#tweeets

[tastefullyoffensive]

30+ Tweets That Are As Relatable As They Are Funny

[wrendaily]

@wrendaily: :( x2

[im-a-creepy-cookie]

...

who is Gonna Tell them?

[myfunkybdaytv]

''Buhari is completely out-of-touch as a leader’' - Oby Ezekwesili

”Buhari is completely out-of-touch as a leader’’ – Oby Ezekwesili

Former Education Minister and avowed critic of President Muhalladu Buhari, Oby Ezekwesili has rubbished the President claim of food security in Nigeria, saying he is completely out of touch with the realities on ground.

Ezekwesili was reacting to Buhari’s claims that the agricultural sector under his administration has recorded massive growth and development as morebillionaires have emerged…

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[alaskababey]

@theodork: come meet Spider-Man tonight at Spencer’s Comics !!

[eyewitnessnation]

James Paxton on Twitter - Sunday December 18th, 2016

[txylornichole]

I just made a twatter and I need people to follow, send me your usernames and I'll follow you maybe c:

[wadenaboy-blog]

BRAIN TWEETS Random ruminations and observations in 140 characters or less. by Barry Bowman

….I think Justin Bieber should pace himself. If he’s already driving Ferraris, then where do you go?  Fighter jets?...Is there anyone on the planet with the name “Hitler”?... I admit it, I’m always very contrite and conscientious for a few days after I get ticketed for speeding—-but then I’m back to my old habits.... Hemp doesn't contain THC and won't make you high…Do ants ever sleep?...What’s up with those traffic lights that refuse to change to green  because I’m an inch over some invisible line…Notice how all phone numbers in the movies begin with 555? or how people coming out of health food stores always look sickly?...I really despise those curly light bulbswe’ve all been forced to use…Don’t you love the side-effects warnings on erectile dysfunction television ads?... America’s Funniest Home Videos.My guilty pleasure!... Farewell computer mouse; it’s coming, and fast…I always think metric with temperature and speed but haven’t gotten past height and weight measurements yet; probably never will…Why haven’t we replaced old power grids with underground wiring in every major city in Canada by now? Power blackouts would disappear…How come Canadian country music singers all sound like they’re from Alabama?...I’m hooked on Downton Abbey… Is it possible to sneeze without closing your eyes?... Who can spend ten minutes in line at Starbucks and then still not know what they want?...Worst sound #186: The sickening “plonk” sound my virus-infected computer makes when it freezes!...... It’s so unfair. All these old homeless guys I see always have a full head of hair! What’s their secret?...There oughta be a law: Against  Politicians who roll up their sleeves only when posing for campaign photographs… Anyone have a problem with endless instructions on an answering machine? Simply: “Leave your number; we’ll get back to you.” that’s it!