#unnecessaryevilsshow

[hatecraftslab]

Is it your fault?

Yes, absolutely. Finally, somebody recognizes it! Which 'it', exactly? I know, obviously, but my loving fanbase might not be entirely up to speed, so...

[hatecraftslab]

oh. so you're here too. somebody oughtta tie you in a sack and throw you in a river

Get off of my tumbling account, Monika. Go back to kissing the Mayor's rear, or whatever it is you do with your free time. (Please do not clarify what it is you do with your free time.)

[hatecraftslab]

but do it jiggle

What? How does one perform an 'it jiggle'? Do you mean 'does it jiggle?' Was the word 'does,' Anonymoose? And even so, what are you asking? Are you expecting me to read into your sick little mind telepathically to find out what it is you want me to test for jiggliness? You know what? Sure. Against my better judgment, and in the name of science, I shall proceed. Today, we will discover the answer to this ridiculous and stupid question together. First, we must define what it is to "jiggle." I have consulted seventeen papers, my two monsters/housemates/colleagues and a gelatin mold, and the consensus appears to suggest that "jiggling" = the brief deformation of x, in this case It, characterized by periodic, wobbly motion following a minor perturbation. Naturally, I have constructed an apparatus.

Observe: the containment pedestal of...some kind of fine china, reinforced to withstand the greatest of force... and also moderate wobbling. Within it, the Subject, designated It, is suspended. It is, of course, one of the most disgusting sights I have ever beheld, so I will feel no remorse for this experiment as a result. I have subjected It to a series of increasingly aggressive prods: first a gentle nudge, then a firm poke, and finally a slap - after which I had to wash my hands, because It is filthy. The results were disappointing. The substance was strangely resilient. But, for you, I then escalated matters. I introduced vibrations to It. I played bass-heavy music to It. I shouted at It. Though I swore I would never do this for an experiment again, I threw It from the castle window. Still, nothing. Either It possesses an insane rigidity beyond mortal comprehension, or this whole premise was just extremely dumb. There is no oscillation from It. Not even undulation. No behavior can be detected whatsoever that can even be considered jiggle-adjacent. The mass refuses to dance for you, Anonymoose. I don't know what to say. I have seen statues with more enthusiasm than the creature before me. The planets, even, move with more vibrance in the cold heart of space than It. I, Silas von Hatecraft, conclude with all the authority vested in me (by myself): No, it do not jiggle. Please go away.

[hatecraftslab]

In response to YouTube (an OOC post)

As many of you may know, two days ago, YouTube began enforcing a new rule in the United States that will put restrictions on any users under the age of 18; utilizing an AI to determine if someone is underage based on the content one watches. They are also minimizing recommendations for anything they consider "problematic" (i.e guns, swearing, violence). This censorship of content and deliberate breach of many people's privacy is unacceptable. Viewers should not have to give their personal identification to YouTube to continue using the platform uninterrupted in the event of an AI making a mistake, and creators should not have to change their content to please the algorithm. What does this mean for Unnecessary Evils? Nothing, in terms of the actual content. Production will continue, and I will continue making what I want to make. I will not bend to the whim of a corporation that does not care for creativity and expression. However, in protest of these unjust policies, Unnecessary Evils content will temporarily not be uploaded to YouTube. You can access our content on all of our social medias - here, our community Discord, Instagram, we even have a Bluesky account in the works. I hope you understand this decision, and I hope you will stick around to watch what we have in store. New animations in progress, and I will continue to post to this account in-character.

[hatecraftslab]

What if you were a horse?

Are you satisfied?

[hatecraftslab]

They always say 'trans rights are human rights', 'gay rights are human rights', etcetera, etcetera. That's all well and good, go ahead and have your rights, I myself reserve the right to hate everyone equally. But are they monster rights? I have two of them living rent-free in my castle and I need to know there won't be an angry mob if all of a sudden I have to build one of them a husband.

[hatecraftslab]

opinion on giant lasers?

One click of this little button and a laser I've got hooked up by satellite blows up the entirety of Asia. Go ahead and Google the largest continent in the world, by the way. That BIG enough for you?

[hatecraftslab]

GREETINGS!

Dr. Silas von Hatecraft here - mad scientist to some, insane, rambling madman to others...evil genius in truth. I'm not sure what this whole 'Internet' thing is all about, so... be nice, or I'll come up with some way to vaporize your computer. I've got the tools to do so, so don't be a dummkopf and call my bluff. Apparently, they're making this show. 'Unnecessary Evils.' Who's they? I have no idea, but apparently, it seems to be some kind of documentary about my life and how I became the first man (in this part of the country) to CREATE LIFE! Sounds good to me! I'll be at the premiere, why not! Oh, and...since this is an Internet bloggy-posty-thing...Here's a 'selfie.' You Americans and your strange terms.