#tw: use of

[needhealing]

A few more seconds, that's all. Then the pain will be over. I'll go to sleep. Finally.

Oh, oh, no. No, not him. Anyone but him. What's he going to do? What's that in his hand.

I'm behaving. I'm behaving, I'm behaving, I'mbehavingbehavingbehavebehave....

"Bite down on this. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

O..okay? This isn't so...

"That's a mild electric shock I just hit you with. Not enough to stop your heart, but enough that it hurts. Keep pushing me and I'll have to remember how to give CPR. Do NOT push me."

Yes, yes, yes, okay. I won't push. I won't push.

"Good pet."

[abstract-nothing]

Ugh. Depression sucks. Tw: use of word "stupid" a lot. . . . Stupid moods. Stupid lack of motivation. Stupid NOT FINDING ANYTHING. Stupid numbness. Stupid apathy. Stupid forgetfulness. Stupid feeling bad about feeling bad. Stupid feeling bad about not have motivation. Stupid brain fog. Ugh. And I can't find my medicine. The bottle has completely disappeared. Been 3 days without it. Now my brain is zapping. I just want to feel clearheaded. Ugh.