Wow, been crying for more than an hour and a half, must be some kind of record. I guess i finally broke 🤷♀️ had it coming for a while now. Sucks.
Note to self: never say things you don't mean because you're angry, you'll regret it like, 2 seconds after, and 4 the rest of your life.
Rating as far as worst days of my life go: today; 10 out of 10, actually ahead of any other, i want to get back to 10 am me and smack her so hard she gets a fuckin concussion.
God, never let yourself be so stressed you pay it with someone else, someone you love. I've never felt as miserable as today after making my old father cry, saying some hurtful words. And even after he's forgiven me, i will NEVER forgive myself.
It is the worst feeling and i know deep inside it will never go away. Because i have anxiety, and regardless if he says its all in the past, my brain will always tell me he resents me secretly, he hates me secretly, and i know its not true, but it will always feel like it is, and i brought this upon myself.
Guess joy will be unreachable for me for the next few months, nice!
