Jul 11, 2025
TWO T's
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TWO T's
11:26 pm
This really shouldn’t be getting under my skin the way that it is but it’s almost the exact same bullshit I went through freshman year that messed me up so, so much and I feel like I can't explain that to anyone because they won't understand.
I wish that you had never come into my life because you made me feel like I was never enough for anyone and I looked after you to the point of exhaustion and I never took care of myself. You called me pathetic and selfish whenever I did try to get away from you then you would beg for me to come help you. What kind of fucking vicious cycle did you drag me into that is STILL effecting me to this day? I don't care for you at all and I don't even acknowledge your existence anymore and yet the little bits and pieces of your abuse still creep through.
My heart is healed and I am able to recognize that I’m not selfish and that I am good enough. I am so sorry that you have to create this fictional life just to make people feel sorry for you. I refuse to become any part of it, mostly because I don't know you at all. I can't be sorry for being intertwined with you and I can't be sorry for my existence because I matter. I matter to someone and I’m sorry you can't feel the same.
I hope I can find the strength to forgive the both of you, fully. The end of 2014 and the end of 2015 were some of the darkest times of my life and I don't wish to visit them again. So please, just leave me alone.
It's probably unfair how much weight I put in spelling names correctly because most people don't really care? But it feels like a respect thing to me. Like there aren't many things that are exclusively OURS, but by god we have our names. We can at least spell each others' names correctly.
HELLO
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