I might seem normal at work but there's always a little creature in my brain gnawing on something and going feral over a piece of literature

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I might seem normal at work but there's always a little creature in my brain gnawing on something and going feral over a piece of literature
Love
I sharpened knives
All night.
To welcome you
In the brilliance of their blades,
And among them,
My love sparkles
For your eyes only.
Radmila Lazic, “Two Poems”
दो कविताएँ - पाश, बीच का रास्ता नहीं होता (1989, 2020)
illusory [19.10.2020]
My heart is tired Of being kept wrapped Like a gift Like a secret Trapped between my lungs
It wants to burst out and sing It wants to see the sun It wants to see you Shall I allow it this once?
He was pointing at the moon, but I was looking at his hand.
Richard Siken, The Worm King’s Lullaby
character development
tethered (3/8/19)
i like to think that we’re all connected by the roots of an enormous tree.
sometimes those roots break between us, sometimes they regrow.
it can take a lot of effort to create a new one.
a new connection.
and I feel like I’ve created a new root, a new growth
still stringy, still weak, still pale with lack of sunlight
and I’m trying so hard to keep it up
to keep it from withering away and decaying.
i’m so scared I won’t be able to anymore.
i’m so scared that my hopes are for nothing.
i’m so scared that the other person doesn’t want the root there.
wants it gone.
wants me gone.
but I guess that’s life.
carve (5/29/19)
slowly
carefully
i can’t let him see.
bit by bit
piece by piece
i’m getting rid of it.
i’m taking a knife
and carving
it
away.
my stomach is hit with a pang of guilt
for i’m well aware that i planted this root
i nourished it
watered it every day
willed it into existence.
but i’ve learned things.
i’ve learned things about this root
that i didn’t when i began this process
this unification
this tether.
my fingers are shaky
but i know what i’m doing.
Have a bunch of things coming out soooooooon(ish). Which is exciting. And only one of them needs to be blocked from being read by certain family members! So that’s great.