@allthatwas plotted starter
rose was sad. noted. " sad? " maybe not sad. that was too broad. she wasn't crying or moping. angry didn't feel right either, because it wasn't like rose was yelling or acting aggressively. a mixture of the two... " disappointed. " yes, that was it! disappointed and frustrated because this investigation was getting nowhere. autumn smiled to herself. she figured it out!
it wasn't like it was really a secret. of course rose was going to feel disappointed, disheartened. they had set out to find the doctor and thus far, despite following the few leads they'd gotten, rose had returned with essentially no information. he was just... gone. frustration was natural. human. that was probably what autumn was feeling, deep down. but her emotions and outlook tended to be distorted; to outside observers, they probably made little sense based on the situation.
she'd been alone. autumn had always been alone, but when there was life in the tardis she could almost trick herself into feeling like she was part of it. there with them, even if they had absolutely no clue she existed. the tardis was grounded on earth for a couple thousand years before rose brought it back from the brink of death. it was true that time passed differently in the tardis, but that was more for its true occupants. not for someone who was so connected with it that she struggled to even think of herself as a separate entity. she felt those moments, those years. it wasn't the first time she'd endured eternity in the abandoned time machine, and it wasn't even the worst it'd been, but it still ate at her.
not that what she felt mattered. what mattered was that rose was disappointed and frustrated and they had yet to even scratch the surface of what was going on.
very rarely did autumn care that much about what the doctor's friends or acquaintances were feeling. it wasn't out of coldness, but the fact that this was the doctor's tardis. it was bonded with him, and autumn was bonded with it, and the tardis's main priority was the doctor. at this point, she usually knew what to do to cheer him up, or at least set up conditions where he was more likely to snap out of whatever mood he was in. if the doctor was happy, autumn was content. she really didn't mind that he didn't know she was the one trying to help, so long as it did help.
autumn felt that same compulsion toward rose, which was very new for her. there were a few factors she internally blamed this on. first, rose had a connection to the tardis. as, essentially, a piece of that tardis, of course autumn cared somewhat for her. second, this whole mission relied on rose's participation. autumn was limited to what could be done inside the tardis. she could fly it places, but she couldn't get out and go ask around, trying to get that information about where the doctor went. so it was selfish. rose was necessary, and it was only smart to keep her in good spirits.
but that wasn't the main reason. the main reason went unacknowledged by autumn, though she felt that tugging in the back of her mind, the tardis needling at her about how she should stop suppressing her thoughts and feelings ( now, whether that was actually the tardis, or just her subconscious which she labeled as the time machine, was debatable ). this was her first time being around rose. being around anyone, except for a very brief period of time at the very beginning of her life. for as long as autumn had been in the tardis, she'd operated in the background. no direct contact, no awareness of her existence. and it was fine. she was fine sitting back and watching the doctor live his lives while she stayed where she'd always been. it was her choice, even, because she'd known for a long while now that time was stable; her admitting that she was there wouldn't destroy the universe. it'd been that way since the end of the time war, but she chose not to approach. why should she? what good would it do? it wasn't like she was a real person.
" you're scared. " the tardis had accused one night, except it was her own voice. it was always her own voice, her own thoughts, even if she gave the tardis the credit. she couldn't deny that it was right. she was scared.
it was weird existing to someone now. interacting with them every day, even if they'd only just recently met. rose was, essentially, the first person autumn had ever met. definitely the first person since she'd become part of the tardis. autumn wasn't sure how to act. there was no denying she was incredibly awkward, even when she felt she was being normal. luckily, rose was much more concerned with the task at hand to seem to care. that was good, someone needed to be. normally autumn would be able to lock onto it, concentrate on just finding the doctor, but her thoughts were consumed with the distraction of actually interacting with someone for once. rose might have noticed how all over the place autumn seemed, but there was no way for her to know how incredibly novel this was for her.
it was inevitable that autumn cared how rose was feeling. she currently made up the entirety of autumn's social network.
chips. rose liked those. autumn remembered listening to her and the doctor talking about it. there was a lot of data autumn had about what rose liked and disliked, though it was analytical; there was no nuance. she'd just heard i like ____ and noted it. someone with an actual personal relationship with rose might be able to differentiate when chips were an appropriate gift, but it was better than nothing.
autumn had a bad tendency to walk extremely quietly. she gave no acknowledgements of the startle she may have caused after standing very close behind rose at the console and saying, " i brought you chips. " hopefully, it was made up for a little by the fact that she did, indeed, have a plate of chips, which she held up at her chest.
as she waited for rose to grab the plate, and without prompting, she added, " you're bad at flying the tardis. " her brows pinched together, and quieter she said, " that's mean. " and untrue. rose was actually much better than any other non-gallifreyan who'd tried to pilot it before. she made mistakes and moved hastily, but it was very minor compared to the multiple times things had completely exploded due to an attempted pilot's lack of knowledge. it wasn't like rose had been really taught before, making her skills impressive. with a little refining, she'd be great at it. " you need to learn how to switch the gears. it is not difficult. i can teach you. " all of that while seemingly staring at the woman, unblinking.