Another drop tapped on the metal sink making clanking noise. Lin tried to ignore it and stay focused on the newspaper she was reading but it was making her more and more nervous. She breathed slowly but it didn’t help.
After hearing another tap she stood up and threw the newspaper away.
“Enough!” she shouted.
Kya stuck her neck out with curiosity.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“Nothing,” she grunted and began to put on her combat boots. “I just need some fresh air, that’s all.”
Kya raised her eyebrows. She knew that Lin was hiding something from her but also knew that she won’t tell her when she’s not ready to. She sighed.
“Be safe,” she budged when Lin slammed the door.
The cold wind brought relief to her. It was refreshing and calming, the night breeze tangled her grey hair.
Kya had never before told her to stay safe, because she was always sure she could protect herself but after Lin lost her bending nothing stayed the same. Kya became more protective about her wife which irritated her a lot.
“I’m not a child!” Lin flailed about. “I can take care of myself!”
“I’m not saying you can’t,” Kya declared in stride. “I told you to “stay safe”, what’s wrong with asking you to not to die on your way home.”
“You need to calm down, Lin,” she said after a while, her voice was softer and more careful. “I know it’s hard but you can’t take everything as an offence. I don’t think about you differently, it’s not like I didn’t care about you before.”
“You think that I no longer can protect myself from any danger.” Lin’s voice broke. “And maybe you’re right.”
Lin winced at the memory of that conversation. While walking she no longer could feel if somebody was near, she wouldn’t say she was an easy target but she wasn’t as effective as she used to.
For the first time in many years she felt completely helpless while walking in the park. She still knew how to fight but she wouldn’t deal with a group of people anymore. For the first time in many years, she was scared of walking alone at night.
She sat at the bench and put her knees close to her chest. She was observing the dark void she was in. Trees and bushes were thick, nobody would be able to see a thing in this darkness.
A single tear ran down her cheek. She knew it wouldn’t help, she knew that it won’t change anything. She no longer felt safe and it was making her crazy. She didn’t know how to go down.
And for the first time in many years, she cried from despair.
