (already together)

Masterpost | AO3

An extra-curricular activity leads to some extra-curricular questions and answers, and possibly new opportunities.

Word count: 2851

Warnings: Uhhh, vague mention of canon events. Brief fear of something happening to Danny. Tell me if I need to warn for anything else.

I hope everyone here has watched the deleted scenes! Otherwise you will be very confused about who Gabriel is.

Nicholas and Danny were talking to the school again. Another perfectly ordinary day, not that Nicholas was complaining. Ordinary days were wonderful. Any day spent with Danny was brilliant.

They had finished their talk; Nicholas doling out facts and statistics, Danny peppering in little jokes here and there, acting some parts out, and it had been great. They really made a great team.

And, if Nicholas had anything to say about it, great boyfriends, as well. And he did. (Have something to say about it, that is.)

Everyone had left the school, and they were cleaning up; folding away the screen from the slideshow, making sure all their papers were in order, when Danny spoke up.

"I need to piss."

"Careful, the children might be around," Nicholas frowned at him.

"I'm pretty sure they all piss, too." Danny grinned.

"Shh!" Nicholas scolded as Danny snickered. "Just go, I'll be waiting here when you get back."

"Alright, don't miss me too much!"

"Yeah, yeah." Nicholas gave him a smile, and Danny gave him a wave and set off for the bathroom nearest them, which was in the teacher's lounge; small but ample bathroom space. He hadn't much time to miss Danny too much (only a little bit) when he heard his scream ring out.

"NICHOLAS!"

Nicholas dropped everything. Literally. Files dropped onto the table as he ran, feet slipping across the tiles as he rounded the corner, pulling out and readying his truncheon. He burst through the door of the lounge, which was open already, before stopping in front of the men's room. He listened at the door, only hearing Danny's voice softly saying 'it's alright, it's alright' like he was talking down someone with a weapon. Nicholas's stomach turned in fear of what he'd find, but at least Danny sounded unharmed.

He kicked open the door (unlocked), and turned to find himself face to face with Gabriel Weaver, no weapon in sight, backpack open at his feet, who flinched back, looking terrified. He looked terrified because of Nicholas's sudden entrance, his truncheon, and the fact that Gabriel was currently wearing a skirt, with makeup on his face.

Well. Perhaps not his. Ah. He could see why Danny called him.

"Sorry," he lifted up his hands to show he meant no harm, only to have Gabriel flinch again as Nicholas forgot that he was still holding his truncheon. He grimaced. "Sorry," he repeated, slowly putting it away.

"Er, hey," Danny brought attention to himself, and looked back and forth to the loo a few times. Right.

"Yeah, go on ahead." Danny flashed a relieved grin and rushed into the stall. This left Nicholas and Gabriel staring at each other. "...Gabriel. Hello again."

"'Lo." Nicholas hesitated. The sound of Danny relieving himself started up. Nicholas awkwardly cleared his throat.

"...how did you enjoy the presentation?" He attempted normalcy, as though any of this were a normal situation.

"Don't avoid the subject!" Danny's voice came through, ringing with the metal reverberation. Nicholas sighed. He was right, of course.

"So, Gabriel," he cleared his throat. "Are you, still going by Gabriel, then?" Gabriel shrugged, looking down and away. "Look, I know that this is a little," Danny flushed, "awkward." He attempted a smile which was not returned. "But you don't have to worry," Gabriel still looked slightly terrified, so Nicholas decided to just come out with it, and, well, come out. "Because I was born a girl." He'd thought to make it a simpler phrasing for Gabriel's sake, and apparently he'd been right, because Gabriel's head snapped up. Danny took that moment to open the stall, door slamming open as he accidentally swung too hard.

"Whoops! Don't mind me," Danny sidled behind Nicholas towards the sinks and turned the water on, washing his hands. Gabriel, whose eyes hadn't moved from Nicholas, paid him no attention.

"You were?" Gabriel whispered.

"Yes, I was." Gabriel now looked at Danny for a bit, before looking back at Nicholas, who smiled. "It's alright. Sergeant Butterman already knows." He turned towards Danny and smiled a little more tenderly. "It's why he called me in, in fact." Danny finished washing, and matched Nicholas's smile, before taking some paper to dry.

"But you're a man?" It didn't seem a question as much as confusion.

"Yes. I'm transsexual." Gabriel hesitated, and Nicholas took a guess. "Do you know what that means?"

"Er, sort of?" But Nicholas went on, anyway.

"It's when someone doesn't feel like the-" he hesitated only briefly, "sex they were born. That their body doesn't fit them quite right, but the opposite one does," Gabriel seemed to be following, "and then they might change that, or dress differently, and present as what they feel, or even seek to physically change their bodies to match the sex they feel like." Nicholas gestured to himself. "Which is what I did."

"You can do that?!" Gabriel was wide-eyed again, but on the verge of smiling. "Even in Sandford?"

"Yeah. Even here." There was a small pause, as Danny wandered back over, standing slightly behind Nicholas. "Have you learned much about this sort of thing?" A shake of the head. "Anything?" A nod. "Do you know what pronouns you'd like to use?" A frown.

"Um. I don't know?" Gabriel looked panicked.

"Would you like me to try it out for you?" Nicholas offered.

"Maybe. How d'you do that?"

"Well, you generally use the pronouns we're talking about when you're not speaking directly to the person in question, so..." Nicholas turned to Danny, who shrugged.

"Go ahead."

"Hello, Sergeant Butterman. This is Gabriel, I met her at the church fête when I was new, and she helped out a lot with spray painting with her friends." He looked back, and asked, "how did you like that?" Gabriel's nose scrunched.

"Not much, I don't think." Back to Danny, who was smiling, amused and looking proud, the latter of which made Nicholas blush, so he ignored it.

"Gabriel is looking nice in his skirt, don't you think? And his makeup-" Nicholas stopped suddenly, remembering someone he'd met in London. "...looks good on them, don't you think?" Danny frowned, unfamiliar with the usage of the pronoun in this context, but Nicholas just mouthed 'Later' and turned back to Gabriel.

"Don't know." Gabriel shifted, feet going back and forth. "I think just stick to how I've always done?" Nicholas nodded.

"It's alright. You're more than welcome to go with whatever feels best for you." Gabriel relaxed again.

"I don't...I don't think I want to be like you." He looked panicked again. "I mean-"

"You aren't transsexual," Nicholas helped him out. "You don't want to be a woman?" He confirmed, and Gabriel nodded gratefully, relaxing again. "Do you know what you do want to be?" Gabriel bit his lip.

"Um. No."

"But you like wearing skirts and dresses and makeup?" Nicholas asked, taking care to make his voice neutral, and his face relaxed, so it wouldn't seem like he was judging him.

"Er, yeah." He smiled a little, and Nicholas couldn't help but smile back.

"But not because you want to be a woman?" Nicholas asked again. "Is it because you feel better in them?"

"I... don't know? Maybe. I'm not sure that I don't." He looked between Nicholas and Danny. "When do I have to decide by?"

"Oh, Gabriel." Nicholas sank down into a crouch to face him more directly. "There's no timeline for this sort of thing." He wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but didn't. Considering that they were two grown men alone in a bathroom with a child, better to not. "I knew when I was very young, but not everyone does. You can take as long as you want to decide. And even then, it's not set in stone. If you decide one thing, and then decide you were wrong, or you want to explore something else, that's perfectly fine. Even if it's years later."

"Really?" Gabriel gaped, like he was being told new information. He likely was.

"Why did you use the teacher's lounge?" Danny asked him.

"Thought I'd be alone." He looked sheepish. "Is that okay?" He frowned. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"I think we can make allowances for special situations, don't you?" Gabriel smiled again, Danny beamed.

"I just, I dunno. It feels nice. The makeup is new, but I wanted to try it." He shrugged. "It's alright. I don't think I did it right, but it's okay." Gabriel patted his skirt, "but this is still nice. I like them. I like them on me." He got a little sad again. "My grandad...I wasn't doing it then. But, I don't think," He gulped. "I mean, I'm still sad that he died and all, but also, he was sort of a bad man, and I don't think he'd have approved of any of this, anyway."

"And this would be Sergeant Butterman's expertise." Nicholas rose with a slightly sad smile. Danny walked over to Gabriel, thought a bit, shifted, looked around, thought some more, then patted him on the shoulder.

"It sucks arse."

"Sergeant Butterman!" Nicholas's voice cracked a little. But Gabriel giggled and nodded.

"He's right. It does." Nicholas sighed, resigned. Gabriel frowned. "He didn't even like it that I kept my hair long. Always asking me to cut it, said it wasn't proper for a boy to go around with hair like a girl's." Danny nodded.

"Yeah. But, he was still your granddad. Still sought his approval." Gabriel and Danny nodded in unique understanding of one another.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, that's why I was always running around with everyone else spray tagging. Felt like another bit of rebellion, like the hair." He shrugged. "But I was always nervous he'd find out. Didn't quite know how bad it'd have been if he did, but I knew it wouldn't have been anything good." Nicholas remembered perfectly the church fête. The fear in Gabriel's eyes at the thought that Nicholas would tell Tom what he'd been up to, more scared than he'd looked when Nicholas had caught him in the first place. Similar to how he'd looked at the beginning of this very conversation they were having now. "Guess it might've even been worse than that."

"Glad it wasn't." Danny told him, sincerely. Nicholas also thought it; he was glad for anyone that had escaped the N.W.A.'s clutches, but this was their conversation, now.

"Y'think he'd have stopped that lot?"

"Dunno. Maybe." Danny considered. "But at any rate, you were able to play heroes with your mates, that was pretty kicka-" Nicholas shot him a look, "kickbutt, wasn't it?" Gabriel ducked his head, blush evident even behind the poorly applied rouge.

"Onlysprayedafewcameras," he mumbled.

"Couldn't have done it without you." Nicholas told him, quite honestly. Gabriel looked up at him like Danny used to (still occasionally did) when he first came from London.

"You two... this's been really helpful. Don't really have anyone to talk about any of this with, you know?" Yes, Nicholas imagined he did know. Likely Danny understood even moreso.

"Maybe we can have another talk sometime," Nicholas offered. Gabriel's eyes widened, smile creeping across his face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You can stop us if you see us when we're on patrol," he considered. "Or, you can come by the station and ask for us, if you'd like a little more privacy. The rest of the officers are also okay, even if some of them aren't quite as knowledgeable."

"Maybe miss the Andies," Danny suggested.

"Maybe miss the Andies," Nicholas agreed. "But Constable Thatcher might be able to help you with your makeup and fashion and such."

"I've seen her try new looks on Constable Walker, sometimes," Danny winked. "Maybe he'll lend you his face for practice."

"He told me he'd gotten hit with a colour bomb during pursuit!" Nicholas gaped.

"Pursuit of fashion!"

"That's hardly-" but Gabriel giggled again, so Nicholas dropped it. For now.

"Um. I should probably be getting ready to go back." Gabriel said. "Going to have to change back, so..."

"Of course," Nicholas nodded. "We'll let you alone. Would you like us to escort you back home?"

"Nah, I'll be alright, but, um, before you go." Gabriel shifted again, biting his lip and Nicholas waited patiently for him to continue. Gabriel suddenly leaned in, getting his arms around the both of them to the best of his abilities before cutting it off just as quickly, taking a few steps back and grabbing his bag. "Thanks." And he turned around, possibly from embarrassment, but clearly dismissing them.

"Sure," Nicholas replied, more touched than he could say. "See you around, Gabriel." And then he took overly loud steps as he and Danny walked out, headed back to the room they'd done the presentation in. Nicholas tried and failed to fight a smile.

Danny was staring at him with an odd grin.

"What?" Nicholas asked, unable to wipe his own from his face.

"Nothing. Just," Danny's smile grew, "it was really sweet, you and Gabriel." Nicholas scratched the back of his neck.

"I suppose..."

"Watching you two together was cute," he stopped in the hallway, Nicholas following suit. "It was nice seeing that side of you. Never seen it before." He brushed the side of Nicholas's cheek. Nicholas's breath hitched at the touch, until Danny's words caught up with him, and he hesitated.

"Do you want children, Danny?" Nicholas met his eyes.

"Why? Planning on stealing Gabriel?" Danny raised an eyebrow playfully.

"No," Nicholas snorted.

"Probably convince his parents for a high enough price."

"Danny!" Nicholas laughed. "That's not what I meant." Danny took a bit to consider, taking his hand off of Nicholas's cheek.

"Dunno." He shrugged, after thinking about it. "Haven't thought about it, really. It's just," Danny nudged him with his elbow. "You did good." He grinned.

"You didn't do so bad, yourself." He elbowed him right back. They continued walking back.

"Yeah, I guess, but I mean. You really did good," Danny insisted. "There's nobody in Sandford that knows this stuff like you." He did have a point. "I'm the only one that comes closest, and I don't know near as much as you." The awe-struck, impressed look that Nicholas knew so well was back. "I'm good at murderous arsehole parents," Nicholas's mouth twitched up, "but you probably know more'n all the rest of Sandford, combined."

"Well, perhaps I could talk to the library, see about starting a small section on this sort of thing." Danny hummed.

"Maybe, but I was sort of thinking that maybe you could talk to people what needed it." Nicholas froze. Danny waited patiently until Nicholas felt his jaw move freely again.

"I'm not exactly the right sort of personality to be a counselor, Danny," he settled on. It wasn't that it was a bad idea, but Nicholas being the one to do it? No, no, it'd never work.

"You did alright with Gabriel, didn't you?"

"I nearly scared him stiff!"

"Well yeah, but after that."

"You can't just push aside-"

"You did a good job, Nicholas." Danny told him firmly. They walked back to the room in silence and went back to cleaning up, some papers having dislodged when Nicholas dropped them. And as Nicholas considered the conversation, his thoughts lingered on that small, sincere thanks at the end that they'd gotten.

"Well," he cleared his throat, "if I come across anyone else, I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try." He frowned, "but I'm not advertising for it or anything. I don't even know how you'd go about doing that." Danny shrugged.

"Beats me." Danny grinned at him, "but aww, that's great, you'll be fantastic, I promise you!"

"I don't know about that..." Nicholas rubbed the back of his head, feeling a blush coming on.

"Oooh, Chief Inspector Angel." Nicholas's head shot up again as Danny put on a ridiculous voice. "I'm thinkin' I might be experiencing homosexual tendencies." Nicholas laughed. "C'mon!"

"I see, and what makes you think that, Sergeant?" He couldn't quite manage his professional work face, due to his smiling from Danny's antics.

"I've got a big ol' crush on a bloke that I work with!" He batted his eyelashes at him, which only set Nicholas off laughing again. "He's handsome an' smart an' I can't stop thinkin' about him! Plus, he's my partner and my superior officer. What should I do?"

"Well, that sounds like a serious problem." Nicholas put a fist on his chin in mock thought. "I think you ought to meet me after work at the pub, followed by some movies, so that we could discuss it more in depth."

"Ooooooh, Inspector Angel," and there went the eyelash batting again, "ta, I don't know how I'll ever repay you." Danny put his hands on Nicholas's shoulders. "But I'm sure I could think of something." He stared at his lips and Nicholas's mouth went dry.

"Well, I suppose-" but Danny was already kissing him, tongue and all, and it was wonderful, and Nicholas allowed himself a few moments to get lost in the sensation, but then Nicholas caught himself, and patted Danny harshly on the chest, and he pulled back. "Danny, we're at work," Nicholas protested, noticing his voice had gone a little husky.

"Aw, c'mon," he pouted. "We're clocking out as soon as we get back."

"No. It's unprofessional," Nicholas insisted.

"Just a small one?" Nicholas hesitated.

"Alright, just a small one," he allowed. "Go on, then." He leaned in and they shared a quick kiss. And then another. Nicholas licked his lips. "Actually, perhaps we should skip the pub."

They made record time in cleaning up.

~~~

So. Nick Frost is going to be in the new Harry Potter series. Olivia Colman has signed something that indicates she might not care for Jews too much. Simon Pegg was in Hogwarts Legacy, and now is also supposedly going be in the new series, so he doesn't care about Jews or trans people. I'm disappointed, disgusted.

That being said, this fic is not about the actors. This fic, all of my Hot Fuzz fics, are about the characters, who are not the actors. They are in no way benefitting from me writing this fic, nor you reading it. It sucks, but we move on, we find joy in it anyway.

Non-PSA: So this was definitely not inspired by the fact that when I first watched the deleted scenes I thought Gabriel was a girl, what are you talking about. Anyway, this idea hit me out of nowhere and I wrote most of it in like an hour. I imagine that Gabriel will eventually go by they/them or he/they. Gabriel's parents will be fine about it, because Nicholas and Danny support them. No there's no problem with them talking to Gabriel about this stuff, because it's my fic and I can shape the world and its rules.

[bilgisticallykosher]

The Transient Property B

Lost In Translation

Masterpost | Ao3 link

Welcome to trans man Nicholas Angel! Before you go on! I couldn't choose between two options of their relationship status, so I did both. The previous chapter is where they're not together when Nicholas comes out to Danny, and this chapter is where they're already in a relationship when he comes out. There's a lot of similarities, but hopefully different enough that you could enjoy them both. But if not, choose your own adventure! And here's the next chapter!

Summary: Nicholas has something to tell Danny that he's nervous will disrupt their relationship, so he decides to use movies to communicate.

Word count: 3,316

Warnings: Written by a cis woman. Accidental misgendering, mentions of non-specific transphobia, arguing, sexual jokes and implications, nondescript heavy kissing, mild gender dysphoria. Danny says some offensive things here by design.

Movies in order are: Some Like It Hot; Victor/Victoria; To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar

-----

It was one of their many date nights, which is to say, they'd been to the pub after work and now were having a movie night. It was going well. It was going phenomenally, overall. Except that Nicholas had neglected to tell Danny one rather important thing.

It wasn't as though he hadn't intended to. He'd wanted to tell him. But at first he'd been new, and had had no reason to tell anyone, and by the time he'd really started trusting Danny, they'd all been preoccupied with what was going on with the N.W.A., and then the shootout, and then Danny was in hospital, and then he'd found himself not just co-worker partners with Danny, but partners of a different sort. And he should have told him then, or the next day, or the week after, or the week after, or-

But he was determined to do so this week, which was why they were watching a movie of Nicholas's choosing. He had a plan. He figured that if he slowly introduced the idea to him via movies, maybe it would go alright.

He had of course done his research, and had decided on three of them; one each night in an arrangement with Danny. The first movie he'd chosen had some action, even if that wasn't the main plot, and treated the whole matter rather light-heartedly, but it still showcased the topic that Nicholas was going for vaguely enough. Thus, Danny didn't really say much about it (aside from his glee at the shooting scenes) until it was over.

"Nice ending," he grinned at Nicholas, leaning over to give him a quick kiss. "That was a sort of American panto, wasn't it?"

"Sort of, yes." Nicholas had to agree. This was a good movie to start in on the subject. Violence and lighthearted cross-dressing. The fact that the movie seemed to allude to a man not minding that his girlfriend was actually just a man in a dress seemed to be a delightful bonus, based on how Danny went in for another, deeper, kiss. Something that Nicholas was definitely not going to complain about, kissing him back with equal fervor.

Until the idea popped unwillingly into his head that Danny might see him like Jack Lemmon; just a man in a dress. (Or, rather, the opposite,) and the thought worried him so much that he broke off the kiss, abruptly and rather unhappily.

"Sorry," he told Danny. Because he was sorry about breaking the kiss. But Nicholas was not sorry that he was not like Jack Lemmon, because Nicholas was a transsexual man.

He honestly had no idea what to expect from Danny. What with Frank's reign on any perceived blight on the town's reputation and the small town mindset in general, Nicholas was sure that Danny hadn't ever met anyone who was trans-anything. Then again, he had quite surprised Nicholas with how receptive he was to the idea of a homosexual relationship, nevertheless being in one. The thought made a small smile break out on his face despite having just ended their kissing prematurely.

"Don't worry about it," Danny told him back, seeming completely genuine, despite the fact that he was definitely breathing more harshly. He'd been very good about Nicholas's reticence in overly long snogging sessions, his pulling away, his excuses of 'not quite yet.' Danny had said that there was no rush, that he was willing to wait for Nicholas. And frankly, he'd been so sweet about it that it only made it all the harder for Nicholas to hold himself back. So, yes. He was telling him soon.

"Er, you've got another one queued up?" Nicholas diverted from the awkward air about them.

"Yeah, sure." Danny got up to put in the next movie for the night (his own choice), and when he sat back down, Nicholas grabbed his hand, holding it as the intro started up. And Danny's smiled warmed him, melting some of his fear away.

~~~

The next movie on Nicholas's list was similar in many ways to the first. But it was also slightly different, in as far as who it was that was dressing across their gender.

"Hey, that's Julie Andrews, that is!" Danny said excitedly, before he blinked. "She in a movie about homos-" Nicholas gave him a look. "...exuals! Homosexuals, I was saying it!"

"Of course," Nicholas was just worrying too much; Danny had been saying it. A smile tugged on his lips despite himself. Danny really was trying. And though he had slip-ups, they were never from a place of hatred, just casual ignorance. Of course, it likely helped that they were in a homosexual relationship, themselves, but Danny had taken to proper terminology very well in general, anyway. He gained confidence every time Danny kissed him when someone gay was mentioned, or how he squeezed Nicholas's hand back throughout the movie. He still looked vaguely confused at some things.

"I guess I just don't understand what this whole female impersonator thing is on about," he shrugged with one shoulder when the movie ended. "After all, what's the point of being homosexual if you're looking at them what look like women?" He shook his head lightly as he spoke.

"It's been a part of the culture, is all." Nicholas explained, not quite knowing all the details himself. He'd been concentrating on other aspects during his research. Perhaps he'd look it up after all this. Danny nodded at that, squeezing Nicholas's hand, and leaning in to kiss him again. It was comforting, kissing for a moment, as they took in each other's presence.

"Well," Danny broke the silence after a bit, staring at Nicholas. "I suppose I can see the appeal." He smirked, looking him up and down, "I think you'd look nice as a woman."

Nicholas knew it wasn't his fault; Danny didn't know anything, and therefore he couldn't know how horribly that sentence hit him, or the nausea that welled up in him. But Nicholas didn't stay for a second movie, claiming tiredness, and a surplus of work which didn't exist.

~~~

The next movie would be a little more challenging, but at least it was easier to convince Danny to watch.

"This one has Patrick Swayze in it."

"Yeah?" Danny's eyes widened, excited. "Same sort of film as the others?"

"Yes, it is," Nicholas nodded as he put in the disc. Danny was thoughtful for a moment.

"Point Break?" Nicholas choked on a laugh.

"Not exactly." He recalled Danny's first, excited description of the movie, back Nicholas's first days in Sandford. ''Cause he loves him so much!'

As he made his way to the couch, Nicholas, still humoring a smile, realized that Danny may have been concentrating on the wrong themes during these movies. Sure enough, they'd all involved some manner of homosexual relationship in their own ways, but it seemed as though he thought that that was why Nicholas was showing them to him in the first place. Well, this one would certainly prove otherwise. It was also the last he'd be showing Danny before Nicholas would tell him the real reason that he'd shown him the films.

Danny didn't do more than raise an eyebrow at his movie hero dressing up, transforming from Patrick Swayze to Miss Vida (not that he knew her name just yet.)

"Is he a female impersonator, too?" Danny asked him after the dual winners were announced.

"She," Nicholas corrected automatically.

"I think Patrick Swayze is a bloke, Nicholas," Danny sounded amused, but Nicholas stayed firm.

"The character he's playing is a woman. She's transsexual. She may have a male body, but on the inside, she's a woman." Nicholas was proud to say his voice didn't shake at all. Danny didn't react much.

"Okay," he slowly shook his head. And that seemed to be that. He simply watched the rest of the movie as usual. He was silent, yet sad, at the scene where they passed her childhood home. But he did smile at the triumphs, loudly protest against the officer, show interest in the conversation about movie stars, and seemed confident at ChiChi's potential romance... which then went nowhere. He was slightly confused for the rest of the film, but carried on with his reactions, which was something of a comfort to Nicholas's heart, racing with nerves.

"It weren't bad," Danny smiled a bit awkwardly at him once it was over. "Wouldn't add it to my collection or nothing, but it weren't bad." There was a pause. "Er, this one was a bit different from the others, yeah?" Nicholas just nodded silently, and Danny went in for a kiss, but Nicholas pulled back, and Danny looked slightly hurt. This was it. Nicholas steeled himself.

"Danny, we need to talk." Danny's face fell even more, and Nicholas had truly changed since moving to Sandford, because he stopped, and attempted to process why he was- Oh. "It's, um, nothing bad?" He hazarded, because it wasn't, but it wasn't necessarily something that would be looked upon favorably. It eased Danny, a little, and he didn't look so devastated anymore, but he did look nervous. Well, nothing for it. He'd have to just come out with it.

"I'm transsexual." He held his breath, every muscle in his body tense. Danny had one of his thinking faces on, which was a positive sign, he thought, and Nicholas dared get his hopes up.

"So," Danny started slowly, "you're a woman, then?" And everything all came crashing down as Nicholas physically deflated.

"No." He practically snapped at Danny, who frowned.

"Well there's no need to be cross with me!" Danny was being defensive, but Nicholas didn't care, because he hurt. "That's what you just told me it was!" Danny frowned, and Nicholas paused to process that, and realized that Danny hadn't been saying what Nicholas had thought he was. He wasn't denying Nicholas being a man at all! Danny was simply going based on the exact definition that Nicholas had said earlier during the movie. And Danny only knew him as a man. "Just because you gave me the wrong definition, doesn't mean you have to treat me like I'm thick!" Danny was getting angry, and Nicholas guiltily remembered that night in the rain after Tim Messenger's murder. He frowned, and calmed himself.

"You're right." Which threw Danny off, blinking off some of the rage that he had built up. "I didn't mean to imply-" Nicholas shook his head. "I think I need to explain it a little more."

"Alright," Danny settled back, still frowning, but with much less heat in it, and crossed his arms.

"I did tell you that was the definition, but that's the definition for someone like Miss Vida." He breathed in. "But sometimes, it means the opposite of Miss Vida." Danny hesitated.

"I don't think I understand," he said, looking at Nicholas slightly askew, like he was expecting to be told off. But Nicholas was just thinking.

"No... perhaps it might be easier if I showed you what I meant, then."

"What?" Danny frowned harder, more confused, but Nicholas was already unbuttoning his shirt. "What?!" His voice was higher pitched, face pink, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw the scars. Danny breathed out. "Nicholas..." He reached his hand out as if to touch them, before he realized himself, and pulled back slightly. "Er, can I?" He looked at Nicholas, who nodded.

"Yeah. It's okay," Nicholas said softly. He was tense in another manner now, fully aware of how intimate this was in so many ways.

"What happened?" Danny asked, hero worship in his voice as he slid his finger lightly across Nicholas's chest, tracing the scars. "Someone come at you when you weren't wearing your vest?" Nicholas's ears were starting to burn, but he pressed on.

"No, this was something intentional." Danny looked up sharply, finger pausing in its track, eyes wide. "I had surgery, in other words." Danny frowned, staring back at his chest, rubbing the scar once more, before looking back at Nicholas, which seemed to trigger the realization of what he was doing. He blushed and sat back again. "Just as Miss Vida was born in a man's body, I was born in a woman's." Danny's eyes really widened then.

"So, the stab marks- the, surgery?" Danny stumbled and Nicholas nodded. "You, had tits?" Danny's mouth quirked up. Nicholas scoffed.

"I wasn't born in the right body, the surgery was something I did to fix it. To make myself happy." He stared at Danny pointedly. "As a man."

"Yeah, right, sorry." Danny became serious again, thoughtful. "So. You weren't born a man, but you are now? And you had surgery to make you one?" Nicholas sighed.

"More or less. Your terminology needs some work," Danny had the decency to look chastised at that, at least, "but I, think you've got it. More or less." Nicholas smiled lightly at him.

"Um." Danny shifted in his seat. "So, are you still, that is..." Nicholas was prepared for another ignorant comment about his anatomy, and so he was shocked when what came out was a very nervous, "Do you still want to be with me?" Nicholas's face crumpled, and he felt his heart beat, thumping as though it were trying to reach Danny by itself.

"Of course I do," Nicholas told him, aching to take his hands. "But, that's rather up to you, I think." Danny lit up, and looked like he was going to immediately say yes, but Nicholas interrupted, hushed. "Before you answer...dating me is going to be different, in a lot of ways, than anyone else you've ever dated, you know." And then Danny burst out laughing at him. Nicholas frowned. "Did I say something funny?"

"Sorry, Nicholas," Danny calmed down after a moment, wiping a tear from his eye, "but, well, how much dating experience do you think I have?" Nicholas's frown melted away, and he gave a chuckle. "I mean, I've fooled around a few times, yeah, but I ain't never been in a proper relationship, not like this," and Danny grabbed his hand, Nicholas squeezing back gratefully. "Not even that month in school when I was with a girl from class." He grinned, "no need to be jealous, though. We stopped seeing each other after about two weeks of not talking. She's married with three kids up in Birmingham now."

Danny's good-natured smile turned into something a little deeper. "Besides, can't imagine much of anything that'd make me give up my own personal action hero." He batted his eyelashes, but Nicholas just scoffed.

"Oh, please," he would have waved it away, but he was quite enjoying holding his hand. "You're your own personal action hero."

"Maybe," Danny shrugged, expression turning a little wicked, "but it's certainly better fantasies when I've got you in them with me."

It was a good thing Nicholas hadn't been drinking anything; he choked on the nothing in his throat as it was. Danny lightly slapped him on the back a few times as he considered something. "Hey, you can't get pregnant, can you?" Nicholas gave him a look.

"No," he said flatly.

"Was just asking!" He tilted his head at Nicholas. "Is, er, this whole...transsexual thing," Nicholas raised an eyebrow, "is that why you been so insistent on waiting to do anything more than snogging?" His hand had gone to rubbing his back now, the hand still holding Nicholas's subconsciously mirroring it, fingers tickling his own. Nicholas's face was hot now.

"Er, yes. Sorry."

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I really don't mind waiting. Really!" Danny held up the hand at his back in defense, to show Nicholas that he meant it. "It's just," he let it fall back where it was, fingers trailing up and down, as far as he could reach. "That, combined with how you've been so distracted when we do, and sort of pulling away from it, I just." Danny shrugged, no longer looking at him. "Was getting to think you weren't keen on me anymore."

"Is that why you thought I wanted to break up with you?" Nicholas felt terrible, and even worse as Danny gave another non-commital shrug, which he knew meant yes. Nicholas broke contact with his hand, only to fiercely put his arms around Danny's neck as he leaned over towards him. Nicholas felt he would have leapt at him had he had the room. Danny jolted slightly, clearly not expecting the movement or the force behind it. "Danny, I'm s-"

"Now, now, none of that." He was smiling at Nicholas so tenderly, Nicholas felt nearly all of his worries melt away. "But, well, that's why I got all, er..."

"Self-conscious?" Nicholas offered.

"Yeah." Danny flashed a grateful smile his way before becoming shy again. "I remember how nervous I was around you when I was considering that I might be a bender. Er, into blokes, I mean," he corrected without any input from Nicholas. "Here I was all my life, not realizing that I'd ever find blokes attractive."

"... but?"

"That, too," Danny said with a smug look. Nicholas choked again.

"You have to stop taking me off guard like that," Nicholas's attempt at being firm was completely undermined by his blushing.

"I like it, though" Danny argued back with a playful whine. "I like you." He placed a hand on Nicholas's again, and looked into his eyes. "Whatever this means, being transsexual, I'll be fine with it, 'cos it's you. I'll learn the proper terms, and how to act, and how to be with you, because that's what I want, and I can't imagine that anything you could tell me or show me about this could change my mind." Nicholas may have been biased, but he knew he'd feel the same about Danny if their positions were reversed. "We'll both help each other. You and me. Together." And Nicholas believed him.

"Partners." His stomach swooped, embarrassingly giddy at still being partners, and he maneuvered his hand so it was holding Danny's hand properly.

"And, you'll let me know when I say something wrong?" Danny asked, imploring him, which only served to melt Nicholas further.

"Alright," Nicholas agreed.

"You'll have to teach me proper protocol, official vocabulary, and all that."

"Yeah," Nicholas smiled softly.

"And everything else. I want to know everything, so I can be a proper gentleman about it."

"Of course," his smile widened.

Danny stared at his mouth with a familiar look, and Nicholas made as though to button up his shirt so that he could lean over and kiss him.

"Er!" Danny, interrupted as Nicholas's hands were close to doing up the bottom button. "Do you have to?" He asked with a sheepish smile. "I mean, now that I've already seen, there's no rush to cover up again, is there?" Nicholas considered the idea. "I could toss my shirt, too!"

"Well," Nicholas was definitely not averse, but he was starting to think a few steps ahead of Danny. "Maybe we should put them in the hamper." Danny's forehead creased in utter confusion. "You know, the one in your bedroom?"

"Why d'you wanna go and do that-" and then he got it. "Oh." He looked much like he had when Nicholas had finally given him his peace lily, in hospital. "You're sure?" Nicholas nodded, smiling. He was still nervous, but not the same type of nervous he'd been before. They leaned in to kiss each other, and it quickly became something passionate and intense, before Danny broke it off with an excited cry. "Oh! Hey, that's why you wasn't hard any of the other times we were snogging!" He cried out, proud of himself for having worked that out. Nicholas groaned, head hitting Danny's chest only half as frustrated as he was acting. It was all worth it to be able to be his true self with Danny.

-----

I have two more chapter ideas for this, but pretty much leaving this verse open for inspiration.

[bilgisticallykosher]

The Transient Property A

Transference

Masterpost | Ao3 link

Welcome to trans man Nicholas Angel! Before you go on! I couldn't choose between two options of their relationship status, so I did both. This chapter is where they're not together when Nicholas comes out to Danny, and the next chapter is where they're already in a relationship when he comes out. There's a lot of similarities, but hopefully different enough that you could enjoy them both. But if not, choose your own adventure! And here's a chapter after that one!

Summary: Nicholas has something to tell Danny, so he decides to use the language of cinema to help him along.

Movies in order: To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar; Victor/Victoria; and Some Like It Hot

Word Count: 2,471

Warnings: Written by a cis woman. Accidental misgendering, vague mentions of non-specific transphobia, Nicholas uses the term transsexual.

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"Found a movie with Patrick Swayze," Nicholas said nonchalantly as he and Danny sat down on the couch for one of their movie nights. Nicholas and Danny had made an arrangement where the first movie would be something of Nicholas's choosing, with one of Danny's following, 'in case you have shit taste.' When Danny asked if he'd had anything specific in mind, Nicholas had claimed, 'just in case anything catches my eye.'

He'd been lying.

"Not Dirty Dancing, is it?" Danny scrunched up his face. Normally Nicholas would find it endearing, but if he didn't like Dirty Dancing, the likelihood that he'd enjoy the one that Nicholas had picked out was slim. And, well, technically it would mean nothing except that Danny simply didn't enjoy the movie. But, considering the topic...

"No, no. It looked quite different from that one." Because the thing about it was, Nicholas had made it seem like chance that he'd come across the film.

"Any action?" Danny perked up.

"Ah, well, it doesn't seem to be an action movie, but I believe it's got some scenes that are rather exciting," Nicholas hedged. "Er, according to the back of the case, I mean." Because the thing about it was, it had not been chance. It had been a night and a half off of spending time with Danny, Nicholas had claimed to need to catch up on paperwork. Instead, he'd been off researching movies, reading up on what was in them, and planning.

So they popped it in, and the first scene rolled, and that was very definitely Patrick Swayze getting made up as a woman.

"Uh," Danny noticed, of course. "Are you sure you looked at the cover right?" He started looking around for it near him, but Nicholas had hidden it temporarily down the side of the sofa.

"The clerk at the store said it was a good movie," Nicholas lied again. "Might as well give it a shot?" He defended weakly. Danny just raised an eyebrow, but silently turned around to watch. Not that he was silent during the movie; he still said what was on his mind, gasped and cheered during the various parts, which settled Nicholas's worry a bit. If he was getting into it...

After it was over, he turned to Nicholas.

"So, what was the whole bit with men in dresses?" Okay, he'd been ready for a reaction, but he hadn't realized Danny would be so direct. Of course he would be, though. It was Danny.

"Well. It was certainly an interesting perspective on another culture, wasn't it?"

"What, America?" Nicholas couldn't help but laugh at that. "Could've used more gun fights, or, you know, any fighting, except that bit with Vida, he was pretty cool."

"She." Nicholas corrected. He'd really done his research, and watching the movie had confirmed that to be accurate.

"Patrick Swayze is a man, Nicholas," Danny told him, amused, like Nicholas was the one confused.

"His character wasn't. She's transsexual." Because the thing was, Nicholas was also transsexual. And he was working up to telling that to Danny, his best friend, but was slightly terrified about it.

He had known when he was at a young age, which meant that he'd had plenty of time to research, and educate himself properly on the topic. He was also from a big city, which meant that he'd been exposed to a variety of other sexualities and gender identities along the way.

Danny, on the other hand, was from a small town, which had been run by a murderous cult that had killed off anyone who they'd deemed "unsavory." Nicholas was under no delusions that he'd have been safe from being categorized as such.

Of course, they'd wanted to kill him, regardless.

Danny wasn't anything like them, of course, but the fact remained he was likely very unfamiliar with the concept of, well, most things of that nature.

"That like one of them pantos, then?" Danny asked, "from the bigger cities?"

"No, that's just acting. Transsexual is, she wasn't born in the right body, but she's still a woman. Whether she's dressed as one or not." Danny paused at that, and Nicholas braced himself. And braced himself. And kept bracing.

"Yeah?" Danny eventually asked. "Alright," he accepted. And then that seemed to be that, and Danny put in an action film. Nicholas kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did.

~~~

The next day, he took another rented movie to Danny's.

"Is that Julie Andrews?!" The movie played on with Danny laughing at a lot of the scenes, but also getting a little contemplative at others. He seemed to look at Nicholas with a certain look in his eyes every so often. Nicholas couldn't quite decipher the pattern. But just as with the previous movie, he waited until the end to really talk.

He turned to Nicholas. "Didn't think so at the beginning, but it was sort of hard to recognize, er..." He trailed off, looking at Nicholas for help. Nicholas's eyebrows knit together in confusion for a moment to figure out what he was asking- Oh.

"This one's a little trickier. I think her is fine." Danny nodded. Nicholas had been right in what he thought he'd been asking. His heart warmed a little. Danny was trying to be respectful, learning, and even that little bit was leagues above what the worst case scenario was.

"Right. Hard to recognize her in that tuxedo, though." Danny continued, as though he weren't turning Nicholas's world on its head so simply. "It's interesting. Never thought about girls dressing up like that." He considered, "never saw pantos, much, but this one feels more like it, yeah?"

"Yeah," Nicholas had to agree, stomach giving a flip. Tomorrow, he'd tell him. For sure.

~~~

By the third movie, Nicholas had gained confidence. Tonight was the night. He'd decided, and he wasn't going to back down.

Danny was definitely more excited about this one. He'd expressed his distinct pleasure at the gunfire scenes, grinning, and shouting, and making shooting noises along with the ones on screen. He'd laughed along, too, and seemed in a considerable good mood. And then the very last line of the movie hit, and where he'd expected more laughter, Danny was oddly silent, but with a very distinct grin on his face that Nicholas hadn't really seen before, but faded before he could really analyze it too much.

"So, these two in the movie. Were they, er, also women?" Danny jabbed his thumb in the direction of the television.

"No," Nicholas shook his head, "they'd be closer to transvestites. More along the lines of last night's." He thought for a moment. "Although, honestly, this might be closer to pantomimes, as both of them were only dressed as women to save their lives, not because of some inner desire." Danny nodded along, grin slowly creeping up on his face again.

"So, definitely a bloke, then, at the end?" He asked Nicholas.

"Yes," Nicholas wondered why he was specifying, or asking at all.

"And that man still proposed to him? Even though they're both men?" His eyebrows were raised and his grin widened with that something unreadable in his eyes.

Nicholas had been so concerned about potential transphobia, he hadn't even considered that he might have an issue with two men together. Which, considering the circumstances, was quite unfortunate, but he could deal with that later.

"Um. Yes." Well, Nicholas supposed he might as well get it over with now before it got too sidetracked, or Nicholas backed out. "Danny, there's something I have to tell you."

"Yeeeeeessss?" He leaned in towards him with that same face. Nicholas recoiled back from it, confused and a little concerned.

"Could you. Stop whatever that is?" He raised his hands defensively. "It's rather serious."

"Alright," Danny settled back down. "I'll be good," although he was still smiling. Nicholas exhaled.

"I'm transsexual." There. He'd done it. He was watching Danny's face carefully, of course, so he saw the smile slowly give way to something frowning and confused.

"So," Danny asked after a bit, "you're a woman?"

"No." Nicholas tried to keep the hurt down. Danny was ignorant, he reminded himself. He wasn't doing it intentionally to hurt him, like some other people he'd known.

"Oh, but I thought..." He squinted. "So is that the one with the dressing up, then?" Now Nicholas was the one confused.

"No, that's transvestite, I said transsexual."

"Well yeah, but you said that was when, when a woman was in the wrong body? But was still a woman, right?" And now Nicholas understood, and he couldn't help the laugh that burst out of him, relieved. He had just repeated what Nicholas had defined the other night! He hadn't known there was another way!

"Hey, I'm trying, alright!" Danny bristled.

"No, no, I know," Nicholas waved a hand dismissively, through the last of his laughter. "I suppose I need to explain it a bit more thoroughly." And Danny settled down and nodded, waiting. "I was also born in the wrong body. But instead of being a woman despite it, I'm a man despite it."

"... I don't understand. That's the opposite of what you said it was, wasn't it?" Well, not quite but he was still learning. Nicholas was starting to think that this wasn't the way to go about it. He sighed.

"Maybe there's a better way. Hold on. Let me show you." And Nicholas started unbuttoning his shirt. He'd done it often enough at the station, but he'd always made sure to face his locker, to cover up his chest quickly. He was nervous, but Danny was trying, and this was the best way he could see to explain it. He was looking down at his buttons, so his missed Danny's gaping mouth, and flushed face, but he did pay attention again when he pulled his shirt open and Danny gasped. Now he could see Nicholas's surgery scars for himself, right under his pectorals.

"What happened?" He started reaching towards him as if to touch them, then seemed to realize and think better of it, hand coming to rest on his own leg. "You get stabbed across the chest?" His eyes sparkled in a way that was now familiar to Nicholas. "I thought you always wore your stab vest, how'd you manage that?" Danny grinned, and somehow Nicholas was unable to resist a small, answering smile of his own.

"I wasn't stabbed, Danny," he told him, amused.

"Well then what's-"

"These are from a surgery I had." Danny's face contorted into confusion again. "To remove parts of me that I was born with, but didn't want, because I'm a man." Danny still seemed a little confused, so he continued, "because when I was born, I wasn't." And something seemed to click in Danny's mind, because his eyes and mouth widened.

"Ohhh! It can work the opposite way?!" Danny gaped. "I didn't know that!" Nicholas gently patted Danny's hand once, twice.

"Well. There was really no way you would have known." Danny wiggled the hand Nicholas had touched.

"I mean I've kind of heard of it in general. In passing, from, well, you know." Yes, Nicholas did know. But Danny wasn't looking any sort of hostile or disgusted or particularly murderous so he figured he was in the clear of him sharing the opinion of the N.W.A.

"So... is there anything you have any questions about?" Nicholas asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Loads. I don't..." He shrugged. "I'm new to this. I don't even know what questions to ask, really." Which, Nicholas probably could have guessed.

"Well, if you'd like, I can give you a crash course?" Danny agreed, so Nicholas spoke. He spoke about his childhood, his parents, his family, and growing up, in between the peddle car and Kermit. He spoke about all the aspects of growing up as he did; the emotional, the medical, the physical, the social. He spoke about the negative aspects, and he spoke about the positive. Finally, when he felt he'd covered the basics, he stopped.

"Wow." He was staring at him with wide eyes. "That's amazing." He smiled a little sheepishly. "Well, I mean. It's a lot. And I probably don't half understand it all."

"But," Nicholas couldn't help himself, "you're okay with it? Everything?"

"Yeah, of course!" Danny answered immediately. Nicholas was nearly visibly relieved, half wanting to deflate into a puddle onto the couch right there. He'd give it some time, feel out how Danny acted around him now, and then start in a plan for seeing if he could perhaps take him out for dinner, not as partners in the service, but partners as something else... Then Danny kept talking. "Well," he amended, "I guess I was a little disappointed with your confession." Nicholas's heart froze, face going stern out of instinct.

"How so?"

"It's just that," he got that same strange smile from before, although he wasn't leaning in quite so closely. "I thought, the movies were, you know, a little gay, like. So I thought you was leading up to asking me out on a date or something." Nicholas's mouth dropped open and stayed there, unable to believe his ears. When he'd been planning this, he hadn't ever thought- Well, he'd wanted to lead up to it eventually, but to hear something like that as though Danny actually wanted it, too...

Danny's grin drooped slightly. "Unless... if those movies were just to lead up to this, does that mean that you're not-"

"No, no!" Nicholas unfroze in a panic. "I am! I do! I'd, yes, I'd really like that." And now it was Nicholas's turn to stare bright-eyed at Danny, as though he were in awe of him. In many ways, he was.

"Great!" And Danny was smiling now, more sincere, and when he leaned in towards Nicholas this time, it was significantly less distressingly leery. "I thought the movies were sort of you showing me, you know, gay stuff, and leading up to that last one," he gave a half of a laugh. "Then you switched topics, and I didn't think that maybe it hadn't been about them homos at all." Nicholas rolled his eyes, but didn't correct him, for once. "But I'm glad to know new stuff about you." He tentatively grabbed Nicholas's hand, and Nicholas immediately squeezed back. Danny grinned wider. "I know you'll help me out with what I should do, and what you want. I'm just glad that what you want is me." He chuckled. "I was a little nervous that you wouldn't be interested." Nicholas huffed out a laugh.

"So was I," he leaned in to meet Danny, and at the same time, they moved in to share a kiss. It was just a light peck, but it was perfect.

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I have two more chapter ideas for this, but pretty much leaving this verse open for inspiration.