Looking through my tumblr was a ride sorta I should get interests again
I guess my goal these past few months was to be acknowledged and that was always my end goal sorta just to be acknowledged
I mean I did get it sorta it’s weird
I kinda miss when I was just posting and making art and writing thoughts for myself rather than just comparing myself to everyone in the history of ever and how I’m a failure and they’re not
Then I was obsessing over Kanye west (mostly his music lol) drawing my ocs and making everything about Craig tucker how the fuck did I end up here
Realistically I love receiving attention for what I make whether it be people positively engaging with it or people just saying “I don’t like it” because even though both interactions seem different they really aren’t because in the end I’m being acknowledged they spent time looking at what I made and said something about it which is what i wanted
Being ignored is a bit more of an insult to me because that implies that what I made isn’t worth anybody’s time although it doesn’t reflect about how they feel about me personally because realistically we all are people behind a screen and we can’t like EVERYSINGLETHINGONTHEONTERNET and that’s bound to happen but idk man it sucks wanting to show my art and the person below me gets million times more recognition
I don’t wanna pretend I’m some tortured artist or poet because realistically I’m not I’m just a teenager on the internet with bad self esteem in a sea of teenagers with the same issue
But I have the belief that everyone I mean everyone needs atleast some encouragement to be truly motivated to keep going
Tldr dandys world gave me an existential crisis and idk if I wanna keep participating maybe this isn’t about dandys world it’s about ME as a PERSON
I don’t know what’s become of this post I’m just gonna close off