My userbox i made because I couldnt find anything similar
I think I kinda cooked

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My userbox i made because I couldnt find anything similar
I think I kinda cooked
Friendly reminder I dont like seeing people glorifying my source cult experiences.
I will be providing a life update soon
Sorry if this is weird but I was scrolling through your blog and and just. I just wanna hold you and tell you I'm sorry you're going through that and just hold you and be there for you and be your friend.,,just
<3
It means alot to be told this, thank you.
Im doing a bit better lately, my current partner has been helping me remember to take care of myself so I'm improving quite a bit. I have a long ways to go but I'm getting somewhere finally and thats definitely good
They remind me of Azure a bit and its nice cuz its making me feel less anxious about my obsession with him ruining my new relationship.. they're so sweet and nice to me and i really didnt expect anyone to ask me out, much less have a genuine crush on me. Do I really have redeeming qualities like that? I never thought I did but they like me so surely I must have something they see in me that they like and it makes me feel excited.
Anyone else would have probably looked at Ark and thought they were terrifying, im just glad someone likes me and honestly with how sweet they are in personality its hard to not look at them and see them as cute. I feel lucky and I feel safe and it feels kindof silly that the one who is making me feel safe and happy like this literally almost looks like the backrooms found footage entity but who am I to judge that when they're genuinely so nice and shy and pretty and sweet, I just wanna hang out with them all the time I want to get to know eachother better since we're dating now and,, aauahghgj,,, im glad I got to spend today with them to make up for what happened yesterday & all
Shitty tumblr users try to respect a vent blog challenge IMPOSSIBLE
What the FUCK were you thinking?
No, ill answer, you WERENT. You didnt stop to give a fuck about how I might react to you deciding to force me to stay with you as you relapse and listen to your trigger music knowing full fucking well it triggers me too. You didnt stop to give a damn aboht how I FINALLY had something good happen to me today and you just HAD to fucking ruin it by INTENTIONALLY MAKING YOURSELF FEEL LIKE SHIT IN FRONT OF ME and MAKING YOURSELF HAVE A FUCKING BREAKDOWN. IN FRONT OF ME. WHAT THE FUCK, CASS? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? ARE YOU JEALOUS CAUSE I FINALLY GOT A PARTNER AND YOUR STILL NOT OVER MAFIOSO?? IS THAT IT??? I ALMOST HAD AN OK DAY! IT WAS GOING SO WELL!
I really thought I was going to have a good day today, that I could start learning to be happy again. And you had to show up and fucking ruin it knowing full well I only just finally got to start helping myself be better. I told you multiple times to stop talking to me about the mental health stuff, I was so, so clear on it, and I was so clear on why I didnt want to hear it today, and you just ignored it entirely. Do you hate seeing me happy? You were doing so much better than me and you still are so why the fuck did you think it was ok to come up to me and in front of my face choose to engage in relapse behaviors and say, to my FACE, while touching my fucking HEAD, that its my fault you showed up and that im stuck with you now. All I did was send a video about roblox that HAPPENED to mention gambling in fine print on the thumbnail. And apparently my punishment was that.
I cant fucking feel bad for you right now. Im so fucking upset. You made me really upset. For spawns fucking sake where do you get off doing shit like that? I was so fucking uncomfortable the whole time. Im not your therapist im just your friend who's been in a deeper pit than you. Do you know how exhausting it is to listen to you go on and on about missing mafioso when ive had so, so many more lost relationships? You make me feel like shit. All I've ever wanted is for you to get help and work on yourself and the first thing you did when we finally got to speak again was throw it all away in my face and played triggering music to make yourself feel worse while I panicked in a fucking corner. Thats not a hangout. I felt trapped. I felt like if I left you might have done worse and I feel I would've been right.
So I tweaked out for nothing someone in psys asked me out today (since we're both desperate hopeless romantics or something) and I said yes
Honest to spawn im just glad someone is talking to me of their own volition and caring about me again.
Im hoping I dont fumble this they're really nice and I want to get over azure so I dont keep finding myself in abuse cycles.
I WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE I CAN BE WITH YOU.
I WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WHERE I CAN TALK TO YOU
I WANT TO SEE YOU, HOLD YOU, TOUCH YOU. AND YOUR GONE.
IVE TRIED TO MOVE ON FROM YOU, AND NOW I HAVE NO ONE AND I NEVER WILL.
NOBODY WOULD EVER WANT SOMEONE LIKE THIS
THE SPAWN WILL NOT PERMIT IT.