#ugh long

[prince-protection-program]

Honest opinion of everyone in Selphia. Starting ... NOW

"Er-.. Alright.

Frey is my closest friend I'd presume. She's very easy to get along with.. Along with Lest. Bishnal is very kind.. Always working very hard, which I can understand. He's a good company. Clorica is.." Pauses, sighing. "Dolce.. Ah- she's different. Her clothing style is quite fun to see each day, but that thing.." Clears her throat. "Illuminator" Pauses, chuckling. "She's a character in her own, very open in the world, the way she see's things. Much unlike her brother, Doug. Though I will admit I enjoy his company. A tease but.." Flusters slightly. "I suppose my own brother needs to be counted for, doesn't he? I do love and care for Kiel much more than I feel I show. I wish I could be a better sister for him at most times. Kohaku is.. A child. I don't see much of her or her shop for the reason that she gives me a headache. Too much.." Motions her hands. "That." Heaves another sigh. "I suppose because Dirasu did live in Selphia, he would be included in this.. He's what one would call a frenemy I believe. Though I do quite like when things are on the friend side more than the latter. Leon is another interesting one, he keeps to himself up most of the time. And when not, picks on the others."

[prince-protection-program]

Lessons @Dirasu

Forte had looked outside her window early the next morning after talking to Dirasu, happy to see the sun shining high in the sky. She grinned to herself, stripping off her pj's and sliding into a more casual outfit. As she finished tying up her boot she stopped herself, wondering if it would be more practical to already be wearing her swimsuit under her clothing. After another half hour or so of finding the damn thing, she was now ready again. A little uncomfortable in such revealing clothing, but Forte quickly brushed the thought away. They would be underwater anyway.

She opened the door, letting the Spring breeze hit her face. Remembering that he had mentioned meeting her at the castle she disregarded the information. Exploring the forests would be more fun for her anyway. Making her way to the clearing, she stopped and took in the surroundings, breathing in the fresh smell. Being so used to an area and having to learn it all over again was a little strange to her but fun in the same sense.

After going around in circles for quite awhile, a shack appeared in her vision. It reminded her of Skye's in a way and something was telling her this was the place. Quietly Forte walked around it, observing his house. It was a cute area, much different than the other houses in Selphia. Watching the smoke leave the stack, she wondered her way around to the front, gently knocking on the door.

"Hello, Dirasu?" she asked yelling. "It's me Forte! I hope it's not too early for me to be coming.." Looking up at the sky, she noted it couldn't be much past noon. 

[peemachine-blog]

i feel far too possessive of a cosplay i decided to do two days ago, also i have a lot of whiny feelings about cosplay in general

i was looking for tutorials and patterns and stuff for it and i stumbled across the cosplay list of someone in our like main original sacramento area homestuck cosplayers and

she listed the cosplay i've gotten really excited to do as first on her works in progress and i don't know if that means it's like close to finished or just a priority or if the list order doesn't matter at all or what

but

but now i am SO SCARED AND MAD THAT SHE MIGHT END UP DOING IT AT THE SAME CON????? I DON'T

i have SO MUCH INSECURITY about my cosplays because they are not exactly good because i don't have the MONEY to make them good or too much in the way of sewing skills like i've got a knack for it but never the materials but i still try and end up more often than not doing like humanstucks or casual character-inspired cosplays or whatever (like my audrey hepburn kanaya and dapper rose) but for sacanime winter i'm REALLY TRYING and digging for the cheapest decent wigs i can and all this stuff so like

ugh ugh ugh see i haven't ever seen anyone else do this cosplay so it'd be cool to be, you know, like i guess noticeable in that way where--where the novelty of your outfit makes any missing bits or flaws a little more okay? because you're doing something rare?

but if i put it together the best i can and then i go and there's someone in the same cosplay who has FAR more resources than me and is generally more outgoing and therefore popular

i will claw my face off i will die i have a stupidly massive issue with wanting to be part of the general group of, you know, PEOPLE AT A GIVEN CON COSPLAYING HOMESTUCK and people all know each other or find it easy to GET to know each other and they have the time and resources to have good accurate cosplays so then when things happen like

like when i'm my not-canon-but-canon-inspired kanaya costume (based on her black and white dress) and i've thought a lot about the styling and stuff and i feel like.... my hanging around the homestuck group with a big shawl in kanaya's color

would make it obvious that i'm a human kanaya

and then another, far more canon kanaya asks who i'm supposed to be as if it's weird that i'm hanging around the homestuck group

fdjadljdajdsljaldslasjfla i KNOW i could have done more to make it clear but that still is really bothersome!

or when i'm in vriska's canon outfit and also carrying around a giant 8 ball but don't have a wig or horns and don't get recognized as vriska

ugh it's just really ass and makes the day into a constant reminder of how other people have more money to do fun cool things than me because lol lol i can't afford wigs and contacts and stuff

but that should get better for sacanime winter!! i have a vriska wig and scri is making my horns, and the awesomehouse group just basically has a massive communal thing of gray PAX, and i'm literally not asking for anything for christmas other than stuff like contacts and fabric and cash so i just

i just really hope for once i can feel like an actual part of the community and not end up feeling discouraged and ashamed of my cosplay halfway through the day and as selfish as it is i'll feel a lot better if i'm the only person out of the people i know doing this specific cosplay