Wow this is. A lot longer than I thought it was. >.>;;
I really hope I did your boys justice. Please let me know if anything’s inconsistent or out of character (I tried very hard to follow your headcanons, but I don’t know if I succeeded. <:3)
Anyways, I had a lot of fun writing this, and I really hope you like it! :D
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Sans is young, but he’s smart and he’s observant, and he learns things quickly. So he learns early on that soulmates are a Pretty Big Deal (although he doesn’t have to observe that-every adult tells him so) and that not having or meeting a soulmate is also a Pretty Big Deal, but in a bad way. Not having a soulmate means never seeing color, and it means never seeing the person you’re made for. Of course, there are people who never meet their soulmate, and they’re perfectly happy with the people they have, but still.
The idea scares Sans a little. He wants to have a soulmate, and he wants to meet them. He would never be alone-he has Paps, young as he is, and Dad, and plenty of friends besides-but he still wants to meet them more than anything.
At recess, he plays the same guessing games as the other children, constructing the perfect person in his mind. He doesn’t care if they’re monster or human-a rare occurrence, but possible-or what they look like. He just wants them to be nice, and like his jokes and his brother, and that they like playing games. Maybe they can be couch potatoes with him- between Papyrus and Dad, he’s outnumbered.
More than anything, he just wants them to like him.
They years go on. Sans gets older. Paps gets older. Dad disappears. Papyrus decides to join the Royal Guard. Sans gets quieter. He smiles when all his friends meet their soulmates and moves on with their lives.
He’s playing in his room when Paps comes in, slamming the door open. Sans doesn’t even flinch, too used to Papyrus’ dramatic entrances to be fazed. Instead, he just takes another drink of his soda, eyelights never leaving the screen as he says, “‘sup, papyrus?”
“YOU KNOW WHAT’S “‘SUP”, BROTHER!” Papyrus declares, giving the mess in his room a disgusted look. He’s wearing his training armor. “IT’S BEEN SIX DAYS AND YOU STILL! HAVEN’T! CLEANED! YOUR ROOM!” He gestures around the room wildly to emphasize. “IT LOOKS LIKE A TORNADO BLEW THROUGH!”
Grinning at the screen as he eviscerates another enemy, Sans points at the self-sustaining trash tornado spinning in the corner. It’s a fairly impressive one, nearly as tall as Sans, and it holds more than the other ones. Currently, it boasts most of his sock collection, some empty cans, and a dog (he doesn’t know how it got there, but it seems to be enjoying the ride, so he leaves it alone). “guess you caught wind of my shenanigans. should’a known it’d be a breeze for ya’.”
Papyrus groans, cradling his skull in his gloved hands. “SAAAANS, THIS IS SERIOUS! I AM NOT CLEANING UP FOR YOU THIS TIME! I STILL CAN’T SMELL ANYTHING AFTER THE LAST TIME!”
“i’m not the one who scent you to do it,” Sans reminded him, slipping in the pun for good measure.
Papyrus takes a deep breath and closes his eyesockets, clearly trying not to erupt again. When he opens them again, he gives his brother a pleading look, voice lowered and serious. “Sans, Please. I Know You Better Than That. Won’t You Tell Me What Is The Matter, Brother?”
Smile never faltering, Sans pauses his game to finally face him. His grin feels tight and fake, but he doesn’t let it fall. “i’m fine, paps, promise. just tryin’ ta’ get past a hard level.” He uses a finger to indicate his game.
“Sans… Could This Have Anything To Do With The Bunnies Earlier This Week?” Papyrus asks with frightening insight, sockets narrowing on him knowingly.
Frightening because that is absolutely what it’s about. Sans has seen yet another one of his old friends meet their soulmate. Of course he’s happy for them, and wants the best for them, but… it’s a little hard, always watching others finding their soulmate when he hasn’t even caught a glimpse.
Sans is a patient skeleton, but even he has his limits, and some days he remembers that childhood fear that they don’t even exist. Maybe the universe has decided he’s not good enough for a soulmate. Would they even want him, as screwed up and pathetic as he is? Could anyone love him, destiny or not?
Papyrus is the only one who knows he thinks like this. Even Grillby, who Sans would consider very trustworthy (the guy never talks, of course he’s good at keeping secrets), knows nothing of his worries. He didn’t even used to think of it, until Gaster- well.
He’s clearly paused too long, as Papyrus heaves a heavy sigh and steps forward, coming to kneel at his side. Sans doesn’t look at him, grip tight on the controller still in his hand. A gentle hand rests on his head, prompting him to finally meet Papyrus’ equally soft smile. “Sans. As I Am Very Great, I Have Never Feared Whether Or Not I Will Find My Special Person.” Here his voice briefly rises back to its normal decibels. “AFTER ALL, ANYONE WHO IS A MATCH FOR ME MUST BE JUST AS AMAZING, AND WILL SURELY FIND ME, AS I WILL SURELY FIND THEM! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS A MASTER AT FINDING PEOPLE!”
His voice softens again. “However, If I Ever Were To Worry, I Would Simply Go To See Gerson! He Is Very Skilled At Determining Things Related To Your Special Person!” A sad note enters his voice. “And I Would Like To See My Brother Back, Even If He Is Lazy And Tells Bad Puns!”
Sans chuckles softly, although his soul aches as he sees the sadness in his brother’s eyelights. He hates that he’s the cause of that pain. He never meant to hurt anyone, least of all Papyrus. Voice thick with unwanted emotion, he gives his brother an affection look. “thanks, paps. you’re the coolest, bro.”
“Of Course,” Papyrus all but murmurs, eyelights shining. He gives Sans a brief but tight hug, then abruptly pulls away, back to his normal self. “NOW THEN! LET’S GET TO CLEANING!”
He half contemplates wriggling out of it, but Sans decides he owes him that much. He stands, offering Papyrus the first real smile he’s had in a while. “right behind you, bro.”
They go to see Gerson later. Sans can’t stand the pitying look the old man gives him when he turns around and says the words he never wanted to hear. He teleports before Papyrus can see his face, finding himself back home.
His soul hurts so badly. It feels like the night he lost Gaster all over again. He’s lost someone he loves with all his being before he ever got to meet them. He can swear he feels his soul breaking in his chest, spreading like fire through his bones.
He stops going outside at all, save for the sparse, quick trip to Grillby’s. He loses himself in his mindless videos games, holding himself together just enough to function for Papyrus.
His little brother graduates into the Guard. Sans is proud.
People start disappearing.
Their city has always felt so crowded and loud, but it feels and sounds emptier now that so many have gone missing. All the search parties have come back empty handed, but recently, they hadn’t been coming back at all. Panic is taking over the island, confused monsters desperate to find their loved ones. The Royal Guard is doing all it can, but more and more of them go missing with each day.
Papyrus wants to go. Sans can see it in his eyes everytime he comes home and tells him what happened. His brother looks older and sadder than Sans has ever seen him, and it feels so wrong, and he feels so guilty, because he won’t let him go out, but he can’t lose him too, stars, he’s so done losing people he loves. He can’t let Papyrus go because he cares too much to let him run off like that, and Papyrus loves his friends too much to let them go missing without trying to do something.
It’s the first time they’ve ever really fought about anything. Papyrus is so determined, coming home every day to try and talk Sans into letting him go. Every day Sans tells him no, he can’t, he has to stay here, Sans can’t lose him too, he can’t. Papyrus is all he has left, and it hurts to fight with him, but he has to be the older brother, he has to look after him, even if it makes him angry.
Sans smashes more aggressively at the buttons than what is necessary, brutally attacking the enemies in his game. His body moves on autopilot, simply going through the motions of a game he’s played time and time again as he seethes. Why can’t he just understand that Sans is just trying to look after him? He knows he can take care of himself; that’s not the problem! Why can’t he just let Sans take care of him likes he’s been doing? Why does he have to care-
The game announces his death loudly, causing him to growl as he throws the controller away. He drops his pounding skull into his hands, feeling his sockets burn. He doesn’t know how long he’s been up now, trying to drown out his thoughts and channel his anger.
He’s so tired. He’s so tired of hurting. He’s so tired of people he loves getting hurt. He just wants them to be happy again…
He needs something to drink. He stands up, shambling carefully through the darkness of his messy bedroom (he hasn’t bothered to clean in two weeks, and Paps is never home to scold him for it anymore anyways) to his door. He needs something that isn’t carbonated, something to put him to sleep. He wants to stop thinking about this for the time being.
The lights are on downstairs. It’s not that uncommon, between Papyrus’ schedule in the Guard and his unusual habits, and Sans’ own late-night soda and ketchup runs. He doesn’t look at the tv as he passess, currently displaying nothing but static. Instead he meanders straight into the kitchen, squinting against the light.
It’s as he’s starting back to his room that he sees the note on the table. It’s written in his brother’s immaculate penmanship, large and bold, just like him. Just seeing it there makes his soul freeze, and he picks it up with trembling fingers, a feeling of dread already covering him.
I KNOW THAT YOU DON’T WANT ME GOING OUT. AND I UNDERSTAND YOUR REASONING! IT IS VERY NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME, AND THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE SAFE!
HOWEVER! THIS IS SOMETHING I ALSO WANT FOR YOU! AND FOR ALL MY FRIENDS! AND FOR THE WHOLE CITY!
SO, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO INVESTIGATE. IT IS MY DUTY AS A ROYAL GUARD AND AS YOUR BROTHER TO PROTECT YOU. TO PROTECT EVERYONE! AND I CANNOT DO THAT IF I AM AT HOME!
I AM LEAVING TO FIND EVERYONE. I WILL BRING THEM ALL BACK SAFE AND SOUND, SO DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME! AFTER ALL, I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NOTHING COULD GET THE BEST OF ME!
SO DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME, BROTHER. I WILL BE JUST FINE, AND BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WHILE I AM GONE, ALRIGHT?
P.S: PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM! I HAVE NOT HAD THE CHANCE TO TELL YOU TO DO SO IN A WHILE, BUT IT SMELLS VERY BAD!!!
By the time the note and the can hits the ground, Sans is already gone.
Of course he’s gone by the time Sans gets there. According to the very frightened Guard at the door, Papyrus has been gone for hours. Sans hates that he missed it, but somehow it doesn’t surprise him. Papyrus can actually be very quiet when he wants to be.
The Guards present (there are so few of them now, either missing to whatever has them or stretched across the city defending the civilians) assure him that Papyrus is much tougher than anyone gives him credit for, and that he’s not in the Royal Guard for nothing.
And Sans knows that. He knows his brother. And he knows that whatever has taken the others won’t hesitate to take Papyrus too.
They tell him to wait a week before searching, like they’ve done with the others. Just to be sure, they say. But Sans knows Papyrus, for star’s sake, and he knows where he’s gone.
He doesn’t give it a week. He doesn’t even give it a minute. He’s gone in the next blink.
Sans doesn’t remember the forest being this close before. He doesn’t remember it being this sinister, or giving him this awful twisting feeling in his nonexistent gut. Everything about this place screams of evil, and there’s a strange feeling that’s almost-but-not-quite magic emanating from it.
Like the evil forest in the stories, Sans thinks idly, squaring his shoulders and flipping his hood over his skull so it shades his sockets. The idea of going into this forest makes him uncomfortable, but the thought of Papyrus lost in it makes him more uncomfortable, and that’s enough to get him moving.
It’s quieter in a forest than it should be, save for the crunch of leaves beneath his slippers. It only serves to set him further on edge, straining for any sign of life. All he hears is his own soul pounding in his ribcage. It’s far too dark, even if it is the middle of the night.
Sans grits his teeth, wandering father into the cursed forest. He has no idea how long he walks when he finally hears something else, a soft rustle that instantly has his magic humming. He whips around, narrowing his sockets into the forest as he summons a bone. He can’t see anything past the dim glow from the construct, but he hears the rustling again, louder and further to the left.
Cursing softly under his breath, Sans summons his magic and teleports, finding himself in an unfamiliar part of the forest instead of his home as he planned. Confused, Sans makes another jump, and another, but the sight of the forest greets him every time.
so, i take it i can’t teleport out of the forest, then, he surmises, letting the bone disintegrate. His eyelights jump up to the tree cover over his head, and he recalls the reports Paps had been bringing in. and it attacks anything that rises over the trees.
Looks like he’ll just have to figure this out from the ground, then. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? He just has to keep going, and teleport away from the apparently killer forest. Easy enough.
With a deep breath, Sans traverses further into the forest.
The forest attacks when he’s resting in the clearing, too exhausted to do much more than struggle. A thunderous rumble and trembling beneath his feet is his only warning. The roots grow around him faster than he can fight them, vines twining around his ribs and squeezing. It’s over in a matter of seconds, stringing him up and cutting off the sunlight.
He falls still as soon as his feet leave the ground, hanging limply in the vine’s hold. His sockets squeeze shut, fighting back the burning in his eyes.
It’s hopeless. It’s over. What was ever the point? No one who comes into this forest returns. Not him, not Papyrus, no one. Sans was always destined to lose anything that mattered to him, no matter how much he fought, no matter how much he searched for them.
It was time to stop fighting. It was time to stop searching. It was time to stop hoping. He doesn’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter.
Sans leaves his sockets closed, giving himself over to sleep. Maybe he can see them all again in his dreams-Papyrus, Gaster, all his friends…
Maybe, sleeping, he can even meet his soulmate.
There’s a rustling outside that wakes him, a sound he’s grown so used to in his state. He doesn’t bother to open his eyes, thinking that maybe the forest has come to finish him off finally. Or maybe some poor fool has wandered into the forest again. Pity for them.
A small, unfamiliar voice reaches his ears. It’s definitely feminine-sounding, and when they address him, they do so with his name. He doesn’t pay them much attention, just waiting for the forest to do them in. Indifferent.
The sound of branches shifting comes to his ears, and he hears them again, begging him to wake up. He almost smiles. He’s already awake, even though there’s no point. He tells them so, voice flat and lifeless. He doesn’t sound like himself anymore.
They’re determined, whoever they are. They talk about Papyrus. They talk about what he’s like. What he would have wanted for Sans. He knows what he would have wanted, but it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. You can’t bring back the dead. Everyone who goes into the forest disappears and never returns. If he had seen it coming… if he had stopped him… if he… if he hadn’t been so useless-!
Her voice is thick when she speaks next, pleading him, begging him, to hang on, just a little longer, and he can’t help but be a little angry, beneath the blank carelessness. He’s been holding on this whole time. He’s been holding on, little by little, for years, years, holding onto hopes and dreams and people that keep leaving, and he’s tired, he’s so, so tired, and he just wants to give up.
A hand grabs his collar roughly, jerking his face upwards, and his sockets fly open, and his whole world shifts.
There’s cuts on her face, on her hands, her clothes are ragged where the branches have nicked her, and her expression is set in such a grim, fierce line that he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He never wants to close his eyes again.
She’s beautiful. Her hair and her clothes and her eyes, all such vibrant colors that he doesn’t have the name for, but he decides they might be some of his favorite. He stares at her in slack-jawed amazement, feeling warmth flood him from his chest, where his soul is singing. He thought- he thought she was-
How did she even get here? What was she doing here? Didn’t she know it was dangerous?! For the first time in so long, he has purpose, and that purpose is getting her out of here as soon as possible.
He doesn’t know who you are. He doesn’t know why you’re here. But he knows that he loves you already, and he’ll do anything to look after you. He’ll do anything to protect you, even if it puts him in danger.
He’ll do anything for his soulmate.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS SO PERFECT!!! YOU DEFINITELY DID THEM JUSTICE! OH MAN I DIDN’T WANT THIS TO END IT WAS SO GOOD. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF THIS. THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL TREASURE FOREVER. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING MY BOYS AND CAPTURING THEM SO WELL!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
