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May 5, 2024

See you again || Ariadne & Jade

TIMING: Last Sunday LOCATION: Whitlock's Wares PARTIES: @ariadnewhitlock & @highoctanegem SUMMARY: Following a streak of Ls, Jade decides Ariadne is her next target. She's determined not to fail again. CONTENT WARNING: None

It had been all fun and games for a while, Jade had to admit. Heavy on the fun of it all. But she’d let herself be swayed from her principles, it was okay to admit it. She allowed some chiseled vampire to make her think her beliefs were all wrong (when had she ever been wrong?). Make her question whether some monsters deserved to live or not. Like humankind could be safe with a few exceptions roaming around. Acted like nuance was necessary to do her job. As if.

And… oof, as much as it hurt, she couldn’t fully blame Metzli for her downfall (they were just the easier target) (unless you were one of her stakes). Nope, the fact that she’d even listened to them had been Regan’s fault in the first place. Jade couldn’t believe she let herself be influenced so badly by a woman who wound up gone months later. It was okay to admit, almost a month after Regan had left (she was definitely not counting the days…) (definitely not counting how long had been since that cryptic message, she was doing fine), that they had been a little intense about their affair. And sure, she was still wearing the ring, but that was just cause she liked jewelry, alright? No other reason. She was determined to leave Regan behind. Regan started it anyway. She was just finally catching up.

Just as she was determined (she was!) to correct herself. She was totally not acting on impulse here. If Regan could do it, so could she. If Regan could leave (her) in the name of righting herself, then Jade could too. She could let that moment of weakness go, the same way she let Metzli go. (Wait… whose side was her brain on?).

It didn’t matter. Jade arrived at Whitlock’s wares with nothing but the blind determination (and her weapons, obviously) to follow through on her promise to double down efforts, and eradicate every undead threat there was to make up for Meztli. Whether they wanted to be good monsters or not. Ariadne should be a walk in the park. Which was what she needed after flopping so hard with Monty and Mack… And again, Metzli (What was with the letter M?) Anyway, Ariadne. She might even apologize as Jade’s blade cut through her neck. And sure there was always that twinge of… she wasn’t sure what to call it, doubt? (Nope, not that) Creeping in but that was the problem, wasn’t it? She was focusing so hard on the Metzlis of the world that she had stopped thinking about the humans for a second. Imagine that? Ridiculous. She was doing this for them, they should’ve never left her mind.

Jade had prepared, even if mares were not her usual target. After her recent losses, she was starting to realize she couldn’t just show up to a place and feel out the vibes. So, planning it was. She had her salt, her crossbow in the sling strapped to her back, iron bolts in case those worked, a couple of blades, and whatever else the store had for her in case Ariadne decided to be trickier than expected. (She fancied herself a five-finger free axe, actually). One thing was for certain. She would come out of the store victorious. She couldn’t take more Ls. So she simply wouldn’t.

The place seemed to be closing as she walked through the door, a small bell sounding her arrival. Jade let her eyes wander for a moment, taking in the space, the shelves, the potential weapons at her disposal, before her eyes landed on the young woman. She looked as tall as she remembered her. (Unfortunately). And younger, somehow. And just cause she was about to slay a little, it didn’t mean she had to be rude. Which…yeah, she had been a little over the top recently, hadn’t she? So, a greeting. “Hey babe… whoops! I mean, Ariadne. It’s been a while… you haven’t dropped food in like, weeks… I thought I’d stop by, check in with ya.” Her smile was warm, friendly. “Sup?” Had she been chewing gum, she would’ve popped a bubble.

— —

She missed Wynne. Ariadne didn’t think there was any sort of fancy way to put that, other than simple fact. She missed them, and she wasn’t jealous, but she was terrified. She didn’t know if she was really capable of being terrified, but here it was. Terror. Different than when she’d been locked in the van, but she could almost savor the flavor of it all. Which was horrifying – both to be aware of her own fear so incredibly acutely and also to enjoy it. Which made her feel sick. She didn’t enjoy it, she couldn’t enjoy it, even if Inge had said that she should try to feel better about it and even if Leila would have wanted her to love herself more than even her kindergarten teacher had seemed to. Which Ariadne didn’t mean in any sort of insult. Leila was comforting in ways that she could only dream of (which, funny, given that she wasn’t physically capable of dreaming any longer).

Still, being at her dad’s shop made things better. Somewhat, at least. Somewhat was more than good enough though, she figured. It was comforting. The smell of the hardware store was one of her favorites (though Wynne’s smell was her absolute favorite, having knocked everything else down the list by miles), but Ariadne was at home here. She’d taken her first steps here (supposedly) and she’d had her embroidery business, and everything was home and she’d already helped out a few of the regulars and had gotten back to her book, only halfway concentrating on the words on the page – which meant that it was extra good that she’d already read the book because if it was something new then she would’ve had to go back and reread even more of the book than usual.

Time passed smoothly, and it was almost closing time (and her dad had gone home, saying something about cooking some sort of chicken dish for dinner for her and Chance) when she heard the bell on the front door ring and she slammed her book shut and looked up. “I – hi.” Ariadne sighed, “I – I’m sorry.” She didn’t know why she was saying sorry. “I’ve been busy. I - uh. How can I help you?” Setting her book on the counter, she nodded to the tubs of candy. “You can take some for free, if you want. On the house.” She grinned. “But uh. We’re closing soon, but I can help you with anything you need. We got some dirt if you’re into gardening, and we have a new fancy hose. I don’t know what makes it fancy, but it’s top of the line, or something.” She offered Jade a bright smile. “Sorry again, I – uh, hi Jade. Should’ve started with that, right?”

— —

She’d do it quickly, Jade decided as soon as Ariadne apologized to her. Her belly filled with dread anytime she remembered butchering Mack to save her life. (She could still hear Jasper making fun of her for her weak belly, all those years ago). But dicing someone’s leg wasn’t something she wanted to repeat. And you know what? Sorry, tangent… What if she was getting reflux, and that’s why her belly hurt more these days? That happened when you got older, right? Huh… the math was kinda mathing. Maybe this had nothing to do with duty at all.

She looked into Ariadne’s sad eyes, her mind drifting quickly to Wynne, who was likely responsible for the sad looks. But it was just as swiftly shut down. She couldn’t think of Wynne. And she should definitely not think of Ariadne being sad either. Cause, why would she start believing there were complexities to her duty when there were none? Zero. She hunted undead, and protected humans. That covered it. The end. There was no addendum in her codes about humans Jade cared about who went on to fraternize with the undead. (So really, it was super simple). And to prove she made no distinctions, that she was fair about what she had to do, she opted out of the candies. (She! Opted out of candies!) Taking candies from Ariadne and then taking her out? Just poor form. But let’s say, after? Well, that was a different story. No candies for now. “Oh, I’m full, don’t worry” she shrugged, letting Ariadne sort out her sentences before deciding where to take the convo.

Jade tilted her head, “maybe… but everybody starts with a hi, don’t they? I dig the unconventional,” she said, drumming her fingers on the counter. She looked past Ariadne toward the small screen where a few cameras showed what was going on inside the store. She searched for blind spots. There were a couple of places she could draw Ariadne to. She could even shoot her bolts to redirect if needed. It should be fine. But right, back to Ariadne before she looked suspicious. “Busy with? Let me guess…Moping?” and like, her words could’ve sounded mean without the context of what Jade had been doing, but really, she totally understood how time-consuming getting over someone was.

Which reminded her… Fine. She was gonna have to think about Wynne whether she liked it or not. She didn’t know how to break the news that Wynne might not make it back after all. She still had Elias DMs, she knew something had gone south with them. She had Regan’s cryptic words that made her stomach churn with worry. It sounded like a goodbye even if she spoke about people leaving Ireland. Something was gonna go wrong. Something already had.

Jade had been very specific about keeping Wynne out of her mind. She couldn’t think about Wynne for too long. Wynne, who’d just been freed from their cu…community, only to end up in a second one. Who’d gone out of their way to try and make Regan understand, who up until a few messages ago still had faith they could change a stubborn woman’s mind. All that, only to die across the ocean away from the woman she loved when their life was just starting?

Nope, thinking about Wynne led to considering the complexities, and again… complexities didn’t exist when it came to hunting. If she looked at the positives, Wynne wouldn’t have to know it was by her own hand that Ariadne stopped existing. Cause Wynne wasn’t coming back. Elias wasn’t coming back. HamC wasn’t coming back. They might as well all be dead as this took place. Maybe it was better to spare Ariadne from that suffering, the way she was saving her from her undead suffering too.

The smile ever present on her face stretched into something insincere, tired. “Ooooh, show me the shovels! I’m totally vibing with gardening these days, yup.” She was all about learning lessons. Better to knock undead out and then get to work. No chance of risking them retaliating. Or in a mare’s case, hopscotching in the astral.

— —

“Candies can be worth it even if you’re full, I think.” Ariadne sighed. “But that’s fine! I’m not like, trying to force you to have candy at all!” She needed to tone down her cheeriness. Maybe. Jade was a cheerful person though, right? Not that Ariadne had much experience to go off of. The last and only other time she’d spent time with Jade, they’d both been trapped because of goo, and Ariadne didn’t remember much about that. By her own volition, mostly, which, again, not something she was keen to focus on right now. This was totally different, and Jade probably needed help or advice or something.

Even if their conversations online had been nothing short of confusing and slightly unnerving. But Ariadne chastised herself. That was rude, thinking that way. Cass and Wynne liked Jade, and Cass and Wynne were the two most important people in Ariadne’s life, so maybe she was being too quick to judge. That was always the worst stereotype about being a small towner. Which – was that a word? Also not something to focus on, but her brain was jumping around even more than it did during English class back in high school. Except she couldn’t help but jump around.

The fact that Wynne wasn’t here didn’t help. Not here here, but in town.

They’d told her that they’d come back, and come back soon, but that didn’t stop the feeling of worry from twisting up and expanding throughout her entire stomach. Like a sort of hunger, but one she managed to welcome even less than the one that came with craving fear.

Though –

she did find herself wondering, for a split second, what Jade’s nightmares would taste like.

Ariadne shook her head, physically doing whatever she could to rid herself of those thoughts. Those were monster thoughts, she had to be cruel to think those about someone who’d just showed up (smiling, no less) to her dad’s shop and wanted to talk or something. Or wanted supplies. Which was why most people came here, after all! To get supplies or to restock or just to support local businesses.

So why was she so nervous and distracted?

She figured she could blame (but not in a ‘it’s their fault’ way) Wynne not being here. Which Ariadne had already decided on, technically, she figured. It didn’t mean that she didn’t spend most of her time thinking about them, and given that she didn’t need to sleep, that just allowed for more time to think. To think and to catastrophize.

Except –

“Well, it is spring, so that makes sense.” Ariadne hopped off the stool behind the counter. “You can uh, just follow me.” Why did she feel a need to duck down? Was it all the off-handed comments Jade made about her height? She’d never felt anything but pleased about it before. Jade probably didn’t mean anything by it.

She led the two of them over to where the shovels were – shovels and some buckets and a few types of soil. “Also, uh, you – we’re gonna close soon, but I can stay back, if you want. I don’t want you to feel rushed out of here.” Ariadne tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Just – whatever you want, yeah?”

— —

Jade did want candy. And that was the whole problem, wasn’t it? She always wanted candy. Here she was, allegedly on the most important mission yet, on the verge of questioning everything, yet still thinking about stupid freaking candy. Or if it wasn’t candy, she would’ve been thinking about movies, or music, or her sims, or her cats or… Why did she have to be like this? Why couldn’t she be like Ruby, who was the gold standard for commitment? Or like Onyx, whose leadership skills would have people following him to battle. She wasn’t even like Jasper, who made up for his impulsive streak by becoming a legendary fighter. Or like Amber, with knowledge that could fill entire libraries for scribes. She was just Jade, still stumbling, still failing at this life mapped out for her as a kid, still yapping about potential, still looking for the jars of candy when she was supposed to be filled with something else. When her duty was already a full-course meal to gorge herself with. Or, if you weren’t a fan of food metaphors (which, get well soon), when there shouldn’t be anything else occupying her thoughts.

But she wanted the friends, she wanted the fun, the parties, she wanted love. (And oh, how that one hurt) (Cause she had it. She had it) (And now she was dying an ocean away).

Jade wanted candy, but the more she thought about what she was doing, and why she had to do it, and why she needed to do it, she couldn’t help but wonder if she could ever have Candy at all. If her siblings had been right all along, and her wrong. If it was an either-or type of situation.

(And if that turned out to be true, which would she choose?)

For now, the no-candy option won out. As long as she remained the type of hunter who failed, the no candy option was the only option (so, was it really an option?)

“We’ll pivot back to candies when we’re done,” she promised Ariadne, smile still forced, cause like… it was rude to decline food and stuff. (But did she deserve to eat it?) (Stop it, forget about the candies). Jade trailed behind Ariadne’s tall frame, not by her own choice but cause those long legs made it hard to fall in step. Candy tangent aside, she had the confidence to make this happen. This she would not fail. She wouldn’t. Ariadne couldn’t leave this place without having some inches trimmed at the top. “You staying back is super nice of you, I’d totally appreciate it,” see even Ariadne was being a good hunt about it. Making things easier for her. Everything was clicking into place. Sorta like her shoulder kept clicking since her encounter with Monty.

Ariadne led her to the shovels, unaware of how they’d serve the plot, and Jade was thankful for it. There were many in the lineup. And she could take any pick, which was a little tough, cause she struggled with decisions (she was allowed to insert a joke about bisexuality here, so she would). When the purpose wasn’t really gardening, did it matter which one she chose? It’d just fade into the background when Ariadne was unconscious.

Fast. Acting fast was part of what she’d failed at in the past week. Jade could chat Ariadne up a little more, (she didn’t want to, cause every road led to Wynne, which led to Regan, which led to death), but it was better to get it done quickly, like she’d promised. This young woman didn’t deserve unnecessary violence. (She was the youngest… How did that even happen? Who’d do such a thing?) (Monsters, that’s who). She grabbed the shovel closest to her, feeling the weight in her hand. She liked that it didn’t put too much strain on her abdomen or her shoulder. This was it. Ahead of her, Ariadne walked suggesting other gardening items. Jade could feel an apology rising up her throat, could feel the explanation itching to get out, but she clenched her jaw to suppress it all (ouch). Why would she even apologize? She tried pragmatism, Monty didn’t agree. She tried reasoning, Mack didn’t agree. This was what she had to do.

No thoughts, she swung at Ariadne.

Then the clatter came.

— —-

She remembered the first time she’d tried cotton candy. It had been with Chance (because of course it had been), and there was something so totally magical – the way it was there one minute and gone the next, the only thing left was the color on their tongues (it was best when the two of them got pink and blue and their tongues turned purple – again, arguably the best color, and maybe she was a Purple Girl, but so was Cass and anyhow, purple was a super awesome color. Her socks today were purple with little daisies all over them. Ariadne liked that. Even if, all those years ago, she’d asked her parents if wearing socks with plants or animals on them hurt those plants and animals – which they’d promised her they didn’t, and so she could go on wearing socks like that without any worry. Or without any additional worry, she supposed.

She couldn’t feel too weird about Jade saying no to the candy right now. Not everyone liked sweets as much as she did, and maybe Jade just wasn’t feeling it. Jade was a more grown up grown-up anyhow, and sometimes people like that didn’t want to eat sweets so much. She also wasn’t a mare, and so she probably had to worry about cavities and things like that. Ariadne wasn’t sure if it was even possible for her to get them, but she also needed to eat candy, so it didn’t really matter much either way.

“Okie dokes!” She replied cheerfully – half customer service voice and half (or maybe sixty percent) genuine. Wynne and Cass liked Jade, so Jade was good. Had to be. Wynne and Cass didn’t like bad people. “We’ll get back to that, and it’s not like the candy can go and walk anywhere!” She giggled, and Ariadne didn’t like how fake and false it sounded, but she couldn’t swallow back her laugh.

Right?

Either way, even if it were possible to swallow up a laugh, she didn’t know how to do it, and so she couldn’t very well do it right now.

So to the shovels they went. “It’s really no problem, it’s nice to do for me too.” Because then she didn’t have to hyperfocus on Wynne not being here, and not knowing when they’d be back, and how much she missed them and laying next to them and everything else they did together (both G and not-so-G rated), and having something else to do, especially something that helped someone else was good. Great, even. Gorgeous, or something like that if she was British.

British, near Ireland, Irish, and she really didn’t like the Irish. That lady in Siobhan’s office had been beautiful but mean, and Ariadne didn’t like mean people. That much was a well-established bit of lore about her (if a person – monster – person could have lore – she wasn’t sure, and made a note to ask Cass sometime, because Cass would probably know the answer to something like that).

She only halfway noticed that Jade had grabbed a shovel – it was rude to stare at someone when they were trying to make a decision and Ariadne didn’t want to pressure Jade into anything. That wasn’t what they did (they being Whitlocks).

So after a few beats, when she did turn to look at Jade, she was deeply surprised (though she hardly had the time to be surprised) to find the shovel being leveled toward her, and even more so when it struck against her shoulder and the pain was burning for a moment, and Ariadne, who liked to consider herself graceful in the least self-centered way possible, found herself tripping over her feet and falling down to the floor of the store.

“I – you – why? Why did you hit me? Or was it an accident? I’m sorry, I – it just seemed…” her voice trailed off. “I think I need to go grab an ice pack, then I can help you more.” Ariadne winced. “Could you um, maybe, if it’s not too much trouble, put the shovel down?” Wynne and Cass liked Jade, so she was good. Right?

— —

Jade shouldn’t have felt that millisecond of relief when Ariadne moved just enough for the shovel to land on her shoulder and not her head. And actually, forget about that. Why was she even acknowledging it? She didn’t. Nope. Nuh-huh. It must’ve been something else. Ariadne fell on the floor and that was what mattered. Focus. The disappointment she was expected to feel finally kicked in. Jade should've hit her in the head (right?), cause now Ariadne was on the floor but also, Ariadne had questions. Ariadne was confused. She probably wondered how a person could do such a thing. By such a thing she meant… lifting a big shovel. (Cause there was nothing wrong with the other thing).

Plus, this meant there was potential for tussling. And even if four days had her looking questionably great (like, doctors might hater her! great) (…sore subject), her body still felt achy. She didn’t wanna risk Ariadne revealing herself to be another martial arts specialist, either. Wait, wasn’t she a dancer? Yup. Nope, she definitely didn’t wanna be at the end of one of those kick-ball-changes.

Why did you hit me?

The why didn’t matter, right? Did anyone care for the why anymore? Stop it. She had to care for the why. Jade tightened her grip on the shovel. Maybe she should aim for the head, cause she was feeling a little weird having Ariadne staring up at her with sad eyes. Ariadne would fight the why, was the point. The same way everyone did. Jade used to be better at the whole disarming thing. Convincing people that they wanted this, needed this. That their suffering could end. And actually, screw that, saying she was better was weirdly humble of her. She was the best. But this town… ugh, she was gonna sound like Regan here, wasn’t she? (They didn’t rub off on each other for nothing) This town was making her worse. Putting a spotlight on all her deficiencies when the lights should only ever be angled at her face. But like, not now with all the bruises. “Don’t move, okay?” she asked gently. Ariadne deserved a why. Metzli did too, and Monty and Mack. Even if it wasn’t the why they wanted. She took a shaky breath, debating. She would’ve loved to be the type of slayer that made the hard calls, (like her siblings did). But it didn’t work with Monty. It definitely backfired with Mack. Even now! She didn’t go for the quick shovel to the head she had envisioned.

If Jade was born to do this for the rest of her life (why did her lungs get so small at the thought?), then she couldn’t do it like anyone but herself.

Jade tightened her jaw (ouch, bad idea still), preparing a speech that felt pointless. The audience had left the theater. The actors were tired and overworked. The writers… pay them. Right, how did it go again? “I’m here to help,” she’d keep trying, cause one day, someone would believe her again, and one day someone would wanna be helped. And those words would feel like they mattered at all again. “I know what you are, Ariadne. I know what you’ve been through. I’m sorry…” If no one believed in her words, why did it have to sting every time she said them? Why did she have to believe in them so hard that it felt like shouting into the void and no one was listening? Regan didn’t listen. Van hadn’t listened. Even Emilio had only half listened and he knew what this life was like. She swallowed, reaching inside her jacket, and pulling out the package of salt, which she proceeded to tear with her teeth (her jaw screamed in pain, she didn’t learn did she?). She hesitated over Ariadne. “I’m sorry no one stopped the person who did this to you,” she must’ve been a kid. A real one. A monster had put enough terrors in this girl’s mind that she stopped living. Wasn’t that horrifying? “But I can stop you from hurting others,” Jade knew enough of Ariadne to know she was not someone who wanted to hurt anyone. (Again, she was so young… why would anyone—). So Jade could prevent that, she could get ahead of the curve. Ariadne wouldn’t have to carry that guilt. “Do you like hurting others, Ariadne?”

— —

“Okay.” Ariadne responded, nearly robotically, which didn’t even make sense, but there were a lot of things about her life that no longer made sense. Her existence, for one thing. One thing that was, in fact, a very big thing. One thing that it seemed that maybe Jade took offense to. Just like that pretty blonde lady back in Siobhan’s office. She didn’t like being on the floor. Not in this way, at least. It was fun to sit on the floor while hanging out with friends, but to have fallen onto the floor after being smacked by a shovel? That was the worst. Even worse than any of the times she’d flubbed something in dance and not landed perfectly. At least when that happened it was easy to get back up, stretch, drink some water, and continue on.

She wanted to be sick. She was going to be sick, and she just wanted Wynne there to hold her, to tell her things would be okay. Even though they very much had seemed to be in a rough spot, and right now Ariadne just hoped that they were still alive. Hoped more than she could hope for anything. Because if they weren’t, then why shouldn’t she just let Jade whack her several more times with a shovel?

She did a pretty good job with sad eyes. She’d used it to her advantage as a child (though never in a cruel way – or at least she hoped it had never been taken in such a way), and so maybe Ariadne was using it to her advantage now, too. Which was only fair, right? Jade had to be nice, Wynne and Cass thought so, but Jade wasn’t acting very nice right now. Except maybe the hitting with the shovel had been an accident and maybe Ariadne was making way too much of a big deal about all of this. She could overreact sometimes.

She just didn’t think that this was one of those times. But what did she know?

It wasn’t like she was that smart.

“I – okay.” Why had she said okay? God, maybe she really was too over-accommodating. Except she then pushed herself up and away from Jade, eyes glaring at her. She knew she looked mean, she knew she looked mad, but maybe that was just how things had to be. Correction, that was how things had to be, because she felt mad and she hated how that feeling settled in her stomach.

Though Ariadne found herself thinking that she’d much rather consume anger than nightmares. It would’ve been something easier to deal with, and maybe good, if she could take away people’s anger. That wouldn’t be monstrous. What she did now was.

You didn’t have two people come after you angry at what you were if you weren’t a monster. You didn’t get locked in a van if –

she cut herself off.

Jade was sorry? That didn’t make any sense, and Ariadne froze, unnecessary breathing and all. “They – they did – I – yeah.” It wasn’t the sort of reply she’d been aiming for, not even a little bit, but it got the words out, and right now that was all that she really cared about.

“I – no.” She was back to feeling sick. “It’s – bad. It makes me bad.” She could feel a few tears on her cheeks. “I –” she gulped, far too eagerly for someone who was dead and who didn’t need to breathe or consume the air meant for humans and other people who were alive.

“I –” Jade was pouring salt around her and before Ariadne could even entirely register what was going on, there was a ring around her, and it wasn’t the nice sort of ring. Not the sort that she hoped she could match with Wynne, one day. “I – I did, I’m – I – she – I – killed someone.” Her mouth hung agape.

She hadn’t meant to say that. She hadn’t told anybody, so why had it slipped out now? “I – by accident, I didn’t mean to, I – I don’t – I –” her lip trembled, she wanted to rewind time and take back what she’d said. It was meant to be first confessed to someone like Wynne or Cass or Leila or Inge or even Chance. Maybe Nora, she’d always seemed the forgiving sort. Not to someone circling her with salt and looking at her in a way that made her skin crawl.

“Please. I don’t – I won’t – it won’t happen again. I’ll give you the shovel for free. Just – I’d like to go now, please.”

— —

Ariadne was still in shock over getting a shovel to the shoulder and Jade took advantage of that to draw the circle all around her. Circle-ish. It was more like, an oval…or a blob. It was giving paint splatter in all honesty, but it closed, alright? This was not a perfection contest (cause then she’d never be qualified to even compete). Once she was done, she returned to her position in front of Ariadne. This had been easy. A piece of cake. Maybe she should’ve gone for Ariadne first. (But there was Wynne) (Stop it, forget about Wynne). The girl did look angrier for a moment, in a way it resembled a kicked puppy, but anger anyway. And… Finally. Seeing the reaction gave Jade an untimely sense of pride. Had things been different, Jade would’ve been cheering for her. In an alternate universe, where Ariadne hadn’t been cursed to inflict nightmares in others, she did (or maybe, an alternate universe where she hadn’t been handed a stake, a knife, and the mission to keep humans safe) (not that… why would she want an alternative to that? She was already living her best life!). But things were not different (couldn’t be), so why even dwell on it?

Ariadne’s anger was gone once Jade began to make her case, replaced by confusion then… guilt. She leaned the shovel against the shelf, its job done now that Ariadne wouldn’t be going anywhere. The package of salt stayed in her hands, just in case. Ariadne was agreeable, and sad and… of course, she understood why things needed to be done, why correction was necessary. Jade could almost smell victory. (Except she’d lost the sense of smell. Like, she knew it was there, you know, but where?). Ariadne thought she was bad, but nope, this was what a good person, a fair person, a selfless person who carried the burden of their nature should…

I killed someone

Jade heard the record scratch. (It was probably someone moving furniture somewhere). An accident… she vaguely registered, before she heard nothing but the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Her breath picked up pace processing what had definitely been a murder confession.

She was too late. She was too late and Ariadne had already lost control. A sweet kid (albeit, a bit of a pushover) had to carry the death of a human with her. All cause some (likely) bitter, old mare decided to scare this young woman to death not long ago. She felt a pang of sympathy, she did. Was this not evil? She was so young. But Jade couldn’t let Ariadne go, let her become the same bitter mare who would go on to harm others in a decade, in two, in a century, maybe. (Without considering, of course, the times she might lose control). “It will happen again,” and Jade had the decency not to sound righteous or cocky as she said it. “But it doesn’t have to. I’ll make it stop.”

Ariadne’s lips didn’t have to tremble, she didn’t have to cry for Jade to believe her genuine regret. She saw it all the time. She’d seen it in Metzli, she’d seen it in Mack too. And in the countless people she’d had at the end of her stake, or her blade. (Names she might forget, but faces? Eyes? Those were ingrained in her memory) (It would be irresponsible to forget). But regret and good intentions wouldn’t stop tragedy from happening. It was just… the nature of unlife. (Was she not a believer that good intentions mattered?) (Stop it, that was for humans only). “I don’t think you can go now,” and Jade shouldn’t be using the word think at all. She couldn’t go now. There, that’s it, confident. Jade turned around, gaze darting around the aisle. Spotting the one thing that would work for this: an axe. “But I can… I will… I’ll keep your secret, okay? No one has to know what you did,” and Wynne would likely never return to find out. (Forget about Wynne).

She looked back at Ariadne. Nope, mistake. She averted her gaze away from those sad eyes, moving toward the shelf at the end of the aisle to retrieve her weapon of choice. The walk felt long. Longer than the couple of steps it actually took to get to the shelf. The weight on the axe was bigger than it should be. Her breath was shallower than the one from a confident slayer. Her heart beat wild, and that was the freaking problem. She was always picking up the beating of her heart these days. But that’d stop. She’d make it stop. She would make sure that when she tipped her axe forward, she would hear nothing but the whistle of the blade, and the thud of the head falling on the ground. She would.

— —

Somehow, for whatever reason, the salt being placed right around her felt even worse than when that man (Rhett. When Rhett…) put stuff around his stupid stupid van. This felt cruel, and Ariadne figured it was okay to call something cruel when someone was trying to kill you. She didn’t know why she didn’t run before the full oval-circle-blob was formed, but she was still quite a bit startled from the whole shovel bit. She didn’t know why she couldn’t stop just… staring at Jade. Jade, who knew Wynne and Cass and who she wanted to trust but really, really wasn’t sure if she could. Because it was kind of sort of absurdly hard to trust someone who hit you with a shovel and locked you in a ring of salt.

Her gaze locked in on the salt that was still in Jade’s hands and she wanted to scream that she wasn’t going anywhere, and could Jade very much please just drop the salt, because it was making her all the more nervous just looking at it. Nervous and sick and panicked and sad. Extremely sad. Did that make her pathetic? she wondered. Probably, she answered herself, because asking was absolutely not in the cards and anyway, it was probably what Jade would’ve said. Wynne didn’t think she was pathetic, but they were all the way in Ireland. Cass didn’t think she was pathetic, but she also wasn’t here right now. She was in town, but she was elsewhere.

She really didn’t know how the fact that she’d murdered someone had managed to slip out. It wasn’t like Ariadne was a bad secret-keeper, but she certainly wasn’t the best, and yet she’d sat on this for so long. Nobody knew, and now someone who was going to kill her knew. She kicked her feet, the salt stopping them from moving very far, but the sentiment was there. Ariadne hoped Jade got that. Got that she was mad. She’d been very angry this week, and it wasn’t a feeling that she especially loved, though she had to admit that it felt better than being afraid. It felt less weak.

Even though she was weak. If she was already pathetic, then why not add weak to the list?

“I know it will.” She gulped in a large breath of air that she didn’t need (so why not add selfish alongside pathetic and weak?), “I know. I am so careful, I promise, I’m –” she couldn’t steady herself, her words. Why couldn’t she? She wanted her mom. She wanted her dad. She wanted Wynne. Cass. Someone to be here and save her and tell her everything was going to be okay. Ariadne could accept that lie for now. Even if she didn’t want it to be a lie. Even if she so very much wanted everything to really, for real, be okay.

“You’ll make it stop?” She sniffed, looking up at Jade (she was shorter than her now, which probably made Jade feel good, since she also seemed to really have a thing against Ariadne’s height). “I – I have to feed. I’ve tried. I’ve tried. I’ve tried.” Her lip quivered, tears appeared in her eyes.

She couldn’t go. Ariadne’s legs shot straight back against her chest and she pulled them tight there. She couldn’t go and Jade was going to kill her and she was never going to get to tell Wynne that she wanted to be more than just their girlfriend, that maybe she wanted to marry them, and it was a lot to think, not even a year into dating, but she couldn’t stop thinking it. They wouldn’t be able to have forever together (a thought that pained her incredibly, and one that stayed in her mind far far too much), but she wanted to be with Wynne for the rest of their life, if they wanted that. But now she’d never know. She’d never get to be best friends with Cass for hundreds of years. Cass had been left so alone for so long, and Ariande didn’t want to be someone else who left her.

“You’ll – I – okay.” Thanks hung on, just behind her lips, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Maybe that was rude, or maybe that was some sort of growth, Ariadne didn’t know (and she sometimes wondered if there was always a difference) but she did know how she felt and she didn’t feel good, and she did feel mad, and she maybe possibly hated Jade.

Hate didn’t sit well with her, though, and so she slid back to anger, which was nearly the same thing in a lot of ways, but felt better, somehow.

“I don’t —”

She watched Jade walk to the end of the aisle, to the stupid axes that her father kept around because they did make decent money off of them. “Just – please – leave me alone!” She screamed, though Ariadne wondered if it came out sounding more like a desperate mouse’s squeak than anything real and solid.

— —

Even in her fight, Ariadne understood her reality. It would happen again. And nobody won if it did. The girl would have to live with the guilt, a human would be dead. Metzli was careful too, Jade thought when Ariadne tried to make her appeal. Metzli had promised to be careful, and then ended up attacking someone just weeks after Jade let them go. She couldn’t fall for that again. That would make her stupid! And she was not stupid (that was just… the role she played). She knew what she had to do, why she had to do it, and what would happen if she didn’t do it. And of course, just thinking about that reminded her of Van, of how she’d looked at her when she found out she was a slayer. (It didn’t matter. Forget about Van) (And Wynne) (And Elias) (And Regan).

“I will,” she promised when Ariadne repeated her words. Yup. She was putting a stop to this. But her patience wore thin the more Ariadne pleaded. “I know,” her words came out rushed, a little too eager to cut off Ariadne. To stop that sad look on her face. Cause a young girl making a case that she'd be better, that she’d tried harder was giving Jade the weirdest sense of deja vu. Except… Whose memories were those? (Not hers, cause… she’d always been a hundred percent down with the cause). “I’m sure you’ve tried. I bet you’re tired of trying. Are you not? It’s not your fault… losing control. Just like it’s not a vampire’s fault to crave blood. It’s not a zombie’s fault that brains taste like a full course meal,” but that didn’t make it right. It didn’t excuse murdering humans for it. It’s nothing personal, she said. Except… she didn’t say it. Nothing came out of her mouth.

Her boots echoed against the floor as Jade made her way back to Ariadne, and in a way muffled the beat of her heart. Good. Cause she didn’t need to hear that. The girl looked nervous, as someone trapped with nowhere to go usually did. Ariadne had killed someone, that was all she needed to know. The only justification needed for what she had to do. She thought of Metzli (again), also a murderer, but who Jade had let go in a moment of weakness. She would not be weak this time. Regan wasn’t here to question this. Van didn’t wanna talk to her anymore. Wynne was likely dying in Ireland (if they hadn’t already). Nothing was stopping her from doing this.

Ariadne, like Jade, had to burn young so many others could grow old. But only one of them had understood this already.

And Jade had to prove herself that she was still good! That a few hiccups didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. She would prove her commitment. How much more committed could she get than taking out the youngest undead she’d ever seen? (She was so young) (So, so young) (What life could she even have ahead like this?). Her D would not go limp again. She couldn't let someone go again. This wasn't Miss Congeniality, this was life or death.

It’s nothing personal. Come on, that was her line, she had to say it. Say it. She was supposed to say, cause it was the best replacement for what she really wanted to say. (But Ruby had taken those words from her vocabulary years ago). Jade hovered closer, circling around Ariadne to figure out the best angle. Yup. That was what she was doing, why she was taking her time. She needed… the perfect angle. The words weren’t coming, and Ruby was breathing down her neck like she used to, expecting certainty. Just give her a second, geez!

It’s nothing personal, she was supposed to say. “I don’t…” her mouth betrayed her. She clamped her teeth down to prevent anything else from escaping. Jade held herself, just in time before she could finish her sentence with ‘wanna do this’. Those words… almost said out loud, for the first time since she was what, eight? ten? And Onyx came home with a ‘surprise’ vampire for her to stake (her first one). Nope, that didn’t happen. She steeled her gaze, erasing any trace of doubt from her features. ‘But I have to’ was implied in her eyes. Actually, scratch that. But I will. She had to. Cause if she didn't, what happened to Ariadne would keep happening. And she couldn’t let it happen again. She wouldn’t. This was a choice. Her choice, no matter if Van didn’t see it. If Regan didn’t get it. No one was forcing her to do this. She could own up to this. (Was it also her choice at five? At eight? at thirteen?) ( Probably! She really did love hanging out with her siblings). She’d rather Ariadne thought her a monster than a failure. “I forgive you, okay? For killing someone, it has to be a horrible thing to do”.

She didn’t realize she was breathing fast until she had to speak again and there was no sound. She felt a little lightheaded actually. Breathe. She got this, she’d learned all the techniques. (Four seconds breaths. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold)

(One, two, three, four) (It felt a lot more like, one, two…one, two)

“I need you to hold still”.

— —

“Okay.” She responded, once again a squeak, barely even audible, but Jade had to hear her, didn’t she? Jade and her smile and her smile and the deeply unsettling way that she looked at her. Ariadne didn’t like that. She also didn’t like that she didn’t like that (which was a whole other complex circle of feelings), but Jade was still here and she was still trapped in a salt blob and she was still angry and it was a whole lot for her to process. It was too much, and she thought, if only for a moment, that maybe it was easier to just give up, because this was the third time she’d been almost killed in a year and there had to be some sort of bad in her for that to happen. Plus, Jade now knew that she’d killed someone and nobody else knew that and Ariadne felt enough shame about that alone to curl up and sob for who knew how long.

“I try every day.” She squeaked again. “I don’t – I – I don’t hurt people.” She tried to think of what Inge and Leila had told her. Celene was a non-starter because Ariadne hadn’t even known her long enough to form any real sort of opinion on her (not that she never formed opinions on people right when she met them – Wynne had been ‘cool and the most gorgeous person alive’, Cass had been ‘super smart and awesome’, but with Celene it had been different. How did you form an opinion on the person who’d literally killed you?)

Though she was forming quite a lot of opinions on Jade, who was also trying to kill her.

Number one opinion: She didn’t like Jade. It was a gut-twisting feeling because Cass and Wynne did like her, but she figured it was probably more than okay to not like somebody who was actively trying to murder you for what you were. Which was a monster (maybe, but also not. Inge had said not.) But she didn’t hurt people and she even only went after people who were jerks. Like boomers who didn’t tip or people who were mean to animals or people who were just cruel.

Not that any of that seemed to matter to Jade.

Number two opinion: She was hungry and she was tired. Belatedly, she realized that the candy she’d brought with her was back behind the checkout counter, and so that wouldn’t do anybody any good. Well, wouldn’t do her any good. If she was going to die, then she supposed she could be selfish now.

She probably had more opinions but she couldn’t focus on them right now.

Ariadne dug her nails into the side of her hair. Once she’d accidentally locked herself in a toy chest while playing hide-and-go-seek with Chance. Thankfully, she’d gotten let out after not too much time (she’d been a noisier child, at least sometimes, at least when there had been the chance to outdo her cousin at something).

This wasn’t fun and she wanted to tell Jade that she was never allowed in the shop again. Jade had been so nice (at least Ariadne thought so) when the two of them had been trapped with Ollie and with Mack. But maybe that hadn’t been real, or maybe she’d been too wide-eyed and eager and wanting to impress the cool and pretty Adult Adult. She did have a problem with that, she could acknowledge that. Which was growth? Not that growth did much good at all when you were about to die.

Again.

She slid her legs around so that she was sitting on top of her feet.

“You’ll forgive me?” That was unexpected, and she did a double take, and she wished that she were at home re-watching one of her favorite movies (maybe Dirty Dancing, because that one made her think of Wynne non-stop, what with it being what had led to their first kiss and everything). She wanted to kiss them again, desperately, to know that they were okay and alive and so that she would live through this. She was never going to kiss them again. Ariadne let out another choked sob and she felt tiny and insignificant again. Jade making her feel like that only served to make her feel all the more uneasy around the woman.

“Please.” She begged again, at Jade’s insistence that she hold still. “I just – please.” Her hands found her snowdrop necklace from Wynne, her yellow topaz one from Cass. To her neck. “Leave me alone!” She said, finally mustering up the energy to scream, and she hoped it startled Jade, hoped it made her feel surprised. “I didn’t wanna, and just please leave me alone. People will know I’m gone.” Right?

Ariadne clenched her fists together, hands dropping for a moment from her neck, before they shot right back up. “I’ve never been super good at staying still.”

— —

(One, two, th…crap. Again. One…nope. One, two. One, two. To four. One. (Shudder). Oh, she was getting that stitch under her ribs. One, two, three, four. Hold. One, two. Too shaky. Crap)

“Okay. Okay. I get it. Yup. I should… I’ll knock you out first. I get it. You miss the shovel” Jade nodded, focusing on her axe and not Ariadne on the ground. Was it sweat… collecting on her neck? The Whitlocks had a terrible AC system out here. That was why her body was reacting all wrong. Why everything felt so suffocating. Her mind supplied part of Ariadne’s words that she had missed while… strategizing her kill. “I forgive you,” she huffed, hazel eyes finding blue ones. They were not the kind of blue that was familiar to her. (Maybe for the best). But still, she wanted to get the message across. She didn’t think less of Ariadne for killing someone. She hated that she’d already lost control of her hunger. She hated that it would keep happening. That no matter how hard she tried, she would not leave this world a better place (but she’d try, she’d keep trying, she had to). It did mean Jade had to deal with her. That was just… the job. (Best job in the world!)

People will know I’m gone. Who? The parents who didn’t notice for weeks, maybe months the fact that their kid was being terrorized to death? Wynne? Well, they were in Ireland, on what looked like a one-way visit. Wynne, who was doing what Jade should’ve… what she could’ve… but she didn’t. (Some people were just built different) (And maybe, when she felt like throwing herself the rare pity party, she’d dwell on how incorrectly she was built). Did Ariadne know Van? Cause Van already hated her, so what was another nail in the coffin? Or Cass? All those kids knew each other. They belonged somewhere. Imagine that. “That’s… um, well that’s a problem for later, I guess,” she never worried too much about problems that didn’t exist yet. She couldn’t even finish thinking Carpe Diem, cause even that reminded her of Regan.

Regan… (nope, bad idea) (forget about Regan). She thought of Van, and that look on her face when she found out about Jade’s duty. It still haunted her on those lucky nights she managed to conceal sleep. More would come, that was for sure. If Ariadne was truthful about people missing her. It was fine. She had this. She did. Jade had handled those looks since she came into the world, unwanted. And like, it was disgust for different reasons, but it all looked the same to her. Behind a person’s eyes, there was no reasoning, only the feeling. And that feeling she sure had followed her since the beginning. Maybe, in a way, it was comforting too. Familiar. Warm, even. So one more of those? Bring it on.

For one moment, Jade felt conviction kindle again in her heart. It was not personal. Making it personal was the downfall of every hunter. Enough of this. Do it. She had failed Metzli, but she would not fail Ariadne. And she would be better for it. Everyone would be better for it. This was her chance and she’d take it.

Jade lifted the axe, hoping the determination on her face would shock Ariadne enough to hold still. So she wouldn’t bring out the shovel again. But maybe kicking her down would work too, pressing her boot against her chest. Restrain her like she would a log of wood, if she were into that (she wasn’t, the forest sucked). But she went ahead and did the stupidest thing she could’ve done when she was finally getting hyped up to follow through: Her gaze landed on Ariadne’s, again. Which unlocked her ears to the girl’s pleas, unlocked her heart to ache and beat and roar in a way that felt wrong. Why would her heart protest if she was fulfilling her duty? If she was born for this? Why was every part of her still fighting her on it like she was nine and didn’t know any better?

The more she stared into Ariadne’s tear-filled eyes, the heavier her axe felt. She wasn’t sure how the air was getting into her lungs anymore, or if it was at all. Did they hurt you first?

Pft. This was Van’s fault. And why did she side with undead instead of Jade? Ariadne didn’t hurt her first, but she hurt someone first. So see, it was that easy. She was right. She should prevent this from happening again. She would. So, do it.

If she was so right, why was her arm stuck mid-air like Regan’s promise to not harm Metzli was still in effect? What was her excuse now? Why did one small rebellious part of her want to wonder about the complexities? (Don’t think about Wynne) Had Ruby not silenced them enough? Had her sister not snuffed out that fire in her like she believed? She inched closer, axe tight in her hand. But not for long, she felt the cold sweat on her grip. It didn’t matter if she had doubts, as long as she didn’t act on it. (What if Ariadne found a way to feed without killing? Nope. That demanded control. Control undead didn’t inherently possess. It just… it didn’t work like that. But what if?). It didn’t matter if for the split second Van’s face crossed her mind, Jade had considered lowering her axe. It didn’t. Cause if Ariadne’s head was on the ground by the end of this, it would not count as failure. It wouldn’t. She was not— she would not—

(What if intentions, good intentions should also be considered when it came to undead?)

(One. Two. One. One (get it together). Breathe) (She couldn’t).

And if…if she blurred the ring by stepping on it, would that be... it was human error, right? It was not letting Ariadne go. Cause Jade couldn’t do that. Cause she was a slayer who slayed (nobody cared about the right past form, alright?), not a slayer who hesitated, not a slayer who didn't know her codes. Not a slayer who would perpetuate the cycle. And exceptions were exceptions for a reason, and she made hers when she let Metzli go. But she had Ariadne, a killer, right there in the blob of salt, for her to end this, and a good slayer would not pass up on the opportunity. They would not. It was black and white.

Yup. Too bad… too bad about her slippery boots. She’d been told to wear sneakers, you know? But then she was losing vital inches… to kiss tall people or kill giant spawns, either or. Too bad she approached too quickly, (too eager to kill Ariadne, of course!), and her heel swept the salt away. Too bad she moved clumsily close to Ariadne, to give her time to knock her out, should she be inclined. Too bad her eyes dipped to the ground, signaling where exactly she’d left the opening, then climbed slowly back to Ariadne. Too bad. Cause her eyes said otherwise. Her eyes told Ariadne she would do this. Cause that was what a good slayer would do. And she was a good one. (She would be). Too bad she just wasn’t perfect enough. But well, that was par the course for her, wasn’t it? She lifted the axe over her head, intent on sticking right above the girl’s shoulder, next to her face. But Ariadne didn’t know this. Ariadne just needed a few seconds to gather her thoughts, let survival instinct kick in, and finish this for the both of them.

— —

“I – no –” except at least being knocked out would mean that maybe she wouldn’t notice dying. Which didn’t make it all good, but at least it made the idea of it easier to deal with. Still. She didn’t want to die. Or re-die, or whatever the terminology was. Semantics (that was the right term to use, right?) and all that. She hated semantics right now. Ariadne also hoped that that was the right thing to hate, because she’d feel bad about hating something that didn’t deserve it. She didn’t know if, even if semantics did mean what she thought it meant, that was the right thing and idea to hate. Maybe she just did because it was easier than fully admitting that she hated Jade.

She hated Jade and she felt ashamed that Jade could adore the two most important people in her life and yet want to kill her. “I’d never hurt Cass or Wynne,” she said, trying to sound strong, though it came out as far more of a whimper of sorts. Which, again, weak. She was weak. There was no use arguing against it. She stunk at standing up for herself and she stunk at being a mare and she stunk at faking being human. Ariadne tried to avoid those particular flavors of spirals but there was something about being stuck in a salt circle (a crummy circle, but it was a circle) that made it hard to avoid spirals.

“I – yeah – I miss it.” She twisted her face into something nearly resembling disgust, though she didn’t know how well that came across. “The shovel.” Her body shuddered involuntarily in response. Now she was a liar, too? How much worse of a person could she get? Though, at least in Jade’s mind, she wasn’t a person.

So maybe she wasn’t a person after all.

She really wanted to be in Wynne’s arms right now. Except they were in Ireland and they’d said it was bad there and what if they never came back? There she went, on a spiral again. But she wanted Wynne’s arms and their smell and the way that they brushed her hair and the way that their lips felt on her neck and her lips and everything. She was brought back to their first kiss in her car, and how (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life now held an even more special meaning than it ever had before.

But Ariadne knew that she shouldn’t think about Wynne too much.

– but would they be okay without her around? Would they come back from Ireland? Would –

She cut herself off. Hated herself a little more for the fact that she’d left her phone behind the counter and so she couldn’t send Wynne or Cass a goodbye text. One that said thank you and I love you and assured them that they were the best ever. Which she said as often as she could, but Ariadne figured that was a good last set of words for someone to have. Except that they wouldn’t have that because she’d left her phone in her bag behind the checkout counter. How absolutely foolish.

Maybe she could hum an ABBA song, or something from Fleetwood Mac, or anything, and let that distract her. Except she was drawing a blank, and she never did, not when it came to music she loved. Something really was messed up.

Ariadne supposed that thinking the situation was messed up when someone was about to cut of your head was reasonable. At least it wouldn’t be as long as the van had been. It would be over and done with, and she wouldn’t have to panic for a whole entire week. Which was better.

She just had to tell herself that over and over again, and maybe eventually she could convince herself. But Ariadne knew that it was a lie and she didn’t like lying, and lying to herself right now felt awful. Though hadn’t she lied to herself enough? Every day since she’d killed that girl. Every day since she was turned, if Jade and the blonde lady and other people like them were to be believed.

Which, maybe they weren’t, but right now she saw no reason not to believe them.

Oh god, had she outed Mack to Jade? Her mind flashed back to the community circle. But if Jade could tell what she was then she could probably tell what Mack was without Ariadne’s help. Like Emilio could. Oh god, Emilio.

He wasn’t useful to think about right now. He hadn’t wanted her dead, and so why did Jade?

Her gaze met Jade’s and she narrowed her eyes for a moment. The urge to scream at her still present, though said screams were trapped in her throat. She figured she could pull off her shoe and throw it at Jade, but she was still frozen. Somewhat. Mostly. She was too focused on watching Jade’s every move to do much of anything else. That much was distinctly true.

Which made her spot Jade’s boot smudging the circle. Something that had to be an accident, but one that Ariadne couldn’t keep her eyes away from. Because maybe she could take advantage of that. It probably made her more of a monster, but she couldn’t well astral project away right now (thanks to the salt), and so trying to use something else to her advantage was good, right?

But what if Jade convinced Wynne and Cass that she was bad? If, hypothetically, she got out. She didn’t want to live in a world where her partner and her best friend hated her. Ariadne liked to figure that they wouldn’t change their minds on her so quickly, but there was still the doubt that wouldn’t leave her thoughts. Except that – there was a break in it, and she wanted to live – she wanted so badly to live – and maybe Wynne would come back from Ireland and everything would be mostly all okay again.

So she steadied herself and then just went for it.

Ran through the small hole – or was it a break? – in the salt and ran over to the counter. What if Jade wrecked the store?

She grabbed her bag and the fire extinguisher they kept behind the counter, holding it out to Jade as she made her way around the counter and towards the door. Her parents would probably be okay with the store being wrecked so long as she was still alive (or, well…). Even if they weren’t, she wasn’t sure she could risk being in the store any longer.

“Leave. Now. Stay away from me. I — you’re mean. I don’t like mean people. Please go away.”

Ariadne stepped through the door, only then dropping the fire extinguisher. She jumped at the noise it made, and narrowed her eyes. “Leave me alone. I – please. I don’t – just go away.”

— —

Ariadne finished the job. (Smart girl). She spotted the opening and used some of that dancer's grace to move fast, sashay away or whatever, as someone who wanted to live would (why she would want to live, still beat her, but). And Jade? She refused to acknowledge the initial feeling crashing her body as soon as the girl pushed past her to get her out of the ring. (It felt like… why would it feel like—) (She should be ashamed, disappointed, angry, or shame… that one usually kicked in first, not… not that). She shook the emotion with a tense breath, chest heaving and oh, her lungs worked again (traitors). But her heart was pounding in her ears, somehow it felt like it had squeezed into her throat, and might come out of her mouth if she dared to speak. The girl got out. Which meant… well Jade was outsmarted. That was all. It wasn’t like Metzli 2.0. No need to spiral. Yup.

Jade swung the axe, releasing the energy she had built up by making a big dent on the floor. Good enough. It would’ve worked on Ariadne, for sure. If she hadn’t escaped, which she did. By her own volition and with no help. Yup.

She should… she had to move. Jade couldn’t hear very well, cause her head was underwater or something. So thinking was out of the question too (and good, cause that wouldn’t be helpful right now). But she sensed the movement around her, she sensed Ariadne rush back to the counter, and unlock something. Maybe a weapon in case she decided to follow. And actually, she would’ve (should’ve) finished the job, right? Go for that classic horror movie chase. Maybe, if her body wasn’t stuck. Nope, not stuck, what was she? Shaking. Her arms were trembling, her legs felt like jell-o. Just exhaustion. She was exhausted. How come she didn’t notice before? She was spent cause… she held the shovel and the axe for too long. And her body was still weak from Mack’s beating, and Monty’s shooting and Max’s stabbing. Yup!

Turning around, she caught sight of Ariadne all the way out, by the counter (good. Wait…) holding onto the fire extinguisher. A threat spilled from the girl’s lips as she stepped closer and closer to the exit door, until she vanished. Jade’s enhanced hearing was useless when she needed it, the sound reached her ears but she processed zero of the words. It was nothing nice, probably. Like, definitely not an invitation to come back. (Terrible customer service, in that was the case).

Jade stood there, staring at the door, waiting for her heart to chillax. Breathe. She could breathe now, at least. So time passed by. (A minute? Two hours? Hard to tell). Until she felt herself coming back to her body, until her legs were ready to move again. Which was perfect, on the one hand, but on the other... Reality started to weigh in. Her brain was excited to get her up to speed with her most recent terrible choices. She had… failed again, hadn’t she? She would tell one story, sure. No one would really know what happened. But she knew the truth. She knew she’d let Ariadne go. That was literally what failing her duty meant.

And… she should’ve seen it coming, actually. She was so good at picking up foreshadowing. She knew she had allowed people to worm their way into her head, into her heart again. Sway her from… she was getting worse, actually. She confirmed it. Whatever doubts Regan and Van and Metzli, and even Wynne had planted were now rotting her head. She couldn’t even take Ariadne out. That was a new low.

When would her mistakes end? And why did she do that? (It was rhetorical, thank you. She didn’t need to see Van’s face again. Or Regan’s) (Well, she would’ve loved to see Regan’s face again but… that was never—yup. It was fine).

But she had to make this right. Right? Totes. She couldn’t have two exceptions, that wasn’t… That was wrong. And she was never wrong. She’d rectify this, she would. Even if she burned a few bridges to get it done, even if Van or Cass or Wynne never spoke to her again. Whatever means necessary. It was the price to pay for fulfilling her duty. And she was still devoted to it. She was. (She was, right?) She was.

#w: ariadne #w #wickedswriting #!#ty emily

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