Aug 30, 2014
Sometimes I want to be this super slutty pot head alcoholic person and other times I just want Casey to want me as much as I want him.
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Sometimes I want to be this super slutty pot head alcoholic person and other times I just want Casey to want me as much as I want him.
Middle Ground
So one thing to note about me is that I have trouble with balance. Caught between the two extremes, but can never find the middle. I'm either overloading or totally chilling without any regard to time. When I'm productive, I go into overdrive. When I'm chilling, I'll stay in bed for half the day and spend the other half obsessively watching shows. I either need a constant and consistent schedule or one that's totally unlimited.
This usually really helps whenever Jonathan comes around, but for regular student life it's absolutely ridiculous. It's hard for me to just give myself any time to just relax without feeling bad for it when I'm at school. It's to the point where I'll skip meals or let myself go to the bathroom as a reward for finishing a couple of assignments. It's pretty bad...
Note to self: Do things for yourself that you enjoy doing from time to time.
Funny how when I was younger I'd just want to grow up and have responsibilities and be old and now all I want is to do absolutely nothing but read novels under a tree, lie down and gaze at stars, and be anywhere else in the world than where I am now.