Johnny was coming home to Chicago for the first time in….. God was it over a year? The months had blended together.
The time he spent in Korea was much greater now that he was an idol and not just a trainee. He was working harder than ever, with little time to stop.
You were so happy for him, thrilled that he was finally able to live his dream after waiting so long for it. But that didn’t stop you from missing him.
Even though Johnny was hardly ever in Chicago anymore, he was still your best friend. Growing up together made the bond you two shared strong, and it made missing him worse.
But that didn’t matter now, because he was back. Only for a few days, but he was here.
When he was back it was like nothing had changed, like he had never left at all. It was always easy being around him. Your conversations were always filled with laughter.
Johnny’s mom used to joke about the two of you already being married, since you were so attached at the hip when you were both younger. But now you and Johnny were adults, with life pulling you to university and Johnny halfway across the world. And yet…
And yet you were still in love.
Time had changed nothing. Distance had changed nothing. The feeling had been growing and flowering within you for years. It cramped your stomach with nerves whenever you were around him.
People had joked constantly that Johnny was in love with you. But you couldn’t tell for sure when Johnny never said anything to you about it. Maybe it was useless to hold onto this feeling. You couldn’t help but hope that maybe one day he would see you as something more than a friend.
“Maybe you should just tell him how you feel. At least then it won’t be eating you alive.” Somin made the same suggestion every time you complained to her about Johnny.
Then again maybe you should be taking her advice, she had already managed to get engaged. Were people your age really getting engaged?
Suddenly you felt old.
“Somin I just can’t do that.”
“I mean you really can. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”
You give Somin a look. “Oh my god I’m so glad you asked because my anxiety has conjured up at least fifty ways it could end horrifically.”
“What, worse than you pining after this guy until you both die of old age?” Somin crosses her arms. “You need to make a move!”
“Okay I will! I will.”
You won’t, most likely. But telling Somin that will at least make her stop bugging you about it. Honestly you worried that one day she would just call Johnny up and confess for you. It seems like something she would do.
***
You and Johnny facetimed almost every week when his schedule allowed it. Sometimes that meant picking up calls at really weird hours of the night, given the time difference, but you didn’t mind much if that meant you still got to speak with him.
It was hard to see him sometimes, to talk to him with all of these feelings bubbling inside you and not say anything.
***
[ CALL LOG ]
[ May 10, 12:33AM ]
[Incoming Call…..]
Johnny looked tired. That was the first thing you noticed as his face appeared on your phone screen. But he was also excited and it almost managed to cover the fatigue.
“(Y/n)! We’re gonna be in Chicago at the end of the week p l e a s e say you aren’t busy?”
As if you wouldn’t drop everything to see him.
“Yeah! Your mom let me know ahead of time I’m not working or anything! Will you be here long?”
“A few days I think. We’re filming something in my hometown but I think we’ll have lots of free time in between. Do you think you can come over?”
“As if you have to ask! Of course I’ll be there. It’s been months and months since I’ve gotten to see you in person!”
“I know, it’s been way too long. And you’ll finally be able to meet my friends here!” Johnny seems excited at the thought and you can’t help but smile along.
You had met some of them over facetime before, but Mark was the only one of them you had met in person. Oh god what if they hated you?
Johnny’s voice is reassuring. “It’ll be fine (Y/n) they’ll love you.”
“I didn’t even say anything!”
“You didn’t have to, you have that stressed face you do.”
Oh. “I don’t have a stressed face!”
“You do! You have it literally on your face right now! You’re terrible at hiding your emotions (Y/n).” Johnny looks smug.
How ironic that he thinks so. You shrug. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
***
The days leading up to Johnny arriving are stressful and it’s no one’s fault but your own. You work yourself up into an anxious mess, thinking of all the ways seeing him again could go wrong.
What if you slipped up and said something stupid? Or what if one of Johnny’s friends found out you liked him?
But you’ve convinced yourself you’ll just have to go regardless. You miss Johnny too much to not see him while he’s in town.
***
There’s a thousand apologies at your lips when you finally arrive at the Seo’s house. You were called in last minute to work to cover a shift and then on top of that got stuck in traffic on the way back. You weren’t too late but it added to your nervousness, thinking how everyone’s eyes will be on you when you walk in.
***
“So that’s the friend from home you’re in love with? I guess I see why.”
“Shh! They’re looking over here.”
You can see Doyoung and Taeyong speaking to Johnny, but somehow the words don’t connect. You’re the friend from home. You’re the only friend here not in NCT. Doyoung’s talking about you.
Oh. They don’t know you speak Korean. Johnny must not have told them. Or maybe they thought I didn’t hear. Oh. Johnny likes you. Johnny likes you?
Is this real? It can’t be.
Your head is spinning. This can’t be real life. Was he joking? But Johnny had seemed worried that I had overheard them.
“Johnny you’re in love with me?” The words leave your mouth almost without permission in your shock. You’re rooted to the spot.
“Oh my god wait (Y/n) heard? Shit” That was Mark’s voice but it sounds far away right now. All of your concentration was on the gentle blush creeping across Johnny’s cheeks and down his neck.
Johnny won’t meet your eyes but you watch in disbelief as he nods slightly.
Yes.
He loves you.
Immediately there’s chaos. Everyone is trying to talk over one another but you stand still in shock. This can’t be real. Maybe you fell asleep after dinner or something. This couldn’t be your reality.
“Oh god is Johnny gonna kill us? I feel like we’re gonna die.”
“We should definitely run.”
There’s almost a stampede of some of the younger boys running out the front door into the night, laughing and shrieking about what had just happened inside.
You take a few steps closer to Johnny.
Taeyong brushes your arm gently. “We’ll give you two some time to talk.”
You nod mutely as he helps Doyoung to clear out everyone remaining in the living room.
You aren’t sure what exactly you’re expecting to happen, but Johnny immediately apologizing and looking like a kicked puppy definitely isn’t it.
“Johnny why in the world would you be sorry?” You’re close enough to reach out to him now, if you dared.
“I just feel so stupid, I never wanted to ruin things between us. You’ve always been my best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”
Wow. You two really were similar. And also idiots.
“Johnny I’m glad I found out, even if it was an accident.”
He finally meets your eyes at that, looking confused. “You are?”
“I’ve been in love with you since like the fourth grade Johnny! I’m beyond happy. I never told you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship either.”
This is real, this is happening.
You get to watch as a radiant smile stretches across Johnny’s lips, all of his sadness and confusion melting away into joy. “Really?”
You can’t help but grin too. “Yes, really!”
Johnny leans forward to give you a hug, something you’ve both done a thousand or more times but this time it’s something new. It means something different.
“So… what happens now?”
“Whatever we want, right?” You feel giddy with happiness.
***
Long distance was hard, but honestly at this point you and Johnny had the hang of it. Your friendship had lasted years that way, and both of you were confident you could make a relationship work the same. You missed him so much more than when you two were just friends. It was almost cruel in a way, to finally know the feelings you were hiding for so long were returned, only to have him leave again for the other side of the world.
But it wasn’t forever, and you could wait for him to come back. He always did.
