I'm not just a bitch, I'm a bitch with a backstory
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I'm not just a bitch, I'm a bitch with a backstory
Ok sk in reference to the tik tok where pplnare calling their partners by their full names. Reader walks into each of the guys garages. Says their full name infront of the whole garage. I need to know not only how the drivers themselves would react. But also. What would their team do? I can see the papayas walking out and calling one of the reserve drivers to be ready just incase. Who just thinks its funny. Who drops to their knees and starts begging for forgiveness for whatever perceived wrong they have committed
Calling your F1 boyfriend by his full name in front of the whole garage
pairing: all drivers on the grid x girlfriend!reader summary: you walk into the garage, drop his entire government name loud enough for the engineers to hear, and watch how fast the panic spreads across the paddock.
Red Bull
Max Verstappen
The entire garage goes dead silent. You swear you can hear a wrench hit the floor. Max freezes mid-sentence, mid-breath, mid-life.
“Max Emilian Verstappen.” His eyes dart around like someone’s about to die.
“Boys… what did I do?” he mutters under his breath, looking at his engineer for backup.
Half the crew actually takes a step back, like they’re witnessing a public execution. Max immediately takes off his headset and jogs over to you, whispering:
“Whatever it was, I can fix it, schat. Just— don’t use my middle name again, please.”
Yuki Tsunoda
You don’t even finish his name before he screams.
“NO NO NO, WHAT DID I DO?!”
The whole garage bursts out laughing because he’s panicking immediately. He’s waving his hands around like he’s surrendering.
The engineers are crying of laughter as he rushes toward you, half-apologizing, half-hugging you:
“Babe please, don’t kill me in front of the guys!”
Ferrari
Charles Leclerc
You don’t even have to raise your voice — the second you say, “Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc,” he just stops moving.
All the Ferrari mechanics go “oooooohhh” like school kids watching a fight.
Charles looks like he’s re-evaluating every decision he’s made in his life.
He walks over, all charm and panic. “Amour… surely there’s an explanation?”
The engineers are recording. He’s so red you can match his face to the car.
Lewis Hamilton
Lewis just blinks when you say, “Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton.”
Then he laughs. Like, full-on, throws his head back, hand on his chest.
“Full name? Oh, I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
His race engineer’s already like: “Yeah, I’ll start prepping the spare car just in case.”
He walks over to you with that calm, smooth voice: “At least let me look good while you yell at me, love.”
McLaren
Lando Norris
You don’t even finish “Lando Norris” before everyone in the garage gasps.
The papayas have seen enough TikToks to know that’s a death sentence.
Lando immediately yells, “WHAT DID I DO?!” while looking to his mechanics for backup.
Someone hands him a Red Bull can like it’s his last meal.
He tries to make you laugh — “Can I buy my way out with Nando’s?”
Spoiler: no.
Oscar Piastri
He’s confused at first. “Oscar Jack Piastri?”
Then his face drops. “...Oh. Oh no.”
His engineer starts slowly backing away like, “I don’t want to be part of this.”
Oscar does the world’s fastest mental replay of the last 24 hours, then just sighs and hands you his phone:
“Whatever I did, I probably deserve it.”
Racing Bulls
Isack Hadjar
You yell his full name and he just stands there, blinking.
“Why are you saying it like that? …oh wait— am I in trouble?”
The older mechanics are already whispering bets about whether he’ll survive.
He tries to defuse it with a grin, leaning against the car: “You’re still calling me by my full name… that’s hot actually.”
That earns him a look from you.
“Ok, not hot. Definitely terrifying. Sorry.”
Liam Lawson
“Liam Lawson!” you shout, and the poor boy jumps.
He was mid-conversation with his engineer and nearly drops his water bottle.
The entire garage turns toward you, like: RIP Liam.
He immediately goes into damage control.
“Babe, listen— I didn’t flirt with the grid girl, I was just being polite!”
No one even asked.
Mercedes
George Russell
The engineers know instantly something’s up when you march in and go: “George William Russell.”
He goes pale. Dead pale.
Everyone steps away like they’re watching a volcano about to erupt.
He stands there, stiff posture, trying to smile: “Darling… can we discuss this somewhere private?”
You just cross your arms.
The team is taking notes for future entertainment.
Kimi Antonelli
You call his name and the poor boy looks terrified.
He’s like, “You— you know my middle name?”
The mechanics lose it.
He walks over, pink in the face, stammering: “I didn’t mean to, I swear. Whatever it was.”
You haven’t even said what it’s about yet.
Aston Martin
Lance Stroll
You step into the garage and go: “Lance Strulovitch.”
The room explodes.
Half the Aston team suddenly disappears into the back pretending to look busy.
Lance just groans and hides his face in his hands.
“Babe, you did not just use my government name in front of my dad’s mechanics.”
You smirk. “Maybe I did.”
He follows you out, whispering: “I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”
Fernando Alonso
“Fernando Alonso Díaz.”
Instant silence. He smirks.
“Oh, we’re doing full names now?”
The garage doesn’t know whether to laugh or run.
He walks over slowly, that dangerous little glint in his eyes.
“Careful, cariño. You might start something you can’t finish.”
Williams
Alex Albon
You call his name —full name, Alexander Albon Ansusinha— and the garage stops dead.
Half the crew doesn’t even know his middle name.
He stares at you wide-eyed, then laughs nervously.
“Oh no. You said the full one.”
You raise an eyebrow.
He instantly offers, “Do you want boba? I’ll get you boba.”
Carlos Sainz
“Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro!”
The man looks like he’s seen death.
The entire Williams crew steps back like: not my business.
“Mi amor, please, don’t do this here,” he whispers, voice desperate.
He follows you out immediately, muttering in Spanish about how he’s “a dead man walking.”
Haas
Ollie Bearman
You walk in, say his full name, and the entire garage goes: “Awwww.”
He turns bright red.
“I— I didn’t even know you knew my middle name!”
He’s too cute to be scared, honestly.
He runs up and hugs you right there while the mechanics whistle.
“Please don’t be mad,” he mumbles into your shoulder.
Esteban Ocon
“Esteban José Jean-Pierre Ocon-Khelfane.”
The whole team just freezes.
He blinks slowly.
“…That’s… a lot of names. Which one means I’m in trouble?”
When you don’t answer, he sighs dramatically:
“I’ll go grab flowers. Clearly I need them.”
Alpine
Pierre Gasly
You don’t even finish “Pierre Jean-Jacques Gasly” before he dramatically clutches his heart.
“Mon dieu, not the full name!”
The mechanics start cheering, fully entertained.
Pierre drops to his knees theatrically. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry, bébé!”
Someone’s filming. You know it’s going viral.
Franco Colapinto
You call his name, and he just goes:
“…Wait, you know my middle name?”
He’s shocked more than scared.
You raise an eyebrow, and he realizes— oh, this isn’t cute.
“Oh. Right. I’m in trouble.”
Immediately offers, “Mate, cancel the debrief, I need to fix my relationship.”
Kick Sauber
Nico Hülkenberg
You say his full name and he just sighs.
“Yep. I knew this day was coming.”
The team’s laughing already.
He puts his helmet down, muttering: “Can’t even retire in peace.”
Then turns to you, all calm: “Do I get to know what I did, or do I just start apologizing?”
Gabriel Bortoleto
You drop his full name and his jaw hits the floor.
The mechanics start whispering.
“Babe, please, not in front of everyone!”
He looks so panicked it’s funny — literally tries to hide behind the car.
You just smile sweetly. “Then don’t make me say it again.”
He nods immediately. “Noted. Never again.”
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💌 tag list: @mysthicwhispers @anamiad00msday @st4r-girl-official @kartuke @gridsandstories
@ohwhoisyou-rubyjane @pedriglazer @viper-0800 @clocouettelife @leviathan0000
@roseannih @rosietoesf1 @thisdoesntexsist-cherry @elizamoe133 @nichmeddar
@galaxygurlll @ojijhij @naenaen @josephinel83 @linnygirl09
@axelstillalive @star73807-blog @meyla123x @vinylphwoar @artyyjia
@meritxellao @anaylen01
❤ tag list charles: @rebelwrites @ilovereadingsm08
driver!reader viral moments 😼
oh for sureee, she’s got countless of viral moments it seems neverending. fans still live for it tho!!!
more about driver!yn
the podium slip
Rain soaked podium. Champagne everywhere. YN took one step in her race boots and slipped, did a perfect spin, and took George down with her.
drunk dazed - f1 texts
When 1 drink comes after another, you start missing your boyfriend.
─────────────────── pairing: f1!boyfriend x fem!reader contains: some swearing drivers mentioned: cl16, ln1, ka12, ob87, fc43, op81, cs55, mv3 authors note: hi yall!! disappeared for a bit, exams are killing me omg but im almost finished and ill write more fics x google translated some stuff so im not sure if its correct! also peep the enhypen reference in the title i love that song omg ───────────────────
───────────────────
Stay Friends?
Summary: You prank them by saying 'I think we should break up, hope we can stay friends though!'
Request: Yes / Anon
Drivers: LN1, OP81, CS55, AA23, MV3, DR3, AL41, LL30, KA12, GR63, NH27, OB87, FC43, SV5, KR7
McLaren /
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆ the sainz effect — 𝐎𝐏𝟖𝟏 ❁
( 𝗈𝗌𝖼𝖺𝗋 𝗉𝗂𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗂 𝗑 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 )
( 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 )𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝖾𝗐 𝖽𝗋𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋, 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗉𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍?𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗁𝗒 𝖺𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖾
✫ i kinda really hate this i got lazy at the end sorry
🝮
yn
liked by pierregasly and 1,834,175 others
yn i’ll be back japan 😋🫰🏽 kinda boring race, happy birthday oscariño, getting fined for having a tummy ache is crazy, me & lily were munching alllll weekend, 8/10
lilymhe My favorite date 🥰🥰
⤷ alex_albon sigh
lando you’re so cute
lando 😍😍😘😘🥰 i’d eat sushi for you btw
⤷ yn do it then
⤷ lando okay let me mentally prepare myself. let’s go to dinner tomorrow tonight
⤷ yn i do not like the way you said that
⤷ lando may we please go to dinner where i’ll eat sushi for you at 8pm tomorrow night sweet beautiful kind princess?
⤷ yn 👍
⤷ lando chat is that rizz
⤷ alex_albon never beating the norizz allegations
⤷ lando oh who is you
「 ✦ F1 GRID — LETS GET PHYSICAL
˖ ࣪ 𖥔 navigation. | requests — open | main masterlist (coming soon)
drivers included | max verstappen, charles leclerc, carlos sainz, lando norris, oscar piastri, daniel ricciardo, franco colapinto, lewis hamilton
description | drivers and their favorite kinks
content warnings | mature content ahead — 18+ only, minors do not interact
authors note | hope everyone enjoys reading this one! if you have any requests for drabbles or blurbs involving those i write for please send it in and i will try to get it out as soon as possible <3 *not spelled checked*
the grid: can you fight?
꩜ featuring: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, George Russell, Kimi Antonelli, Alex Albon, Carlos Sainz, Daniel Riccardo, Liam Lawson, Max Verstappen, Charles LeClerc, Lewis Hamilton, Ollie Bearman, Jack Doohan, Franco Colapinto, & Paul Aron
꩜ banner creds: bronzewasp