God, everybody, put down your phones and live your life! Go back to the good ol' days where we didn't have smartphones or Internet, and nobody knew what things like social anxiety disorder were, or how depression worked, and you would just be considered some weirdo loner who stayed home or ignored everyone anyway and had no friends because the small number of people within your geological boundaries shared none of your interests!
Stop living your life on the Internet where you've managed to cobble together a vast worldwide network of people who connect with you in a way nobody physically around you can, and start awkwardly avoiding eye contact with strangers again!
You're all just addicts, desperately searching for your next fix of communicating with people you actually want to instead of trying to ignore that guy at the bus stop who wants to tell everyone around him about how he wants to kill his neighbor's dog with a BB gun.
I wrote to a company recently with annoyance at some poor design of one of their features. It seemed badly organized and didn’t make it easy for me to find what I needed, so I suggested a better solution.
The response I received was friendly, but noted that I had actually missed a feature that provided exactly what I needed. I dug back in, and while I swear that it hadn’t loaded the previous times I had tried it, sure enough, there was exactly such a feature as I had asked for, and better. Feeling sheepish, I wrote back, explained that, and thanked them for their help.
Today I got the following response:
Hello Jarrett,
As it turns out, you are not the only one who has made this error, but you are the only one to show a bit of humility by emailing back LOL.
Thanks and have a good day
Own up to your stupidity. People appreciate fellow humans being human. It makes us all feel better about ourselves. We make mistakes. Accept them, apologize for them, and be the better person. We all win a little.
[UPDATED 9/30/15 - Resolved!] Motorola Support - The Return
I didn’t expect to be back here so soon after my last post about Motorola’s support, but I have much to share.
Motorola’s a company I don’t want to dump on. Quite the opposite. It’s funny how a company that owns so many mobile patents and was the king of mobile for so very long is now the plucky underdog, but they are, and what they’ve done with their phones and personality and functionality and pricing and embracing of stock Android with only GENUINELY useful additions needs to be lauded. They’re a company I want to love. Heck, they’re a company I *do* love. Just... not in an area that counts really, really strongly: support.
I imagine if your device never has a problem, Motorola’s still your company, hands down. But once there’s a glitch in the matrix, you’re in for trouble.
Recently I went through the trying ordeal of my Nexus 6′s screen breaking due to a vacation accident. It was left functional, but shattered, along with a small piece of my heart.
It’s a truly fantastic phone. Luckily I had insurance through my credit card, and it turns out that Motorola has a fantastic solution in place to replace your phone for $175 flat under these circumstances. They’ll repair it when they get their hands on it, but you get a “new” (refurbished) one in its place. And for $24.99 (sort of; more to come), they’ll send you the replacement first, much like with the warranty program I detailed in my previous post on the Moto 360.
And initiating this process was actually quite easy. Much better than my 360 experience, as I was able to do ALL of it online via their website without ever speaking to a human. It was all arranged easily, I received an emailed estimate (although there was no reason to think the amount would change) of $175, a $500 hold, a hold of the tax for the entire amount, and a $24.99 charge for the premium advance exchange fee. A few days later I received the phone. And that’s where my woes began.
Much like last time, their automated system doesn’t understand shipping time, to a more dramatic degree. This time I received a sternly-worded email complaining that they still hadn’t received my original phone back BEFORE the replacement had even arrived (it arrived the afternoon of the email). Way to make me feel like I’ve somehow screwed up when I have yet to even receive the replacement and the box via which I’m supposed to ship back the original. Fail.
Later that day, though, I got the package, and the unit I received seemed to be in good shape overall. The SIM door was badly scratched around the pin hole, from the previous owner clearly trying WAY too hard and too long to get a full-size paperclip into it, but I swapped it with my flawless one before returning it. I did notice some serious smudges on the top-left corner of the screen, but when I wiped them they seemed to go away. Everything else was golden.
My usage of the phone wasn’t heavy for the first week, but in the second week as I began using it for more landscape tasks, I began to notice that smudge returning over and over again. Once I finally reviewed it carefully, I realized it was a large patch of well-worn scratches. The kind that, on Gorilla Glass, only develops with extended, repeated exposure to a hard, sharp object in one area over a long period of time. Such as keys in the same pocket as the phone that land in the same spot every time.
I keep my keys and all other scratchy objects in a different pocket. As well, in the six months I’d owned its predecessor, I hadn’t developed a single scratch. This had clearly arrived this way. Apparently it was JUST shallow enough, though, that my skin oils could fill in the scratches well enough for them to “disappear” until it evaporated, which is how I had tricked myself over the span of a couple of weeks into thinking it wasn’t there.
By this point, as well, my original phone (after at least one more warning email that arrived before they could possibly expect my original back) had reached them, been reviewed and processed, and my credit card charged. It was charged $190.75 and $24.00 (not $24.99). I awaited my invoice/receipt, which my insurance company needed to pay out the claim, but there was nothing in my email and nothing on my account on the website.
Oh, and speaking of that website: they have a FANTASTIC, easy-to-navigate, fast website. For purchases. For support... well, it still LOOKS good, but it performs like a dead cat swimming through a muddy bog. That is to say, it barely works. Logging into it at all, using my Google+ credentials, can take minutes. And usually the end result is it just fails with an error message and won’t log me in. Every single page takes a bare minimum of 30 seconds to load, and sometimes well more. It’s a grueling process that kills my workflow.
Anyway, I finally decided to reach out to their chat support about the lack of an invoice. They took so long to be able to help that I was eventually called away, and the chat ended. But they emailed me to let me know the ticket was still open and called me the next day. So points for that.
I explained my issues, first the invoice, and then the scratched screen, and then I was transferred to another department. Within seconds of being greeted by the new department, I was disconnected, following the EXACT same pattern as nine months earlier when dealing with their phone support. And once again, nobody bothered to call me back.
I replied to the email, and eventually got someone to call me again. At which point I was transferred again. At which point I was disconnected again in the same manner. I reported this to them on Twitter, which they said they’d look into. Just as occurred nine months ago.
Finally I got someone to have the exact correct department call me. I had my issue read out to me, and was told that someone had offered me a brand new phone, which I had declined. No such offer had been made, as nobody qualified to make such an offer had ever spoken more than, “hello, my name is...” to me before I was disconnected. I explained that I didn’t even expect a NEW phone. Just an unscratched one, since I paid for a full repair and my previous one had been perfect until the break. After some discussion, he told me he’d need to consult with a supervisor on how to continue and would email me. We also discussed the invoice, and he said he would email me the information.
Later that day, I received a ticket update. Written in the ticket was little more than the reiteration of the original ESTIMATE for my repairs, and clearly stated as an estimate. No final costs, no breakdown of the tax that resulted in $190.75 over $175, no explanation of the $24.00 charge instead of $24.99, and nothing that indicated that this is what was charged to my card. Certainly nothing an insurance company wouldn't happily deny, and nothing I could match to my credit card statement as proof. Also included was a request for photos of the scratches.
I wrote back, providing the best photos I could take considering the phone IS my only good camera, and a demand for an ACTUAL receipt for the charges I was given.
And then I waited about two weeks. I replied to the ticket a couple of times to inquire about status, but heard absolutely nothing. The clock was ticking on my insurance claim, and I was getting nowhere.
Finally I tweeted them, and they responded within 24 hours with an email address to contact to get help from their social media response team. I emailed, gave my ticket info and a brief explanation, and heard back within about 24 hours with real progress.
I was provided a letter written by their support department, both explaining that they don't actually PROVIDE invoices (seriously; who doesn’t provide an invoice for services rendered?), and detailing the estimate, the holds on my card, and the final charges applied. As silly as it may be that they couldn’t just give me an invoice, it was still good enough, which my insurance company has since confirmed.
I was also offered a replacement phone. They would just need to call me to collect my credit card number to place another hold for the value, and charge me another $24.99 for an advance exchange.
Wait... what? But I already paid that for the first one. All they’re doing now is replacing THEIR defective device. Why would I pay that again?
Apparently their computer system is incapable of waiving this fee. If they provide the service, which I need since it’s my only functional phone, it will be charged. That’s it. No return or credit options, no waiving. What I WAS offered was any accessory from their site for free, up to $50. I was told to review the site, then email back what I wanted.
I don’t need any accessories. I really don’t. I might WANT one, but not as much as I want to retain my $25 I shouldn’t have to spend.
Still, I reviewed their catalog and was depressed by my options. They had ZERO Nexus 6-specific accessories, so I couldn’t get a case which was starting to seem like a better and better idea. Everything of actual value was well over $50. That left me with earbuds I DEFINITELY don’t need, Motorola Keylink which mostly duplicates functionality my watch already provides, and a Chromecast which I already have enough of. The only accessory I liked and could use was the Moto Surround, which sells for $20 more than their limit.
In the meantime I got the call for my card info to order the replacement, which was handled smoothly enough.
Then, after considering it, I got bold and simply emailed and asked for the Surround headset. I did offer to pay the extra $20, but I explained that nothing else they had was of value to me. A few days later, Liz (my new email support buddy) gave me the good news that she’d gotten it approved for me. Liz was the single bright spot in this entire process (so far), and deserves the credit. Even if she had to be the bearer of bad news, she still got things done that nobody else had. I was finally feeling better.
And then yesterday the replacement arrived. Several hours, of course, after the new nastygram asking why they hadn’t yet received my original phone.
When I opened the envelope, I found it like this:
If you can’t tell, the blue box is what the phone is normally protected in AROUND the bubble wrap. The bubble-wrapped phone, though, was loose. Eh... not the end of the world.
I examined the phone, and then found this:
Getting nit-picky, and totally willing to live with this, but the plastic LED ring is scratched (top-left), and the bottom looks like it has pry marks on it (hard to make out in the photo). *sigh*. At least the screen isn’t scratched.
Then I wiped off the back of the phone, which picks up fingerprints like no tomorrow, and found this:
Whatever sticker had been on there at one time had left permanent wear in the back of the phone. It looks awful. Granted, I plan to cover this with a dBrand sticker because the blue back is as slippery as a dead cat swimming through a muddy bog, but it’s not a great way to send it to me.
But I waded through all of that and decided to just use the damn phone and accept that this was the tradeoff of all this work getting a scratch-free phone. So I booted it up, enabled developer mode, and then went to put it in bootloader mode so I could unlock it. Except... it wouldn’t enter that mode. No matter what I did. And then figured out why:
Turns out the volume down key is as limp and lifeless as a dead cat swimming through a muddy bog. It does nothing. Doesn’t even pop back out on its own. Useless.
I emailed back Liz to let her know the bad news, and now I wait.
This is a story in progress. Motorola may well redeem themselves shortly. But as of right now, their overall support department, minus Liz, is on my shit list. They join HP, Dell, and a couple of others on the list of companies I simply cannot trust the moment something goes wrong. And that makes me so deeply sad.
UPDATE 8/24/15:
Well, it’s been six days since I emailed Liz and sadly, I’ve heard nothing. I emailed again three days later to make sure there wasn’t a problem, maybe with my attachments, and I heard nothing. Yesterday I emailed the original ticket. Still nothing.
Today I got another automated message demanding my original phone back, with a warning that this was my final notice before my card would be charged the full amount. Fantastic.
So I called the support number listed, chose the mobile phone department, Nexus 6, and Support, and was instantly disconnected. Familiar?
I called back and this time got to hold before reaching a support representative. He spent quite some time reviewing the case and the photos before coming back and asking me about the black spot on the screen of the phone.
What black spot on the screen of the phone? What photo is he looking at? None of my photos included the screen of the phone. Not a single one.
After some questioning, I finally confirmed he meant the CAMERA LENS, although he kept calling it the “screen,” and he was referring to the small notch in the LED flash plastic, a perfectly-formed notch that exists on EVERY SINGLE NEXUS 6. I explained this to him, and he reconfirmed with me that I received the replacement that way. Yes, of course I did. As I did with the previous replacement, and the one before that. Because it isn’t the problem with my phone.
Finally he reconfirmed that the volume key was my problem, which I confirmed was my PRIMARY problem, and he told me he would transfer me to the appropriate department to handle.
Luckily my call was not disconnected this time. The new technician I reached seemed to understand the problem, although with a lot of clarifying questions to differentiate it between the other phones. He confirmed that the RMA is still open, so I don’t need to worry about being charged. However he was heavily slowed down by their system working very slowly (a problem stated by the prior technician as well, and one VERY familiar to me). Still, with time, he was able to issue me another RMA, and reassure me that I can disregard all emails I get warning me about being charged, and that even if something goes wrong and I am charged, they will reverse the charges as their records are quite clear and they are committed to resolving this issue for me.
We finished up with some clear instructions on which shipping labels to use, and which not to (I appreciated his effort to be so clear, as while I understood how using the original label would close out my RMA automatically and complicate things, it could easily confuse most people), and he gave me the direct number of the repair escalation team to avoid tier 1 (888-355-8422 for record, as I know how hard it is to find these). And now I wait for that shipping label to hit my email and to see how this new attempt goes.
UPDATE 9/3/15:
I just received an automated email from Motorola informing me that since they haven’t received my original phone (phone #2 with the scratched screen) back, my card has now been charged the full amount of my security deposit plus all applicable taxes. I called in and after a long hold I was told that that’s an automated email, but on their end it’s still a hold on my card and nothing has or will be charged until this matter is resolved. Sounds similar to the fact that their automated email system is incapable of understanding that they can’t receive my phone back before the first one has even arrived. That system needs some serious work.
UPDATE 9/7/15:
I just checked my credit card statement. Despite promises to the contrary, the charge was, indeed, put through on my card for $545. I *was* told by the phone representative that in the very unlikely event that that occurred, I could simply provide them a copy of my credit card statement and they would refund the charge. We shall see.
UPDATE 9/11/15:
My newest replacement has finally arrived. This time it was properly packed, and once opened it appears as flawless as one can reasonably expect, certainly more so than either of the previous replacement. I’ve successfully unlocked it, and I’m about to flash the latest updated version of Android to it to ensure everything is functional. After that I’ll be calling Motorola to find out how I’m supposed to handle sending my second (of four) phones back now that they’ve closed the original ticket and charged my card. Also, how I can get them to reverse said charge on my card.
UPDATE 9/11/15 2:
Just spoke to a rep. He went through some confusion due to the way in which the RMAs had been closed and shipments criss-crossed, but at least he knew what he was talking about, and what I was talking about, and seemed confident and professional. He’s emailing me yet another FedEx label, since the original is now expired, and with that I can ship back my semi-original phone (#2). I’ve been instructed that once I’ve confirmed via tracking that they’ve received that phone, I can call them again and have them escalate the issue to the billing department to have them credit back my card, which takes 5-7 days. Hopefully that’s within my credit card company’s grace period so I don’t accrue finance charges on this ridiculousness.
Also, coincidentally WHILE I was on the phone with him, I got an automated email asking for feedback on my support experience. Not sure if it’s for this or the Moto 360 I just had replaced as well (that went smoothly, probably because I never had to communicate with a human), but if for this, I’ll probably need to link to this blog again like I did the last time, as their comment field is entirely too short.
UPDATE 9/18/15:
FedEx reports that the most recent phone I returned has been delivered. Per my last set of instructions, I’ve called in to their escalated support department to now ask them to credit back the $545 charge they’ve put on my credit card. After the usual amount of time and confusion, I was told that the issue had been escalated to their financial department, and that they would remove the “hold” and I would see the funds available within 4-5 business days. I reiterated that this is NOT a hold, but a full-on charge. He acted a bit confused, but said he would note that down, collected the exact figure from me that had been charged, and said it would all be escalated to the financial department. So if I haven’t seen a credit by 9/25/15, I’ll obviously be calling back. This better get resolved soon. My credit score dropped two points, which CreditKarma directly attributes to this balance. And since I’m trying to get approved for an apartment right now, and my credit is poor, I really can’t afford that.
UPDATE 9/25/15:
As I’m sure you’re all SHOCKED to hear, no credit has yet to be applied to my card. So once again I’ve had to call Motorola to find out the status of the credit. After a long hold as the representative consulted financing, he said he’d have to call me back as he was trying to make sure he got all the information correct. Before ending the call, he asked me how many phones I currently have in my possession, to which I obviously answered “one,” which seemed to satisfy him.
But want to hear something extra funny as I await his return call?
The volume down key is starting to get mushy on my newest phone, just like the one it replaced.
UPDATE 9/25/15 2:
George just called back and apologized for the long wait. He involved his supervisor and explained that they found that the records had never beeen fully updated after they received back the previous phone, so the issue wasn’t properly closed. He claims it has been now, has been escalated to the appropriate department, and my credit will arrive in 2-4 business days.
And now I wait again.
UPDATE 9/30/15:
I received an update to my ticket on 9/27 informing me that they had begun the process of refunding my charges and that I’d be notified when the credit had actually been sent.
Today I decided to check my credit card balance for unrelated reasons and found that, finally, the credit of $545 had come through.
In a surprise turn of events, they also credited back the $24 fee they charged for me advance exchanging the scratched phone they originally sent me, which was always an absurd idea to begin with. Remember, their solution for that was to offer me any accessory up to $50 from their site, and eventually sent me the $70 Moto Surround (which I’ve been mostly very happy with so far).
So while their entire process, handling, time, and stress was exceptionally excessive, in the end, the trouble is resolved, and for the most part they’ve ensured I ended up in better shape than I started.
Now to see what happens when I’m ready to address the new volume key issues...
"Oh, jeez, I didn't know it was THAT lion. Now I feel bad!"
"Oh, jeez, I didn't know I cut YOU off in traffic and shouted 'drive faster, asshole!' I feel bad now that I know it was my boss."
The fact that it was legal, and you didn't know it was a lion anyone would give a shit about doesn't make your actions not abhorrent. All that's changed is that people have enough of a personal connection to THIS lion to finally drive home how fucking heinous you and your "sport" are.
And lots of shit that's horrible is legal in other countries. That's part of why you have to go to other countries to do those things. Legality on foreign soil is not a defense.
This reaction isn't a witch hunt. It's a collective response to you finally boiling over the pot. You're the example, and you're getting hit with everything you should have gotten all along for all the other animals you mercilessly tortured for fun. What you did isn't being blown out of proportion. It was fucking wrong all along. It's merely this lion's notoriety that made people care for once. The only thing you’re a victim of is a society that coddled your depraved actions for too long.
At this point, I have to be frank. For political reasons, I've always held my tongue with hunters. It's such a well-loved American tradition, that arguing against it is just plain sacrilege. Every president has to be seen hunting during their campaign to prove that they're not anti-hunters. Every act of gun legislation has to specifically appeal to the fact that they're not trying to prevent hunting. It's apparently a vital part of our society. But fuck it:
I don't have any respect for sport hunting. None. The closest I can come, even slightly, is to people who hunt for food. I can dance around all the issues of whether or not it's necessary in modern society, although for meat-eaters it's just shifting the responsibility of the kill back to the person doing the eating so I might be able to give that a slight nod as long as we're accepting of eating meat. But killing for sport, for fun, is barbaric and cruel. And it's not sport. You outclass that animal to an absurd degree. Even the giant ones that are bigger, scarier, heavier, and with built-in weapons, because you're twice as smart, and highly-weaponized. You come up with clever ways to handicap yourself, like using a bow (that costs several thousand dollars and is the result of hundreds of years of innovation), but at the end of the day you're driving around in powerful vehicles, hunting animals who are dumber than you, and taking glee in it. You're a bully. Fuck you.
Watching the latest Mr. Robot, which is a new obsession due to its insanely rare effort to actually write a hacker drama in which the technology and hacking aren't a bunch of techno-jargon written by someone who Googled "tech-sounding words," but are actually accurate. I'm still having a hard time believing this really exists, and they're truly succeeding.
In this episode, the main character's describing his plan to a room full of geeks. He holds up something and refers to it as a circuit board, and describes how they're going to use it in the plan. I immediately recognize it as a Raspberry Pi and think, "aha, they're finally slipping up by using some easy, cheaply-available component that they assume nobody will recognize and just using it generically. Had to fail eventually."
Three seconds later a woman in the group says, "Okay, we all know what a Raspberry Pi is. What's your point?"
Thought I used to have: "Do women, especially of the young, universally attractive variety, see the world as a much better place than men do, since people are so much nicer to them?"
Thought I have now: "Do women, of absolutely every form, see the world as a much worse place than men do, since people treat them like lesser beings?"
You’re such a rebel. You know, and I know it. I know it, because I’m the guy stuck not being able to make a left onto the side street you’re crossing during the limited time allotted to me because you just can’t be held back my simple things like “Don’t Walk” signs.
See, those signs aren’t there JUST to protect you from oncoming traffic, allowing you to say, “nah, I can walk fast, and I love danger,” and ignore them. They also exist to help the flow of traffic.
A lot of intersections provide limited time for cars to be able to make turns into them, left or right, especially ones with a ton of foot traffic. Sometimes we have only seconds of free and clear time to get through. And some lights are specifically weighted to stop pedestrian traffic WELL before the driving lights switch, to help ensure that the crosswalk is clear long enough for traffic to get through as needed.
So when you and your bad self decide to cross anyway, you screw up the larger traffic flow. You hold back traffic, and you potentially force vehicles who were in the right place at the right time to now be stuck in the middle of an intersection blocking the flow of traffic because you overrode the time they had left to turn.
Please knock it off. Be a cool rule-breaker in other ways. Ways that don’t make the rest of us late to our destinations or turn us into inadvertent rebels ourselves as we sit in the middle of a four-way intersection being honked at.
