Discover Top Posts Tagged with #tw:sad

I just burst into tears reading a headline on a news app about animal cruelty.

I couldn’t read the rest of the article.

How can people be so horrible?

I’m still sobbing now.

It’s one thing that truly breaks my heart and gets me so damn angry.

A really long vent is about to come...

How can I start... I’m not the type of person that talk of how I am feeling, almost all the time I keep that to myself even when things aren’t right, so probably the only reason I write this is cause I feel like I’m talking to someone without actually doing it... you know?... so let’s begin.

2019 was a terrible year for me (mentally) I felt so sad and lonely (I want to say depressed but I’m not diagnosed and I don’t want to self diagnose). Even my birthday was terrible and I spend most of the day crying.

2020 started so good, I started to feel hope and I felt like I really wanted to live, the biggest reason for that was that I was going to a couple of concert of my favourite artist, I was so happy and eager for the future, but then corona came to the picture and all of what I wanted and hoped for was suddenly cancelled or postponed, at first I handle it well, but a couple of days ago I started to feel so sad all over again, and I was terrified cause I didn’t wanted to feel like that again, I was so scared to spend another birthday crying and lonely.

With quarantine and everything that’s going one i was so worried my family wouldn’t even care about me, I though that if last year was horrible then now with all the the mess it was going to be even worse, but I was wrong! Since the moment I woke up I felt so loved and happy, my family prepared many surprises and I was so genuinely... happy.

And now I’m crying but not because I’m sad, but because I’m happy and I had an amazing birthday and i again feel hope. I’m still scared to feel sad again, but I want to hold to the happiness I feel a little longer.

#so yeah...#sorry for the rant #sad story with kind of a happy ending #???#im on my phone so i cant put the read more thingy #tw:sad #tw: sadness #tw: depression #?#m

||The Hero Dies In This One||

Blake felt a lot of different emotions-- anger, guilt, disgust, exhaustion, sadness. That one was the biggest--sadness. She hadn’t felt this sad in a while, a long while actually and it scared her shit less to be falling back into the dark, deep, hole of depression that she once was in. Her disorder made it incredibly difficult for her to keep and maintain a normal mood. Sometimes, she really hated herself. “Why can’t you just be normal?” She repeat to herself all the time. She just didn’t understand, she couldn’t grasp why she couldn’t get a hold of her emotions. She pushed people away, all of the time. She did it to her family, her friends, and her significant others. She wanted to scream, why wasn’t she normal? Why was she so crazy?? These thoughts plagued her brain all of the time, night and day. On the outside, she seemed normal, happy even but on the inside--she felt herself slowly losing control once again. She wanted to tell Ryan, she had to tell Ryan. He was the only person who helped her--who made her feel better. He didn’t judge her for it, he didn’t make her feel insane, he calmed her down a lot. She would tell him, just not at this moment in time. She felt like in a strange way, like she was a hero and her mind was a villain. She wanted to believe that she could beat it all, that she could rise up as a hero like in the superhero movies and tv shows but she had a strange gut feeling that-- the hero dies in this one.

Unlike the unrealistic superman movies where he could come back from anything, Blake was sure she couldn’t come back from this. In a matter of days, she’d lost Thomas--someone she liked a lot and thought the world of at one point. His words echoing over and over in her head, was he right? Was all of this her fault? It surely felt that way. Yet again, the blonde had found another way to screw up everything good in her life. That was what she did best after all, mess everything up, destroy it all, cause a storm, and break it all into pieces. She did that even when she was a little girl--she can remember breaking one of her mom’s china dishes and her mother yelling at her for it. She had implanted a thought into Blake’s mind after that day--maybe all she was good for was ruining everything. She just wanted to be happy, she wanted to actual feel happy and for it to last this time. She wanted someone to love her and make her feel like she was worth it. That’s all she ever wanted, even as a child. She just wanted love and attention and her parents never gave it to her. She never felt like they really cared and so far, she hasn’t dated a single person who has either. She had a few external wounds on her body but to tell the truth, they were probably just as much internal as they were external. You know the saying “some people wear their heart’s on their sleeves?” Well, hers wasn’t even on her sleeve anymore-- it was almost on the ground at this point.

“ Some people believe that Ravens guide travelers to their destinations, others believe that the sight of a solitary Raven is considered good luck. While more than one Raven together--predicts trouble ahead. ”

#tw:sad #tw:mentions of depression #tw: mental illness #(x. self para--)

Wanted to try playing with light and shadow a bit more, so here’s a sketchy sad Scotty... maybe something just happened to one of his brothers? Is he worrying about his Father? Remembering Mom? What do you guys reckon would upset our Thunderbird One most?

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