Healthy Self Reflection
Snippets: one | two
(the confrontation starts)
His complacency in his lack of self-discipline infuriated me. This is the kind of attitude that landed Dave with a shitty childhood. How pathetic that a version of me could dedicate his entire short life to something and still manage to fuck it up so spectacularly.
By this time, he was barely even a Dirk anymore; even in his own mind he was just "Bro." After all, there’s no reason to hold onto an identity outside of a title when you know for an immutable fact what your life’s purpose is.
As the beer bottles grow in number my patience for this bullshit runs out. I know how this night ended. Not necessarily this specific night, but so many like it. I remember steadily knocking them back, waiting for the promised quieting of my mind. Nevermind that my goddamn kid was sleeping in the next room over. No, I was already well-practiced at convincing myself that Dave can take care of himself.
"God, you’re embarrassing." The words are out of my mouth almost before I mean to speak.
In an eyeblink he’s on his feet facing me in a low stance. Asshole isn’t used to being snuck up on. "You got ten seconds to get outta my house before I kick yer fuckin' ass." His Texan drawl is more pronounced with the slur the booze gives his words.
"You won’t do that. Besides, I have every right to be here. This is my house, too, after all."
He squares up at me and steps forward with solid intention, trying to intimidate me with his muscular build. It’s pathetic and completely predictable. "I don’t know who th' fuck you think you are but–"
"You know exactly who I am."
And he does know. He suddenly knows enough to scare him into backing the fuck down. He knows that I am him, or he is me, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I know him inside and out and there is nothing he can do that I won’t see coming a mile away.
Now that I’ve pierced through the drunken fog of his mind he’s actually taking me in. "The fuck you wearin'," he grumbles with a pointed look at my legs.
"Tch." It figures he would go for the pantaloons first. "This is simply how I’ve chosen to represent myself as God and creator to the world I plan to create, but that isn’t relevant to you." I attempt to wave the topic away. "You’ll be long dead by the time those events come to pass."
"Wow, that is some self-important horseshit that you just spewed. Guess you never got that beaten out of you as a kid. That’s one point to the Texas public school system."
"Because clearly you’re the epitome of what we always hoped to be."
He shrugs. "Never said I was. But at least I’m not claiming to be a God while dressed in cosplay."
He's trying to get a rise out of me. I know this and I still take the bait. "You were relegated to irrelevance and an early death in service of someone actually important and you can’t even get that right."
His face tightens a fraction. "Kid’s still alive, isn’t he? He made it through whatever bullshit trials he’s meant to do. I managed to gather that much."
