Diabetes is wrecking my life. I've been on so many different meds, and after a few months they just stop working. I'm about ready to give up. Idk what to do anymore. I'm too unhealthy to work out. I always have horrible headaches.. 😭😭😭
Let me tell you a story.
Flash back to April, 2011. I was 22.
For a few weeks I was going to the bathroom so much that it affected my job. I couldn’t sit at a desk for more than 30 minutes without having to get up and go to the bathroom. My mouth was dry all the time, so much so I wouldn’t dare to not have a water bottle with me at all times. One night, I woke up with cramps in both of my legs and felt the worst pain I ever felt. All up and down my legs. Shortly after that, I started to not be able to see far. I thought hey, maybe I need glasses. Then I started to fall asleep on the drive home from work, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. Once my vision was affected, I got scared. I was 22 at the time, and I lived with my parents. I walked into the kitchen close to midnight one night and told them I think something’s wrong. My mom drove me to the hospital right then and there because I said I was going to go the next day, but she insisted we go right then.
When I was in the hospital when I was kept there for 3 days, 2 nights, and I was pricked and prodded every hour on the hour. I couldn’t sleep. I was alone. It was freezing, and spoke to 6 different people about things I didn’t understand. I was told I’d have to take shots for the rest of my life and there was no cure. I was instructed on how to test my blood, I was given an orange lunchbox with supplies, and I was told I could leave on day 3. May 8th, 2011. It was Mother’s Day.
When I left the hospital I was hungry, but I didn’t want to eat because that meant taking a shot by myself, and 72 hours ago I was “normal”. Two weeks prior, I was completely “normal”.
I struggled for a while.
I’d hide in bathrooms to take shots. Every time I had to take a shot it’d take me forever because I couldn’t find enough body fat. Shots sting and hurt, they’ve leave marks. I felt like an outcast. I didn’t know any other diabetics. I kept everything in my head. I thought I had no one to talk to.
Then one day, I scrolled through the tumblr tag for type 1 diabetes, and saw just how many other people were feeling the EXACT same way.
By going to my endocrinologist I found out I could try a pump. I was hesitant, but when I made the jump it changed my life.
I learned more about what my body reacts to and how I can beat this thing, even if the battle is everyday.
Fast forward to almost 5 years later from the beginning and we’re here.
It’s 2016, and I’m 27. I’ve been on road trips where I’ve driven over 12 hours by myself. I’ve traveled to other countries. I moved from shots to a pump, and during the time I’ve had it, it’s gotten smaller! I have two dogs and a cat and now live with my girlfriend of a over a year. I can dunk a basketball better than ever. I run for the fun of it. I started this blog and now have the privilege to share my thoughts with over 2,400 people who are just like me.
I had no idea that I’d be where I am at today. I got here the same way you’re going to get to your happiness, and that’s by taking one step at a time. I wish I had a time machine to give you, even if it was to only show you where you will be. You WILL get to where you’re happy and free. You won’t feel like diabetes is wrecking your life. You will feel in control, happy, and you will be telling your story to someone else who is struggling.
I don’t know your story, but I know things can seem like there is no getting better. I wanted to tell you my story because I want you to KNOW that things can be GREAT. Maybe not right now, maybe not in an hour, or even a day, but things will get better.
Take things one step at a time. Talk to your family. Seek and ASK for help when you need it. Take the time you need to get your life where you want it. So many people love you, so many people are there to help, you just have to raise your hand and make your voice be heard. I know that’s not easy either, because I never ever wanted to ask for help, but I had to. Take it one. step. at. a. time.
You’re not going to be fine, you’re going to be great. :)
