#unhingedsskaday

[lightcee]

Modern SS AU

*gamer sasuke live online, answering fans' questions*

Fan 1: where did you buy your top?

Sasuke: *turns to Sakura whose hair is visible on the screen* Sak, they're asking me where I bought you

[lightcee]

#unhingedsskaday

Sasuke: Hello, I'm Naruto's emergency contact.

Person: Oh, are you here to pick him up?

Sasuke: No, I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[lightcee]

#unhingedsskaday 🔞

Naruto: TEME! SAKURA-CHAN! ARE YOU HOME?? I'M BORED

SasuSaku: *in the middle of doing the deed*

Sakura: *pushes Sasuke off of her, then shouts to Naruto* STAY WHERE YOU ARE OR I SWEAR TO GOD—

Sasuke: I will murder him.

Sakura: *sighs* You can't murder our Hokage, it will add to your criminal records.

/Later that day, in the middle of the marketplace/

Sasuke: *in a very loud voice* I LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR THAT SOMEONE WILL KILL OUR HOKAGE, UZUMAKI NARUTO, WHO PRACTICALLY LIVES IN THE HOKAGE TOWER, FOURTH FLOOR, THIRD DOOR FROM THE RIGHT, CAN BE ACCESSED FROM THE WINDOW OUTSIDE THROUGH THE ROOF, THE SCHEDULE OF THE NINJA PATROL ARE EVERY 4 HOURS AND HE'S MOSTLY ASLEEP FROM 4AM TO 10AM, HIS ASSISTANT COMES TO THE OFFICE AROUND 8AM AND SO HE'S ALONE AND VULNERABLE FROM 4-8AM

[lightcee]

#unhingedsskaday

What will Sasuke be doing tomorrow if asked by each member of Team 7?

🌸

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, we both have offs tomorrow. What are you doing?

Sasuke: You mean, what are WE doing?

Sasuke: Hopefully each other.

🍥

Naruto: Sasuke! What are you doing tomorrow?

Sasuke: Having my day ruined with what you're about to ask me to do with you.

🖌️

Sai: Sasuke, what are you doing tomorrow?

Sasuke: Let me guess, our wives are going out shopping?

Sai: Yes.

Sasuke: Same thing, then?

Sai: Sure. I think they'll meet up in the usual place at 7AM, let's meet 15mins prior so we can be prepared to follow incognito.

Sasuke: *nods*

🍆

Kakashi: Sasuke, what are you doing tomorrow?

Sasuke: ...

Sasuke: It's either this has something to do with your perveted book or the world is ending, which is it?

Kakashi: *offended*

(it has something to do with icha-icha)

🪵

Yamato: ...

Sasuke: ...

Yamato: ...

Sasuke: ...Yes?

Yamato: Nothing. Forget it.