#unicorn stan

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

For born unicorn! Stan, I wonder if the twins thing was reversed. That Stan was the golden child while Ford was the lesser copy.

Everyone loves unicorn Stan which gives him a massive ego, while Ford is just… his human brother with six-fingers. Yeah, he’s smart, but Stan is a UNICORN. He brings profit to Pines Pawn by merely existing.

Maybe instead of Stan getting kicked out, it’s Ford who runs away. I don’t know, the idea Ford has magic hair is great.

No, you don't understand, ALL the Pines Except Ford are unicorns. Filbrick is a unicorn, Caryn is a unicorn, Shermie and Mabel and Dipper are all unicorns. They live in a unicorn glade and get pampered by satyrs while lounging in magical grass and owning massive amounts of treasure for no reason.

Stan is the golden child because he's a normal unicorn, Ford is the weird human shaped unicorn Caryn had also. The rare, once a century, unicorn in human form.

That all the other foals make fun of, because he has hands and walks on two legs. No one even realizes the finger thing is odd until Ford goes to interact with humans in college, and by then he's 18 and his goal in life is to learn how to socialize with human people. Being surrounded by the most arrogant creatures in the woods helped him realize he Did Not Want To Be Like That and helped him turn him into the socializing Ford.

Stan was still the golden child, but more so that he was a unicorn, and was raised getting too many W's in life. Servants, gold, humans begging him for something he refused to give them, a Dad that didn't grouch at him about school or grades or scamming because all unicorns scam and there is no school (and he just didn't talk to either of his kids at all, giving them new and exciting daddy issues), other unicorns that Stan's too self absorbed to realize they're just humoring him, etc.

No one actually likes him, because he's even more of a jerk, and he still gets kicked out, but its framed as 'look! Here's your own personal glade just for you :) Because you're just. So special.'

Ford also runs away to go to human college, then meets Fiddleford who helps him learn actual manners.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

You mentioned their hair in the unicorn variation of the Horse Stan au.

Maybe instead of their diets being switched, I propose that Ford’s hair, despite still being plain brown, has the unicorn properties.

Stan’s mane is all sparkly and colorful but only as useful as human hair.

Stan is so good at avoiding letting anyone have his hair that he’s in his 30s when he learns that his hair isn’t actually the overwhelming bargaining chip it’s supposed to be.

Some wizard managed to bribe him for it and assumes Stan tricked him on purpose. Resulting shenanigans as Stan tries to get away give him the smallest amount of character development resulting in him being tolerable in small doses.

The council has agreed, Stan does have sparkly rainbow normal hair, and Fords plain brown has the power of unicorns in it. Neither of them know this until well until adulthood, and Stan assumes the 'if you aren't using the hair in a pure way, it won't work' is real and everyone else is just doing it wrong.

And any lessons and character growth he gains is immediately forgotten the moment he gets home and it becomes inconvenient to him.

Also, the rest of the Pines are full unicorns, and Mabel doesn't know the pure of heart thing is a scam either until the summer they get sent to visit their grunkles. Goes on a journey of self discovery, gets scammed by human! C-Beth, and her human girl squad friends (Wendy, candy, grenda) beat her up to get her treasure back and learn a life lesson about it.

Then Stan and the Fords go beat her up some more about it.