#twoxindia

[notfromanotherworld]

In India, where women work as a selfless women whose only responsibility is to take care of her family selflessly and to serve her husband and children is known as the “idol bahu” or “sanskaari bahu” (the ideal woman of the house/daughter-in-law), when a woman stands for herself, she is ultimately presented in a bad light. The same is shown in Indian television: a selfless woman who surrenders herself to her father and husband is shown as a “sanskari bahu,” and the woman who independently stands for herself is shown as the vamp of the serial.

- It’s 2019. Must TV Serials Still Show Indian Women Only As The Selfless, Sanskari Bahu? by Suman Rana

[notfromanotherworld]

87 votes and 30 comments so far on Reddit

[notfromanotherworld]

91 votes and 22 comments so far on Reddit

[notfromanotherworld]

I know that many people have found their spouse through these matrimonial sites, and had good relationships and marriages. But the thought of having caste and class as the basic filter is so repulsive to me. I still have to speak to them on the matrimonial site because my family forces me to. I am told constantly that I am source of disappointment because I won’t get married and provide grandchildren. I still am reminded every day what a massive failure I am and what a burden I am to my parents and the world, all because I am unmarried.

- My Experience On Matrimonial Sites —The Cesspits Of Humanity

[notfromanotherworld]

A colorful brothel. Scantily dressed women. Intoxicated men ogling prostitutes. These set the scene for one of the most popular item numbers in Bollywood, “Munni Badnaam Hui” from the 2010 movie Dabangg. “Munni was dishonored, just for you darling” is the unsettling, catchy chorus of the item song that continues to entertain millions in India and abroad. The ill-named “item number” typically refers to an upbeat, sexual dance performance, which has little to do with the subject matter of the film. They feature women, usually portrayed by famous Bollywood actresses, who are labelled as the item or object of the sequence. During the flashy performance, the male lead attempts to pursue the woman, thereby perpetuating a plethora of problematic ideas. The existence of the item number has become the flagship of Bollywood movies as that is what seems to attract viewers and boost box office sales. Item numbers have become such an integral part of the Indian film industry; a raunchy, provocative dance number can be expected from almost every single Bollywood film.

Objectification of women is definitive of Indian pop culture. In a country where public displays of affection are taboo, the existence of overtly sexual entertainment seems ironic. In contemporary Bollywood films, the over-sexualization of women has become the norm. It is rare to find a woman as a powerful lead whose purpose to the story exceeds that of being a one-dimensional character who serves as eye-candy. Item songs propagate the problematic notion that a woman is solely an object meant to please those around her. This is not only archaic, but a hindrance to social development in India.

- The Ill-Named Item Number

[notfromanotherworld]

Indian men are insecure when it comes to female sexuality. For them women are as good as their bodies. A young woman is desirable, a well-endowed woman is sexy. But when it comes to matrimony, only a chaste woman will do, because it signifies that she has never been touched by another man. Men still see brides as objects, a locked property to which they must have exclusive and first-time access. The fetishization of virginity among Indian men speaks so much about how they asses brides on the basis of their sexual experience or inexperience, and not their qualities. This is one of the reasons why we struggle to find equality in marriage.

The obsession with virgin brides exists even in this day and age, among urban and rural men alike. This question is around the corner for most brides, during the courtship days preceding the big day. But while many men are accepting of a partner with a past today, but do they do it happily? So while it may or may not bother many men that their brides aren’t virgins, it matters. And for the sake of matrimonial harmony, many women choose to lie.

The surge in popularity of hymen reconstruction surgeries tells us why. Men have this fascination with invading women’s bodies. Of marking conquests as if a virgin vagina is some uncharted land which they can proclaim as their own. Which they can label as their property, thus giving them bragging rights.  This obsession with chastity is also the reason why many people see rape survivors as “damaged goods” in our society. Despite having all the values and dignity this world has to offer, many such women fail to find suitable prospects, to no fault of their own. It is people like Sarkar, who make it difficult for rape survivors to live a life of dignity or find grooms. For them, as soon as you rip the packing of virginity, a woman becomes unclean and immoral.

- Indian Men’s Obsession With Virgin Brides And Female Chastity by

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao