#ultrashit

[hezekiah3rd]

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2000ish @soulspazm records released my single Is it Just Music + B Side - feat @richardraw and Ms Saigon ( Vietnamese female rapper who raps French) that my Nephew @qas.610 on the cover. Repost @monicaalvanel Philly hip hop!!! #phillyhiphop #LawNwar #Ultrashit #hezekiah #MsSaigon #hiphop #albumcover #recordplaying #record #lp #girlsandvinyl #girlslikevinyltoo #vinyl #philly

[bastarditis]

day 7

[lifeissimpleinthemoonlight]

Don't even bother reading this.

I never usually do my own posts cause no one reads them anyway but i have nobody to talk to right now so i may as well rant to myself and just type all these feelings out cause i am so sick of going over them in my mind.

Lately i've been feeling amazingly awful, then i feel even more awful for feeling awful because i know people that have it worse than me. Yet i'm still constantly worrying about losing the important people in my life as some have been pretty distant. They don't realize that i can barely function without them as they have been there for me through the worst that has happened.

I can't handle shit on my own as much as i've tried to and i really wish i could but it just seems impossible as i am so fucking weak. I can't even talk to my mother about my problems because i'll just end up having a massive breakdown like the sensitive bitch i am and don't want to bother her with that.

I just feel like i've been bothering everyone lately to be honest.

There's this constant feeling of pure uncertainty that i keep getting when thinking about the future and everything else around it. I don't want anything major to change even though sometimes it's meant to happen but i just can't accept it. I mean my friends have their futures figured out yet mine seems so incredibly unrealistic compared to theirs i just can't help but panic about how i'm going to fuck up everything.

I really liked my life the way it was especially in the last couple of months but now even though my friends are still kind of here and of course my boyfriend for fuck sake and the fact that i might possibly have a stable enough future (yeah fucking right), i've never wanted to stop my life so much...

It's amazing how the brain works right? It's even more amazing what being lonely does but fucking hell i am such a desperate motherfucker. Not even a minute after the dude i adore leaves to go home i suddenly feel like the loneliest person in existence it's stupidly hilarious really.

I should just become a One-Woman Metal Band and scream all of my feelings....that might possibly help.

If you even bothered reading, congrats, you've just read the most pointless post of my amazing history of pointless posts.

Virtual hugs are accepted even though they don't feel the same as real ones haha ;_;

[lucjan]