At the forefront of my thoughts today: the need for American Muslim institutions. Why would my daughters ever be interested in being part of a Muslim community or anything having to do with Islam when their exposure to it outside of our family -- (i.e. the mosque) treats them like second class citizens? In all aspects of their lives they are equal and treated with respect. As soon as they go to the mosque they are not given those same rights. Their needs are not given priority. What message are we sending to male children when we participate in spaces where women are devalued and hidden? This frustrates me to no end. Do they really believe this will lead to human beings able to have functional relationships full of peace and tranquility? I keep trying to engage with the mosque, but the question pounding in my head is "Why do I invest time and effort in an institution that does not meet the needs of my family or afford most of my family (female) equal opportunities and access?" When you have the first meeting with the president of the mosque and the first thing he wants to renovate is the men's wudu (ablutions) area and the women don't even have an area to do wudu-- It seems like a no brainer: Many mosques will not change. They are so out of touch that we need to make our own spaces. When I brought this up at the Muslim Masculinity in an Age of Feminism conference at Princeton: Shaykh Yahya Rhodus said he was a fan of third spaces-- in fact they have a Cohousing like community in Allentown, PA. In the absence of the funds to purchase a new space, or to start a new mosque, I think this 3rd space idea is the most realistic direction to go in. To create a space where *all* are welcome, where the emphasis is on nourishing the soul that God has given us, to make it feel at peace. Many of us unmosqued folks are missing it and long for it. And long for our children to have that. My heart aches for a common place that emphasizes core values rather than peripheral noise... feel free to share this, if you're feeling similarly. Also, if you happen to have $150,000 lying around so I can build a mosque for everyone. Let me know!
Javed “Hijabman” Memon
