#tutor feedback

[ekniemisba3a]

I’ve taken the feedback I’ve been given and been working on improving the animatic around my animation footage so that the narrative is clearer for the audience and that I’m choosing the best of way composing a shot. This is still very much in progress, it’s just what I’ve been able to do before my tutorial with my tutor John saw it. Speaking of the tutorial the feedback I received is below:

Tutor feedback:

Slow zoom into the photo as he leaves

Change windows in beginning to three straight on

Make images clearer! eg. colour & get rid of scanned thumbnails

[ekniemisba3a]

Tutor Feedback:

Go back to initial surrealist and dream research eg. make sure camera angles, lighting and colour evoke dream quality 

Liked my experimentation ideas (paint on live action hand and on fur, mimic Maisie's painting strokes)

Liked Chantelle‘s references to Junjiito

Random cohesive element throughout the sequences so people can go back and watch it and notice something else eg. adventure time snail or random moments within Green Wing

[ekniemisba3a]

Feedback based on my final animation sequence plus current animatic, very extensive feedback that is going to be very helpful. However, a lot of the feedback may not be able to show in final animatic - would include in the final short film if I get a chance to finish it. 

Drew a sketch of what I could have done with the set where we enter the rat’s mind. Really like the idea of growths/disease all over his house (resembling Annihilation film/book or Amnesia game) and body that only becomes evident or obvious towards the end of the short film. Did do a test on the sundeala walls with red and white acrylic paint - fleshy quality but thought it would be too time-consuming to paint both walls and probably won’t see it because of the low lighting, 3D growths made from silicone would have been better even if it was dark, would see outline of it - more mysterious and disconcerting if you can quite see it.

[ekniemisba3a]

BA3a Collaborative Pre-Production: Helen Feedback (26.11.18)

Flesh out storyboards/thumbnails and go from there

Make sure colour palette consistent in all animation types (lighting/backgrounds)

Schedule - can push activities back if needed & good that we left catch up time in submission week

Script should be made alongside storyboard - make sure they work together as a whole!

[ekniemisba2a]

BA2a Narrative Strategies - Feedback from tutor

Re-draft - change beginning, likes line colours too bright, use as first line

Magic realism

uncanny (Freud and Jentsch)

Stevenson's Interpretation of Dreams & the link to the book, being written after a dream, etc, also the dreams in the book (Search for Mr Hyde and Jekyll's first spontaneous transformation occurs when he wakes up). Lot of symbolism to do with sleep in the book.

your writing process, look back at week 3 on the VLE there was some info about creative writing, Kurt Vonnegut's rules for short story writing, so you might find some useful support for your creative decisions there (you might also find information in Murakami interviews).

how you would animate the film - you already mentioned one influence, animation style, colour palette, any other visual influences, soundtrack and dialogue are important to mention(would you need to substantially change anything in moving the story from page to screen). 

are you going to be true to the historical period in your animation, if so, research into the costume, furniture, style of the era etc. 

[ekniemisba2a]

This was my first attempt at an animatic based on my story ideas and thumbnail board. I have always struggled with animatics, it always takes me quite a bit of time to get into it drawing on the tablet again and be happy with what I have drawn. That is probably the reason why this animatic is so little frames and doesn’t tell the audience what is going on very well. When I had finished this version I got some tutor feedback that made me rethink my story and redo my animatic. 

The beginning was unbelievable, as the characters are unlikely not to notice the gun sooner, this made more sense when I had the gun come out of a box but I realised that would be another inanimate item so wouldn’t fit the brief. Instead, my tutor suggested that I have my characters enter on stage from behind the curtain ignoring each other until they both notice the gun at the same time. Due to the lack of frames, I put in a lot of unnecessary arrows that are not allowed in professional storyboards, arrows should only be used to show a camera movement eg. a pan. To make this a better animatic I must change the beginning, add more frames to better illustrate the movements of my characters and add timing.

A positive point that my tutor made was that my story reminded her of the comedic duo Laurel and Hardy. I knew of them but I had never seen any of their work, so I went and watched a few of their sketches on YouTube to familiarise myself with their humour and films. I think some of the personalities they play and the situations they enact are similar to what I want to achieve in my animation, especially in the film I attached below.

Their comedy also reminded me of the Marx Brothers whose wit and humour I was introduced to quite young by my parents, I loved them, but my favourite character was the lovable and mischevious mute Harpo Marx. I attached a clip of my favourite scene of his that always cracks me up, and I think what makes this scene so funny is Harpo’s facial expressions and eyes as he silently torments the lemonade vendor. 

[dannihenleydesigns-blog]

T u t o r   F e e d b a c k !

I recently emailed Martin my idea and my mock up poster, explaining I will be using fur on the real image in the exhibition. 

Martin replied,  I like the fur and touch idea but I think the creative needs a bit of work: The message need to be slightly different: 'Soft and cuddly right? but a poster doesn't need to shelter, exercise, nutrition and most of all love" (something more like that). The "new pet owner?' line seem miss placed, I think it just needs a good sign of line. this is why 'A dogs not just for Christmas' line works so well."There life in your hands" (or something like that) would also feeds back to the touch element of the design. Design wise: the text needs to stand out more, so maybe make the background colour darker, or change the colour of the type to be darker (more contrasting) The typography is a very unstructured. Look at a stacked typo approach to maximise impact (see attached) Martin

I will be looking back at my poster and thinking about how I can change it to create the design more appealing to the audience. 

[bateman-90]

MPH0402 Street Photography Project: Initial Test Prints - Tutor Feedback + Response

Having worked to produce the prints featured in my previous post, I then sought some feedback from my tutor on the progress of my project and how it could be improved. The main feedback points raised by my tutor (John Smith) were; > Those chosen on the London Underground do not show much detail, nor events (they are not of especially interesting subject matter) > The prints produced so far need to be printed more accurately using the enlargers’ frame guide (there is light bleed visible at the edges of each print) > The prints selected so far do not fit as a coherent set.

I found this feedback useful, though in honesty it left me felt somewhat lost in my next direction to take; having considered the subject matter of the majority of my images so far, I intend to re - shoot two more films around the continuing theme, and print some further frames once I have decided upon those most suitable for my final set - some frames that John identified that I had not considered will be included.