Dear anyone, earlier this year I was in a six month long relationship with a guy I really did love. This guy was a friend of mine I had previously been friends with for over five years. He admitted to me one day out of the blue that he has loved me since we were sophomores in high school, we're now both graduated, he was my first, and we had plans to get married. He had proposed to me and everything. With him I was always comfortable and happy no matter how miserable I was. Then, I went away 1/3
2/3 to a friend’s place for a few weeks giving him a number as a way to get ahold of me because I didn’t have a cellphone and neither did he but I still tried. While I was gone, he slept with two women and knocked both of them up. We have been done since June and I have since then had three significant others. With all of them I have been having trouble getting comfortable and no matter how attracted I am or how much I like them I end up breaking up with them after not very long. I keep trying3/3 as hard as I can to trust them and be open and comfortable but for some reason I just can’t do it. I become anxious and unable to let them touch me when usually, I have no problems with it. My friends of many years and I are all so used to each other and so comfortable with each other we think nothing of touching each other or watching each other change clothes, and I am still like that with my friends, but I feel like I can’t seem to let anyone new into my life. What do I do?
It’s really hard to learn to trust again after your significant other does something like that. You knew him for 5 years, and were romantically together for 6 months. It’s going to be hard to trust someone new after that.
You’ll have to go slowly into new relationships. Find someone who’s understanding of your position. Find someone who will give you the space you need, and will hold your hand only when you want it. Find someone that loves the way you smile.
When you do get into a new relationship, and you being feeling anxious and uncomfortable, tell them. Express your feelings, and see how they react. Hopefully, they’ll want to comfort you, and make sure you feel safe, warm, and cared for. Remember, you don’t have to force yourself onto the romantic playing field until you want to.
