A Qualitative Analysis of 267 Ultrakill Confessions
I analyzed a total of 267 messages posted to @ultrakill-confessions between Jan 1 - Feb 18 2026, a period of 7 weeks. Here are my findings.
Categorization
The data are sorted into 11 categories, which are explained below in order of (generally) increasing priority:
Meta: Confessions that reply/refer to a previous ask, are directed at the blog's mod, or comment on the ultrakill-confessions blog in general.
Playing the game: Confessions discussing playing the game itself, what scores people got, Fraud, the game's music, etc.
Headcanons/ideas: People's "what-ifs" about how the world of Ultrakill works, the sexualities and behaviors of its characters, etc. V1 acting like a cat was a common subject, for example. (Hope you get a cat someday, cat anon!)
Nonsexual begging: Begging that is romantic, platonic, or nonsexual in general. "I REALLLLY NEED (character) to hold my hand", "I NEED New Blood to release merch of this character", etc.
Horny: Thirstposts. This category has been broken down into thirst directed toward individual characters, but it also includes a "general" subcategory that includes thirstposting that either a) does not mention a specific character OR b) mentions more than one character (to prevent duplicates in the data). Note: any horny confession only mentioning angels without naming any names were put in the "Gabriel" subcategory.
"I'm doing x right now": Confessions chatting about recent activity without any particular agenda (i.e. just to talk about their day). "Today I did (thing)", "I just did xyz fannish activity", "Recently I've been feeling (emotion)", etc.
"We need less xyz": Confessions that are critical of certain tropes/headcanons, or discouraging a certain behavior in the fandom. "I don't like it when (thing)", "Why do people do (thing)", etc.
"We need more xyz": Confessions desiring more of certain tropes/headcanons, or encouraging more of a behavior from the fandom. "We need more fic of (thing)", "More people need to (thing)", "Artists should (thing)", etc.
"Ultrakill made me xyz": Confessions that Ultrakill made someone realize that they are of a certain sexuality or orientation or identity, prefer certain pronouns, or change their behaviour.
Miscellaneous: Unrelated to Ultrakill (most of this category was this) or not belonging to other categories.
Ovulation: Any confession that mentions the words "ovulating", "period", "menstruation", (period) "hormones", anything in that vein. The category that inspired the creation of this analysis.
Because there is significant category overlap (e.g. many of the ovulating-related posts were also horny), if a post falls into more than one category, it will be placed into the higher-priority, higher-specificity category. Thus, even if an ovulating-related post is also horny, it will be put into the ovulation category.
Potential Biases and Limitations
Again, I'm just doing this just for fun, so the above prioritization is not a completely stringent rule. The goal is to capture the main point of what a confession is about, and in many cases, this is ambiguous because a confessor might spend a paragraph on one category and a similarly-sized paragraph on another. I exercised my own judgement for what the main point of a post was, and so, I cannot guarantee that this study is 100% objective and completely unbiased.
It is also biased towards sorting confessions into the ovulating category (the highest-priority category) (a confession only needs to mention it or the related words once to qualify) because I thought it would be funny. My informal study my rules. No I am not accepting peer reviews.
Also, be aware that this analysis should not be taken as a reflection of the Ultrakill community as a whole, or even the tumblr Ultrakill community, only as a reflection of the @ultrakill-confessions blog. The pool of users who send confessions (which is made even smaller by the amount of repeat confessors) is not necessarily representative of the entire Ultrakill community.
Interesting Findings
The first confession of 2026 was sent by an anon, who simply sent the word "milk". @ultrakill-confessions, in their sagacious wisdom, replied: "milk".
The first mention of ovulation during the studied period was by an anon on Jan 23, who began their ask with the sentence "Ovulating crazy style rn." After that, more people began to mention ovulation, spurring many confused confessors to comment on this phenomenon. However, while this was the first occurrence in a while, this was not the first ever mention of ovulation on the blog! It was brought up at least as early as April 2025.
There are 0 horny confessions that are exclusively directed toward Sisyphus.
Not all confessions are completely anonymous. A whopping 120 (44.94%) confessions are signed with a callsign in the message, typically "(insert emoji here) anon" or "(object/place/Ultrakill character) anon", so repeat confessions from the anon can be identified as from the same person.
23 (8.61%) confessions are not anonymous at all, either with "ask anonymously" turned off or mentioning the confessor's username in the message.
Note: this does not mean that 120 unique anons and 23 unique users sent confessions, only that 120 signed confessions and 23 non-anonymous confessions were sent. There are many, many occurrences of repeat confessions from the same callsign/user.
An average of 5.45 confessions were posted per day. Thank you for all your hard work, @ultrakill-confessions!
Conclusions
By a slim margin, a majority (53.56%) of confessions are not completely anonymous - meaning, they either carry an identifying callsign or have "ask anonymously" turned off. But overall, the split is nearly even.
The largest 2 categories by far are horny posts (30.71%) and headcanons/ideas (20.97%). The next 3 largest categories are almost equal in size: ovulation (9.74%), "I'm doing/feeling x right now" (8.99%), and meta (8.24%). Together, these top 5 categories make up 78.65% of the confessions.
Of the thirstposting, the largest subcategory of confessions is Archangel Gabriel (30.48%). I can't say I'm surprised. Also, way more horny confessions are horny for V2 (13.41%) than V1 (6.1%).
An equal amount of confessions are critical of/encouraging toward the fandom, with each coming in at 4.5% of confessions. (This one surprised me! I'd thought there would be much more criticism. Researcher bias rearing its head, eh?)
Just so you know: I am not a scientist/data analyst/professional whatever; this study was conducted by me, Mr. Random Joe McShmoe, purely for entertainment purposes, so the subcategorization of the horny posts is missing 1 post and I'm too lazy to go back and do a recount.
hakita i swear to god if you release fraud tomorrow after saying "next week" because next week technically starts tomorrow (or even today you choose) i will
v1 with horrible anxiety. v1 that jumps at every sound ever. v1 that is always scared. v1 that was designed to be tense all the time because it is fragile and a single mistake can mean death. ok think about that. and THEN think about v1 getting to unwind. a dark hole that seems safe. maybe gabriels arms if youre into that. pulled into the walls of gluttony if youre a hellxv1 truther like me. imagine THAT 🦚
