masala chai (ajay x f!mc, part 4 of A Series)
<AN> Yeet folks we made it!! Here’s part 4. I love you all, thanks so much for supporting me through this crazy series haha. Again, infinite credit and love goes to @lilmissperfectlyimperfect for being LITERALLY MY QUEEN, thank you for all you do. My tag crew is: @euphonyinestetica, @pixelburied, @directorajay, @witchiegirl, @itsbrindleybinch, @anlashokk. Much love to all!! </AN>
Tuesday was miserable for everyone involved.
Ajay took back his place all the way at the end of the table, and refused to look at anyone the entire time. He only stayed at the table for enough time to scarf down his lunch, then he would disappear from the cafeteria entirely.
Grace had retreated entirely from the table, choosing instead to take her lunch in her math classroom, where nobody could find her. Her teacher was more than willing to let her eat there, no questions asked, in return for help grading quizzes. Grace was happy do the work. It kept her mind off Ajay.
Out of the entire friend group, Skye was probably the most stressed. She loved and depended on their friend group more than she was willing to admit, and she hated how it had fractured. She looked across the table to Erin, absentmindedly playing with her food, and cleared her throat to get her attention.
“We have to do something.”
Erin looked up. “Yeah, but what?”
“I don’t know… how can we force them to talk to each other?”
“I’m not sure. Short of locking them in a room together, I don’t think-”
Erin was cut off by Skye’s gasp.
“We should lock them in the auditorium.”
“What?” Erin looked at Skye like she was crazy.
“Think about it! It worked once before. All they need to do is talk it out, and I’m sure they’d at least go back to being friends.”
“Hmm,” Erin considered this. “You might just be right. Let me text James and see what we can do.”
Thirty minutes later, they had come up with a plan. Erin would lure Ajay into the auditorium by saying she had seen someone running around and touching the curtains with cheeto-dust fingers. Skye would get Grace to come by pretending to fulfill her promise about showing her how the lights worked up in the booth. Once they were all in, Skye and Erin would leave through different side doors and lock them while James locked the main doors, effectively trapping the couple.
It wasn’t genius, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And the tension coming off of the two was suffocating, letting darkness and silence fall everywhere either of them went, even lingering after they had left.
Only one day like this had gone by, but even Skye was tired of this.
*****
Ajay ran into the auditorium and right onto the stage. He glanced around before he got his bearings and dashed to the curtain, examining it for orange stains. Not finding any, he moved to the curtains on the other side. Nothing. Nothing except a laugh, a slamming door, and…
“Grace?” he said, more out of surprise than anything else. She stood next to the door, her head tucked down and her arms fiddling with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t respond, didn’t even look up at him, and in that moment his heart broke a little more.
And then he walked away. He released the curtain and turned on his heel towards the side door, only to find it locked. He eyed the main doors, but had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what had happened.
They locked us in, he concluded. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, giving the door a few more pointless pushes before giving up and settling in a chair backstage, not sure what to do with himself.
Grace had migrated to the house and was sitting midway through the first row. He watched her from backstage, aware that she couldn’t see him. He watched as she twirled a pink strand of hair around her fingers, picked at the upholstery of the seat she was sitting on, and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.
And god damn it all, it was like he hadn’t learned a thing. He still thought her restlessness was adorable, and all he could think about was how that bottom lip had felt against his, the one time he’d been brave enough to show her how he really felt.
He felt bad for what he’d done to her. He felt awful. Her first time having feelings for someone and he had to come in, ask her out, take two weeks to even kiss her and still not treat her how she was supposed to be treated. He’d just ruined the whole thing she had with Rory, he could see that in how uncomfortable she looked when they were together in front of him.
Ajay sighed and walked back out onto the stage. Aside from a slight shoulder movement, Grace gave no indication that anything had changed. Ajay sat on the floor of the stage and laid back, gazing up to the lights and the system of flies above the stage.
If nothing else, theatre had given him a creative outlet. It had given him a way to see the same situation from many different perspectives. He decided on a whim that he’d try to see this from her point of view.
Having a crush on a costar and then your asshole director asking you out, making you nervous. And maybe you’ll feel something for him, but he doesn’t ever say anything for a long time. So maybe he doesn’t like you after all…
A light came on inside his head. Did she– could she really think he didn’t feel the same way? His mind started racing, reviewing every single interaction they’d had for those two weeks. Hadn’t he all-too-often berated himself for not showing her enough attention? For not kissing her when he wanted to, for not holding her hand, for not giving it all up and telling her how much she meant to him?
He forced himself to calm down and to pick through the thoughts one at a time. Pretend, he told himself, that she liked you, like she said. Just pretend. Now, try and look at this from her point of view.
He did. Then he thought about it again. And again. And again. And...
It all came rushing back to him, and suddenly he could see the whole thing through new eyes.
Through her eyes.
Falling hard for someone (him?) and the emotion itself scaring her, not wanting to push and convinced at every awkward moment that it would all fall apart. Her inexperience giving way to anxiety when he constantly pulled away… making it feel like he didn’t want her. And when he’d actively distanced himself from her after seeing her with Rory—comforting him, like a friend would—god, no wonder she thought he didn’t like her anymore.
He was an idiot. A complete idiot.
“I’m an idiot,” he said to the stage lights above him. He sat up suddenly, turning around on his knees to face the audience. “Grace, I’m an idiot!”
Grace looked up from where her hands were clasped tightly together to meet his eyes for half a second, almost like a reflex, before she looked back down at the floor.
“What?”
“Grace...” he scooted forward to dangle his legs off the lip of the stage. He wanted so badly to get closer to where she sat in the front row of the house, but he didn’t think she’d be okay with that.
“Grace, I’m so sorry.” He cleared his throat and forced the words out. “I was distancing myself from you because I was jealous.”
Her head whipped up but she didn’t quite look at him. Her eyes were trained on the emergency exit to his right. “Jealous?” she asked in a hoarse voice. She cleared her throat. “Of what?”
“Of… of Rory,” he admitted, hanging his head slightly. “I saw you guys talking, and that thing happened at lunch yesterday, and I guess I assumed there was something going on between you two. And like an idiot, like a scared idiot, I didn’t even ask you about it. I just jumped to conclusions. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my life… I’m so, so sorry, Grace.”
She turned her head toward him, agonizingly slowly, taking in the new information. She stared at him for several seconds, her gaze seeming to burn him from the inside out. When she finally spoke, what she said was beyond his comprehension.
“Come here.”
He blinked.
“What?”
“Come here!” she repeated, a little smile growing on her face. Terrified, he pushed off the stage and walked toward her. He settled into the chair next to her, and she took his hand. His heart stopped.
“Grace, I-”
She cut him off with a raise of her left eyebrow. “Let me talk.”
Ajay nodded, signaling for her to begin.
“I don’t like Rory,” she started, making fierce eye contact that Ajay was loathe to pull himself away from. “The last time I liked Rory was like… the beginning of the school year. As we got to be better and better friends, I guess I realized I didn’t like him that way.”
She let out a shaky breath, and he saw her confidence waver.
“I like you, Ajay. I didn’t lie to you, or whatever you thought. I really, really like you. More than I thought I was capable of liking somebody.” Her cheeks turned pink at this last admission. “And I thought you liked me too. But when you started avoiding me… I didn’t really know what to think.”
She shook her head.
“No, I did know what to think. It was pretty clear to me that you weren’t interested in me anymore. Especially in the cafeteria yesterday, when that girl asked about me and Rory and you just left. It felt like you didn’t even care about what was going on between us, like you just wanted to forget about it.”
“So I just wish we could’ve talked to each other more. I know I probably should’ve tried harder to talk to you about it, but yeah,” she finished lamely. “Alright, that’s all I wanted to say. You can talk now. Or... we can just forget about it, if that’s what you want.” She didn’t quite meet his eyes.
Ajay took a deep breath, willing himself to have the courage to speak up this time. She had given him an out, a chance to forget about all of this and move forward as just friends, but he didn’t want it. He’d never wanted anything less.
“Grace… I was selfish. I wasn’t thinking about how anyone felt but myself. I was jealous when that girl thought you and Rory were a couple, and I let my jealousy take control. I kept comparing myself to him, convincing myself that he’d be better for you than I would. I didn’t stop to talk to you about it, to ask you what was going on, to ask you how you felt. And I’m so, so sorry for that.”
“Thanks,” Grace said in a soft voice. “And I forgive you for that, if you can forgive me for being too scared to talk to you about it.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. But I do think—if you’d like to try again—that we definitely need better communication.”
She finally looked up, and her grip on his hand tightened. “I agree completely. And I’d love to try again, I was really hoping you’d say that.” She gave him a tentative smile.
“I really like you,” he said, bringing the back of her hand to his mouth to kiss it softly. “I want to be your boyfriend. I have since I asked you out two weeks ago. Does that sound… okay?”
“Yeah,” she said breathlessly, nodding. “That sounds… amazing.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Okay,” he whispered. He gave her one last smile and turned away, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. He had just stood up from the seat when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Grace, arms crossed in front of her chest.
“You need something?”
“If you really think I’m letting you leave without kissing me…” One corner of her mouth quirked up.
Ajay rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. “Oh my god, you’re so needy.” He pulled her (his girlfriend!) in by the waist, pressing their foreheads together.
“Yeah, I am. Just a little.” She brought her hands up to cup his face and leaned in, kissing him sweetly.
He tugged her even closer as their lips moved together, and felt her melt into the kiss. They stayed like that for several long moments, holding each other tightly, until Grace had to pull away to take a breath. Contentment filled him the same way a mug of masala chai would: heavy, warm and familiar, but intriguing and new all at the same time. He needed more.
“Wow,” she breathed, still way too close to him. He kissed her one last time—a brief, soft press of his lips to hers—then stepped out of her space, bending over to grab his backpack.
“Wow, indeed. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” She smiled softly but her eyes lit up, telling him that that comment had meant everything to her. He resolved to never make her eyes do anything except that again, he vowed to himself that he’d do anything he could to keep the soft smile on her face.
“Now, do you think they’ll finally let us out?”
“I’m sure James is in on this. If he doesn’t let us out, I’ll call mom on him. He’ll cave. Especially once we tell him we’re officially dating. If you’re okay with telling them, that is?”
“Of course!” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, laughing as she turned pink again. He offered her his hand and led the way to the auditorium door, to their freedom.