I think I managed to pinpoint what it is about kidfic that usually bothers me
I mean, aside from the obvious age-inaccurate language and behaviour where the author doesn’t seem to have spoken to a child since being one.
It’s that the kids are Mary-Sues.
They’re always bright/smart for their age, adorable, get on with the other children even if they’re shy. They’ll have a great relationship with their fictional parent (who “isn’t a perfect parent” but somehow manages to seem one anyway) and understanding of adult troubles, and they get on well with their parents’ friends and everyone loves them, etc etc.
If trouble occurs, it’s because it’s just a misunderstanding or reactionary: another kid was mean to them or a teacher was in the wrong (and don’t even get me started on fic that villainises teachers oh my god, don’t), it’s never the child in the wrong.
That’s not how children act. That’s not how people act. Sometimes kids steal things because they feel like it. Sometimes they lie for shits and giggles, like no, seriously, they think it’s hilarious that you’re an idiot and falling for it. Sometimes kids are mean to each other, even their friends. Sometimes kids push each other around and it could be bullying but it could also just be a game. That’s normal, and also really healthy for a kid to do.
They have to experience for themselves what happens when something goes wrong. Maybe it was just a game but they pushed someone too hard and they fell over and started crying and a teacher told them off. Maybe they borrowed a pencil and never gave it back and no one ever noticed. That’s how kids learn boundaries and figure out which rules can be pushed and bent and which ones are firm.
If your best friend or life partner repeatedly promised to spend time with you, and then constantly have to work, you’re going to get disappointed and pissed off - which is not to say that you can’t be concerned about them and their tiredness and health too, because people are actually capable of feeling more than a single emotion at one time. And it’s worse for a kid, because they are physically and emotionally more dependant on the adults surrounding them; a kid whose parent works all the time is not going to be like “Oh, it’s okay, daddy, I understand.”
Don’t get me wrong, I am aaaall for writing self-insert Mary-Sue fic every so often, but I don’t think writing a Mary-Sue child can be considered wish fulfilment. I think it’s doing kids, and people in general, a disservice to portray them as perfect
