#tw: breakdowns

[askamykruber]

Have any if the handeemen every had break downs? Such as panic attacks and etc?

OOC/Phantom: since this is a serious topic, I'll leave some articles in a comment for y'all)

Hiya, dearie!

Well, that is a very serious question, but the answer is yes. The Handeemen have times of havin' a break-down and sometimes panic attacks.

The most prominent has been Nick throughout the other Handeemen. Riley does occasionally have panic attacks, but she manages to pull herself together at the best of times.

The first time we found out Nick suffered from panic attacks was durin' a nice day in the park. Now, we were all havin' a good time in a private place when Nick suddenly seemed to be disturbed by some sort metal plate gettin' hit.

It...it sounded like a hit and Nick started to grow nervous. His hands were tremblin' as his breath started to shortenin'. Jake and I immediately knew somethin' was up, we try to ask him what was wrong but he kept mutterin' about some punishment and something not being his fault.

Nick began crying and curlin' up. Jake took him away from the park and wash his face with cold water and reassure him he was safe.

We held him close until he calmed down and did not touch the subject until we returned home.

Jake kindly explained to him that what he had appeared to be a panic attack (we presume is linked to some PTSD, we'll still look for a way to give him professional help about it)

Now for Riley, it was a sudden moment. Rosco got sick and there has been some discussion about what has been happenin' to him, and the possibility that it could be somethin' serious that it could threaten his life

Riley started to panic and look rather nervous. To my surprised, she immediately left the room as she went from fresh air and focused on holding an ice cube (OOC: Someone who suffers from panic attacks to the point of having medicine for it, said finding a safe way to translate how you're feeling in a physical manner does help. It did help me that one time) and she talked with Daisy about her latest experiment

Afterwards, she asked about the subject and got a more clear answer that Rosco was having a stomach ache after accidentally tryin' to eat Cookie again..

The closest thing Daisy ever has to one was cryin' about accidentally using her Danger mode against Scouty. Poor dear broke cryin'

Mortimer seems to have a better grip of his emotions and is well aware how he feels. Owen has been workin' with him so he doesn't tend to use brute force as a coopin' mechanism.

They have some rough times, but we're workin' together as a family to overcome the challenges

-Amy

[angels-twice-descending]

Let it Rain: Day 1 of 12 Days of SS (2/12)

word count: 773

synopsis: Mind Palace AU where Thomas has many emotional issues

warning: emotional breakdowns, anger (let me know of there's any more)

***

"And its raining

Thank goodness for the roar

As it comes pouring down

I can kick, I can scream, I can shout

Let it rain on."

-Dodie Clark "Rain"

The rain drummed against the window in an uneven beat. Patton didn't like rain. The sound it made against the glass gave him a headache. Still, he had no control over the weather. You'd have thought that in the Mind Palace you'd at least be able to control the weather. But it was as random and natural as emotions. It came and it went and it changed. 

Still, Patton sat on the bed in his little neat room, staring out of the window into the fuzzy haze. The wall of constant rainfall blocked the faraway view of the mountains, which were conjured by Thomas - the Host.

He sighed and walked over to the door. It creaked as he opened it, the light from his room flooding the hallway. Usually, it was filled with the other Sides, chattering and laughing or arguing and shouting. Patton was glad for the silence. He was glad he was alone. 

He didn't enjoy solitude too much. Except on rainy days.

He switched on the kettle and grabbed a tin from the top shelf in the kitchen. The metal lid scraped against the box as he opened it. He grabbed a handful of the chocolate chip cookies and put the rest back on the shelf. He threw some cocoa into the hot water and, his snacks in hand, left the kitchen.

He sat on the green couch, leaning back into the soft cushions. He closed his eyes and directed his thoughts to Thomas. He could hear him more clearly now. His voice echoed in Patton's ears, as well as three other voices. They were arguing. As always. He usually blocked out the discussions. He wasn't ever needed for them anyways, so why listen. It only upset him. The voices overlapped and the words stumbled around, but he understood the general gist of the conversation. Thomas was ineffective in his work.

"You're supposed to be working, not breaking down every second of the day." That was Logan.

"Well, he wouldn't have to break down all the time if you just laid off him, Nerd," Roman trilled.

"Wow, that's an uncreative insult," Logan said, then a crash sounded in Patton's ears.

"Alright, both of you," the deep voice of Anxiety sounded for the first time, "Lay off each other. Roman, stop throwing a fit every time Logan tries to fix Thomas' attitude. And Logan, you and I both know," Patton set down his cup of cocoa, "Thomas isn't really in control of his-" Patton closed his eyes and snapped his finger. He felt a breeze pass over him, "-emotions."

"You called?" Patton drawled, eyeing Logan, Roman, Anxiety and Thomas. Anxiety's eyes, full of hatred, drilled into him, while Logan crossed his arms and sighed. 

Roman spoke up first. "No one needs you, Go-rality."

"No need for nicknames, kiddo. You talk of emotions - I am emotions - so I must be present." 

"He is right," Logan said.

Anxiety growled, retracting into his black hoodie.

"No, he's not. We don't need a useless personification of our enemy in our army," Roman said.

"You can't fix Thomas until you accept that I am part of the team!" Patton shouted, glancing at the Host, who stood, looking at the scene before him, his eyes filled with shock.

"Just go," Roman stomped his foot.

Patton rolled his eyes. "Fine," he lifted up his hand, "but mark my words. You will come back to me." He smiled and snapped his fingers.

He found himself back on the green couch in front of a window. The rain poured harder than ever, but Patton couldn't hear it over his ragged breathing. His hands shook and his voice quivered as he muttered to himself. He clenched his hand and kicked the coffee table before him. It shook, spilling the liquid from the cup. Patton bit his lower lip and with one hand, slammed the cup off the table, shattering it on the wooden floorboards.

He shot up, throwing any item near him at the window - at the rain. A lamp shattered against the glass, shards of the fabric and the lightbulb fell onto the heap of thrown items by the wall.

His energy faltered. Patton collapsed onto the couch again, tears filling up his eyes. He hugged his legs to his chest. Sobs escaped his mouth. He grabbed at his polo shirt, as if trying to tear it off. He screamed and shouted and cried until his voice went hoarse. 

"What's going on, Pat?" A drawling voice above him caught Patton's attention. He looked up at the scales, the yellow gloves and the black cloak. Deceit.

"Help," he croaked.

***

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[almostjehan]

Hello.

In light of recent certain events, I won't be on tumblr for a while- currently, I'm having a lot of trouble with a lot of things, including but not excluded to: doing my homework, stopping myself from having huge emotional and sensory meltdowns, forcing myself to care about anything, being happy,  talking to certain people without crying, and communicating my emotions without seeming manipulative. 

I won't be quitting the internet- and will probably still visit some of your blogs despite the fact that I'm freaking out all the time- but I will be off tumblr for a while. I spend too much time on here, and I've noticed that the time I spend away from tumblr is time that I spend a lot more usefully and I feel a lot better if I'm not on here. I'm just... I want to be a lot happier, I don't want to have to keep stressing out about my homework or people shouting or being close to me or touching me and I need a lot more time to finish things and to find reasons to keep going. (I'm at the point where it would be very easy for me to just stop caring about anything, but things keep pulling me back. A lot of you are those things.) 

I'm going to try to spend my time away from this website doing things that are more productive, more creative and better than scrolling through pictures of Steve and Tony and cats an things. Maybe I'll actually finish reading Les Mis, or finish writing that AU that I started a while ago and didn't finish, and maybe I'll find ways to get on top of my homework and stop stressing out about it. 

I just need to find things that make me happy, and tumblr doesn't do that anymore. If you need or want to talk to me, probably you know my email address, but if not, then ask me. 

Anyway. Thanks. 

Sorry.