#tw dec18

[berrymeter]

like it's really fucking annoying how people (read shawols) treat jonghyun so many ppl will only bring him up to be sad which is fair ofc but that's not all he was and i feel like a lot of people forget that a big part of him is that he's an ARTIST. you talk about jonghyun the deceased but never about jonghyun the artist or even just jonghyun the person. and the way you do talk about him is sickening... never taking into account that it didn't only affect the individual who's talking about it, it affected the industry more than any idol enlisting will (yes even taemin.) and it affected shinee more than any of them enlisting has and will. on that note i kinda loathe to see people post about how shinee mention him like "wow they thought about him i'm so touched"... they knew him personally. that was their best friend. don't you feel weird expecting anything from them as if you knew him better and are pretty much waiting for the 'recognition' of people who actually knew him? man idk where i'm going with this but i hate how shawols treat jonghyun and shinee in relation to him fuck this

[gaykey]

*tw for sad things/vague mentions of dec 18 related things*

with a shinee reunion looming, a lot of emotions are rising to surface.

i just want all shawols to know, that there is never a right or wrong way to grieve.

there is no time limit.

talking about your feelings is completely valid as long as you're mindful and respectful of those who may be triggered.

it's okay to still cry about it.

it's okay to feel anxious or nervous about shinee coming back.

and it's okay to feel happy & excited.

it's okay to acknowledge that yes, though you still love them all with your entire heart, things are different now, and you're finding ways to cope with that.

and it's totally okay to want to take a break or support them from afar.

i love our fandom so much. i love our strength and our warm atmosphere, and our sense of family.

just keep doing you, and know that, if anyone ever wants to chat, about sad things, or happy things, or whatever, i'm here ✌🏾💞

[berrymeter]

oh its on sight

[gaykey]

I had yt playing in the background when I was cleaning the kitchen today and suddenly our page started playing and I legit sat down on the kitchen floor and started crying, I kid you not, my eyes were so red and puffy afterwards but goddammit I love shinee so much and I just.. And the next song was that one in Japanese, they did at the concert in Japan in 2018 with one mic empty and jjong singing from the speakers and when I looked at the screen I saw Kibum's face and I was like yep. That's it. Thank god I was alone at home cause I really broke down.

hey, anon

i mean, it happens

i was on the bus home from work the other night, and 'end of a day' came on. and, i listen to this song quite regularly, but, it just, got me the other night.

i cried the whole way home. and, ooooof, i was trying so hard to hide it.

i can go days, weeks, months, without being emotional, or overly sad, and then sometimes, it's a daily battle. it does just hit you. and that's fine. it's okay to cry and feel sad.

i feel like, it's become sort of taboo in the fandom, but, cry when you need to cry, anon.

it's all love. it's all feelings.

[forepop]

Parallels: Kids from Yesterday (My Chemical Romance) // Paparazzi Photos of the Funeral of Kim Jonghyun (2017)

The cameras show the accidents, and stars you hate.

[gaykey]

When I first heard about jonghyun's death I cried for three days. I thought that I'd never feel happy listening to him again. Yet it's been three years and I realise now that I want to remember him as a kind, wonderful, sweet, caring, lovely, good person who gave us amazing music, breathtaking performances and many reasons to laugh. He's gone from this world but he's not gone from our hearts and I'm gonna continue loving him and listening to his music as long as I can.

nika 💞

i think i cried on & off for weeks. i still cry. i cried just a minute ago lol.

it did take a while for me to listen to any of his work again ('lock you down', in particular was really tough for me).

but, you're so right.

he was genuinely a beautiful, unforgettable human being, who brought so much love, and joy, and art, into this world, and that is the impression he would have wanted to leave behind, so, i'll do my very best to honour that.

his presence is very much felt, all the time.

we'll all continue to keep him in our heads and hearts.

we love you always jonghyun! 🌙

[forepop]

like LITERALLY when benjamin alire sáenz said "people who have monsters recognize each other. they know each other without even saying a word," and jamey johnson said, "and if it looks like we were scared to death, like a couple of kids just trying to save each other," and richard siken said "the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me from jumping off of the bridge."

[forepop]

Like LITERALLY it amazes me sometimes, what humans can do...Shining SHINee in a country an ocean and years away from the five boys who dreamed and worked and loved and hungered for the chance to be idols and who became role models instead. Shining SHINee five, who should have had the chance to grow old together and who are bound and defined by their struggle to redefine normal in the face of loss like an organ being ripped from their bodies and time that marches on, uncaring, unloving, relentlessly neutral as we try to process the things life hurls at our feet...our lives that are roses with thorns that punch holes in our hands and take our blood from us, but are still so beautiful and precious to hold. Faces like loss, faces like the empty relentless abyss that stared back at Nietzche, pretty faces twisted into the tragedy mask of the theatre symbol. Loss like nails scratching down your arm, love like the ache of your fingers from holding on with the last of your strength. Screams that come from your belly button, so primal that not even God could stop them from ripping out of you like a fish on a hook. Boys become men in the spotlight, real men with eyes like a thousand yard stare and emotions so strong you can't even feel them anymore, men forged in the moment something they loved was taken from them. Men made out of a loss so big it felt like death, a death of the soul that they have to learn to live without. A voice from a recording like a phantom limb and the terrifying truth that it will never do anything new again. A voice like a broken record, all perfection and no life. A boy who was so, so loved, a boy with a god-kissed soul, a boy with a voice that made the world stand still and listen, a boy with a warmth that felt like everything would be alright, a boy who is alive on the screen and dead in South Korea. Men who are men now but feel like boys again, lost and desperate. Desperation like you ran a marathon and rage and rage against the rage and loss loss loss loss. Everything around you is immortal except the things you love the most.