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#in which karkat's quadrants find him #happens immediately after the clown memo #two week aftermath #grimabettor #aesopianAlgedonic #technologicgodot #cranktankerousGeneticist

#circuitousGrievance #logs #two week aftermath #in which see you in 48 hours

#circuitousgrievance #in which home is here now #two week aftermath

MEULIN: -It's like pulling her consciousness through a sift, trying to wake. She's aware that something is /very/ wrong before anything else, and then the rest starts trickling in, one by one. Fear. Sadness. Pain, distinctly in her head. A sort of aching all over, nonetheless. Tears well in her eyes from the sheer familiarity of it, though her body understands better than her mind does. The urge to sob comes next, and she tries to choke it down, to understand at least where she is and what's happening as she finally manages to get her eyes open, gasping and clawing at the sheets around her.- RUFIOH: *He's been awake for hours, tripped out on the weird vision/dream he had and still aching from torn insides. Chaos had basically torn the infirmary apart and the only time Rufioh saw people, it was to bring an unconscious fucking... beat up?? Meulin into the empty bed in his room. Then there was something about clowns, an attack at the base, something about the Captain??? Way more questions than answers and all Rufioh could do was sit here and be useless. Hurt. Eventually, he slumped back into his hospital pillow and dozed, listening as the vibes outside winded down. A sharp gasp and swift movement snapped Ruf back to attention and he sits up halfway, staring over at Meulin.* ...woah, hey. meus. meus? *Damn it, can she hear him? He slowly starts to pry himself off the infirmary bed, moving towards her with a wince. Ouch.* MEULIN: -She can't hear the voice, but she forces herself upright, tears rolling out of her eyes that she can barely explain. It's this feeling in the back of her mind, this void in her memory. This terrible, dreadful knowing that she did something awful, and she looks down at her hands, expecting to see something there. The image of violet like a waterfall flashes in her mind. But just as quickly, it's gone, and there isn't any blood on her hands. She's in an infirmary gown again, cleaned off. There's nothing. But she's here once more, and she knows what that means. It's only a few more moments later that she even realizes someone is standing there, and she looks up to see Rufioh hovering nearby, hot tears rolling down her cheeks and the tight feeling in her throat making it impossible to speak, to even think.- RUFIOH: *he stares down at her, the worry increasing on his face. What happened? He would try asking the question but she's too busy welling up with tears and crying. Instead, Rufioh reaches out a hand to gently place on her messy bedhead.* 1t's cool, doll... you're safe. you a1n't even hurt1ng too bad. 1t's alr1ght. *soothing tone will fall on deaf ears but hey. He's trying anyway.* MEULIN: -She can't quite focus enough to try to read what he's saying, but she knows he's speaking, that he seems okay, that he's okay with her. She's afraid, uncertain where the rest of her friends are, terrified of... herself. But this is something. All she has at the moment, and she squeezes her eyes shut and whimpers as she reaches up for his hand. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help herself. She wants to hold onto something.- RUFIOH: *Uh, woah. No this is actually okay. Meulin is free to take up his hand as she wishes. Rufioh might even come by the edge of her bed and sit with her, arm coming to loop around her shoulders.* nah, you're cool... 1t's all okay. *vibrates faintly in chirrs of comfort. There there.* MEULIN: -She can feel that, at least, and it's familiar in a way that doesn't hurt. She leans closer into him, trying to tame this panic that's burning in her chest, to make sense of something. For now, she starts with how solid he feels, how there doesn't seem to be anything happening around them. He can't be the only one okay. When she gets a hold enough on her breathing, she tries to speak.- WH-- WHERE-- I DON'T KNOW... WHAT HAPPENED? RUFIOH: uh... someth1ng really freaky. *Doh. Well. He might as well break out a sketchbook and set it on his lap. Quickly, he scribbles a note for her to read.* <someth1ng freaky. th1nk 1t has to do w1th clowns but... 1'm not sure.> MEULIN: -Reading that through blurry eyes is more than enough for another sob to rise in her throat, but she wants to know. She tries to fight it back, her breath shaky.- I-- I H-- I HURT SOMEONE. I KN-KNOW I DID. RUFIOH: *Oh... that might explain why she looked so beat up. And the further he thinks about it, the more fucked up the whole picture becomes. Something lurches inside, all pity and hurt for this poor girl. He tries to imagine what it must be like, feeling like you have no control. Nobody to put their foot down and say enough is enough for you. It really tears him up. His pen hesitates as he writes another question.* <so you're say1ng you don't remember anyth1ng?> MEULIN: -The tears just keep rolling out as she waits, tries to put her thoughts together, and she hiccups a few times before settling enough to read what he wrote.- I'M-- M, TRYING. -But then, does she really want to? It's terrifying, not knowing, not being able to control what's happening to her. What has happened.- RUFIOH: ... RUFIOH: *jots down one more thing before setting the pencil aside* <1t's gonna be okay, doll.> RUFIOH: *he just goes back to giving her one-armed hugs, resting the base of his horn at the top of her head* MEULIN: -She doesn't know how to believe that right now -- everything's completely out of control again, right when she thought that maybe it was starting to get better. That maybe it was over. But now it seemed like she might never escape. That it would follow her, happen unexpectedly, over and over. And what could she do? She just wanted to live, and this... She couldn't understand. But even as little as it seemed compared to everything that loomed over her, this assurance was something, and she needed to cling to it. She did, her arms fitting around his waist and half using him to hold herself up.- MEULIN: I WANT THEM TO BE OKAY, -she manages to breathe, somewhere in the midst of the struggle, because maybe if she voices it now, it'll be true.- RUFIOH: *Hrrrk ouch. Well, okay. This is fine. Just tough it out, Nitram. Hugs are hugs no matter what. He ruffles a hand through her hair and writes.* <1 see them as be1ng okay... cuz you're one of us now. we're all look1n' out for you... for the good or the bad... 1t's what a tr1be does for each other.> RUFIOH: <us beforans, at least... we're all that we got left. we'll f1gure 1t out.> MEULIN: -Looking out... for her? Something about that phrase gives her pause, the concept that, despite all this, she can remember that she isn't alone. For once. Before, there was nowhere to go with her fears, her worries. No one to help her solve or even address what she thought was happening to her. But that wasn't true anymore, was it? Maybe it was time to stop ignoring it, because maybe, now, she could. She needed to. To make this stop. And she's still afraid, feeling lost, but that thought finally helps the feelings settle down in her chest, and she nods slowly, turning her face into him a little. It's difficult. She doesn't want to have to admit it. But she made a promise not to keep it in.- MEULIN: I'M SCARED. RUFIOH: *It IS scary and he doesn't blame her. Sometimes it felt like the weight of the whole world was on your shoulders and even when there were people around to help you... it's almost enough to crush you. If anybody knew it, it was Ruf right now. But he was still here for some reason, he didn't know why. Things were about as fucked up as they were before. Maybe it'd never get better. But why the fuck did it mean he had to let someone go through the same thing alone? Fuck what the universe had in mind. Fuck it trying to break them, trying to take every little shred of good they had left. Fuck it fuck it FUCK IT. That anger burns up again, narrowing his eyes but he still manages to keep his expression passive. For Meulin's sake. He sighs, steadying himself.* ... <yeah. me too.> MEULIN: -It occurs to after reading that, after thinking for several moments longer, that she isn't sure why Rufioh is here. There's a chance he was hurt, too, and that mystery is something she's more willing to focus on than her own, at least for a moment.- ARE YOU-- OKAY? RUFIOH: *Why hide it? The latest amount of fucks he had to give have been dribbling away like sand. If the dull pain in his abdomen was any indication. Rufioh just really didn't have a reason to lie right now.* <no. not really.> MEULIN: -Oh. She doesn't know why, and she's not sure she wants to ask, if he wants to share it. But he doesn't need to. Somehow, it's enough just to know they are the same here, and it aches and warms her chest in the strangest way. Either way, she's not going to let go of him anytime soon. She nods, and quietly, she clears her throat, just so she can start purring.- RUFIOH: *That's... damn cute. And she's right. It's really enough right now to be two fucked up people in the same room. But together here. He doesn't mind shifting his wings until she's comfortable enough for a snuggle. Rufioh is warm and relaxed that he meets her purrs with a few of his own. No more tears for now. There will be time for that later.*

#aerugoTourbillon #in which youre not alone #two week aftermath