insights.
I’ve come to realize that contrary to popular belief, I like to be in the background, not the centre of attention. Yes, I’ve spent 17 years of my life on the stage, but that’s the only time I don’t mind people looking at me. When I’m performing, I lose myself in my movements, in my voice, in the character. I can perform in front of a theatre full of strangers, but don’t ask me to talk to any of them. As soon as I come off that stage, everything is different. People will come up and try to talk to me and praise me and I just get uncomfortable. I don’t like being the face of my own thoughts. In debates, I’m constantly whispering to my partner, feeding them lines and ideas. I don’t know why, because I don’t open my mouth unless I’m sure of something. Maybe that’s why PR is good for me, because I like writing the script. I like being in other people’s heads, listening to their thoughts, more than my own. I just want to know everything. I have this overwhelming desire for knowledge; to know people, and their stories; maybe because I’ve had to hide so much in my life, to keep other people comfortable. I wish I could be paid for asking people to tell me the completely uncensored, non-judgemental version of their experience thus far. Every detail, good, bad or just totally uncomfortable. I want to see the parts of people they haven’t shared with anyone. I don’t want to know so that I can judge people. I want know so I can attempt to fully understand who they are. Very few people know me, because very few people actually know my story and the influencers in my life. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable talking about my experience, it’s just that no one’s bothered to ask. I would prefer to listen anyway.