#tw; dumb

[matsukipple]

hi i think i’m having a breakdownsjebsjdnw not me almost failing my assignment that i have a test for tomorrow oh fuck i got dumber and now i can’t seem to stop cryin

[japaneesee]

<3 <3 i love my bae

baelor the blessed

please help i've been in this tower for months

[mustbeafangirl]

i'm sorry for neglecting my blog the past couple of days 

if you messaged me yes i saw it no i will probably not respond but thank you for your kind words

i've had several people, including a couple of teachers and in one case a practical stranger, express worry in my mental health recently. i guess i show my emotions more than previously thought. over the past few weeks you could say i've been feeling "down," without reason. I started to eat less, sleep less, and a kind of general unhappiness settled upon me. Then this week my parents found out about my slipping grades and removed me from marching band, and that sent me into some very dark pits. I do not believe it's the removal from band (although it is something that I indeed love quite dearly) is the sole cause of my current emotional state, but rather a buildup of tension that I chose to ignore was finally released. I'm so dumb.

i do not feel anything. i cry randomly, sometimes in class. food has no taste. i sleep in periods of forty five minutes max before i disorientedly wake up. music isn't appealing, and just sounds like strategically placed noise. i want to die. (i don't mean that.) (i do mean that.) i made suicide plans, trashed them. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so scared. i want to get mental help, but my parents would never, ever let me. i almost told my dad today and then he went on some rant about him having to work as a kid and he said i'm letting my emotions get in the way of success. i hate myself. i'm so selfish. i'm sorry you read this.