18. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
This ended up being way longer than I expected. It’s more Lucifer and Maze brotp, hope that’s okay?
“So. Let me get this straight,” Maze says, lounging with her feet up on Lucifer’s coffee table. “You want to convince Chloe’s potential suitor not only that she’s already in a relationship, but that you’re actually her boyfriend?”
“Right,” Lucifer says, wondering where the problem is.
“All because you think this guy has the hots for Chloe?”
“I know desire, Maze. I can see it when he looks at her.” He grits his teeth.
“And you can’t stand the thought of her being with anyone else now that you’ve realized she has the Free Will and can choose another because you’re to chickenshit to act on how you feel.” Maze sums up.
“Mazikeen,” he growls at her ineffectually. She glares back, unremorseful. “Are you going to help me or not?” he asks, words clipped, but nearly on the edge of groveling.
“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in,” Maze scoffs.
It starts off with a lot of pet names being dropped, even more so than usual. Lucifer intermittently slipping “love” between “darling” and “dear”. Chloe looks a bit suspicious, but says nothing about it.
The man clearly interested in pursuing Chloe - a detective from the Narcotics division named, hilariously, Adam - gets waylaid by an excited Ella.
Maze had insisted on bringing the Tribe in on the plan. Lucifer had been doubtful, but Ella keeps Adam distracted while he slips on Chloe’s coat for her and smooths it across her shoulders. The other man’s gaze flickers over to them, but Lucifer pays him no mind as advised by Linda.
He’d been surprised by his therapist being on board with such subterfuge, but she’s been surprisingly helpful.
“You have to behave as if you’re already in a relationship with the Detective, Lucifer. No insecurity,” Linda says.
It’s with that thought in mind that he actually approaches Adam the next time the man comes around.
“Detective Baker, was it?” Lucifer says, introducing himself with a handshake that is firm enough to be polite and no more. It’s oddly freeing, this facade, he feels… Settled. Like Adam is a mere blip and nothing to be overly concerned about.
Adam seems surprised Lucifer has approached him. “Uh, yeah. That’s me.” He looks at Lucifer and swallows. “You’re Decker’s partner, aren’t you?”
“I am.” Lucifer fairly beams with pride. “She’s off at the moment, however. Is there something I can do for you?”
“Um, no. Not - that’s very kind, but -”
“Ah, here she comes now actually.” Lucifer looks at her with all the tenderness he can muster.
She glances at him, pleased, but confused. “What’s going on here?” she asks with a bit of a laugh.
“Just waiting on you, love. It’s nearly time to pick up the child from school,” Lucifer reminds her gently.
“Look, I’ll take a bounty and tell Decker I can’t pick up the kid,” Maze explains.
“What good does that do me?” Lucifer asks.
“Are you kidding? What kind of fake boyfriend are you?”
Lucifer looks at her affronted. “The best kind,” he replies.
“Then, as Chloe’s boyfriend, you would have no problem picking her daughter up from school, would you?”
“I suppose not,” he concedes. Chloe did often consider things done for Trixie as an extension of things done for her.
“So you’ll go get the kid and you’ll bring her back here and have fun,” Maze says like a threat.
“Yes, alright,” Lucifer rolls his eyes. “You’ve made your point.”
Chloe checks at her watch. “Crap, you’re right.” Then she looks at her stack of work, frustrated.
Lucifer reaches out and squeezes her arm. “How about I go and retrieve Beatrice and have dinner waiting for you when you come home? How does that sound?”
“Oh, Lucifer that would be wonderful,” Chloe says, grateful.
“Of course.” Lucifer angles himself to include Adam in the conversation. “I believe Detective Baker needed something of you…?” Lucifer tails off.
“Um, no actually. It seems I’ve misunderstood. I’ve got a case on my desk calling my name.” Adam grins, a bit rueful, a little disappointed, but takes a step back all the same.
Lucifer makes himself look slightly interested. “Well, I hope it goes well for you and you catch the bad guys.”
Adam’s grin goes suddenly genuine. “Me, too. See you guys around.”
Lucifer turns back to Chloe and there’s something in her gaze, like when she’s working out a lead, that makes him a little nervous.
Lucifer makes a show of checking the little pocket watch on his waistcoat. “Well. I ought to be off if I am to collect the spawn. See you in a few hours, darling.” Then he sweeps out of the precinct.
Trixie is easy enough to manage compared to the unruly demons he once ruled. Between the two of them, they complete her homework, including an art project that manages to get glitter everywhere. Lucifer finds the vacuum and gets most of it, except for what’s lodged in his hair and stuck to his person. Trixie giggles, but makes no mention of the silver specks when he questions her on what she finds so funny.
Then he starts on dinner, calculating Chloe will be home just as it finishes. He confers with Trixie and the contents of the fridge and makes a baked chicken dish. It’s just being pulled out of the oven when Chloe steps inside, kicking her shoes off and inhaling the delicious smells.
Trixie is setting out silverware as Lucifer puts plates down. “Mommy!” Trixie cries and abandons her job to run bodily into Chloe’s legs. “Lucifer and I finished the art project for science class!” she announces.
“That’s wonderful, baby. Can you show me after dinner?”
Trixie nods against her mother’s hip, grinning.
She turns her attention to him, then, something soft in her gaze. “Hi,” she says, almost shy.
He looks up at her and smiles warmly. “Hello, love.”
She swallows, but quickly gathers herself. “Lucifer, it smells amazing in here.”
“Just wait till you taste it, then,” he teases and he turns to finish setting the table. Unknowingly the light catches at the glitter in his hair, caught in his shirt, dappling him like stars.
Lucifer nearly drops the plate in his hand when Chloe strides over to him, takes his face on her hands and kisses him soundly.
Maze, watching from the shadows, grins. Trixie spots her and returns the expression, giving the demon a thumbs up. Lucifer is going to owe her big time for this.
