Unnecessary Evils

In a quiet, isolated island village just off the coast of Germany, the story of a madman and his MONSTERS unfurls..

[hatecraftslab]

ASS

What

[hatecraftslab]

WELL NOT ENTIRELY

BUT DR. HATECRAFT WITH ALL DUE RESPECT THEY WERE TALKING YOUR A█!!!!! THEY WERE ASKING IF YOUR A█ JIGGLES MAN

What are you talking about? And how does one pronounce █?

[hatecraftslab]

oh. so you're here too. somebody oughtta tie you in a sack and throw you in a river

Get off of my tumbling account, Monika. Go back to kissing the Mayor's rear, or whatever it is you do with your free time. (Please do not clarify what it is you do with your free time.)

[hatecraftslab]

SILAS THATS NOT WHAT THAT QUESTION MEANT SILAS!!!!! SILAS YOU MISINTERPRETED IT!!!!

Are you insinuating that this entire experiment, the creation of the unholy non-jiggling beast, was for nothing? You displease me greatly.

[hatecraftslab]

but do it jiggle

What? How does one perform an 'it jiggle'? Do you mean 'does it jiggle?' Was the word 'does,' Anonymoose? And even so, what are you asking? Are you expecting me to read into your sick little mind telepathically to find out what it is you want me to test for jiggliness? You know what? Sure. Against my better judgment, and in the name of science, I shall proceed. Today, we will discover the answer to this ridiculous and stupid question together. First, we must define what it is to "jiggle." I have consulted seventeen papers, my two monsters/housemates/colleagues and a gelatin mold, and the consensus appears to suggest that "jiggling" = the brief deformation of x, in this case It, characterized by periodic, wobbly motion following a minor perturbation. Naturally, I have constructed an apparatus.

Observe: the containment pedestal of...some kind of fine china, reinforced to withstand the greatest of force... and also moderate wobbling. Within it, the Subject, designated It, is suspended. It is, of course, one of the most disgusting sights I have ever beheld, so I will feel no remorse for this experiment as a result. I have subjected It to a series of increasingly aggressive prods: first a gentle nudge, then a firm poke, and finally a slap - after which I had to wash my hands, because It is filthy. The results were disappointing. The substance was strangely resilient. But, for you, I then escalated matters. I introduced vibrations to It. I played bass-heavy music to It. I shouted at It. Though I swore I would never do this for an experiment again, I threw It from the castle window. Still, nothing. Either It possesses an insane rigidity beyond mortal comprehension, or this whole premise was just extremely dumb. There is no oscillation from It. Not even undulation. No behavior can be detected whatsoever that can even be considered jiggle-adjacent. The mass refuses to dance for you, Anonymoose. I don't know what to say. I have seen statues with more enthusiasm than the creature before me. The planets, even, move with more vibrance in the cold heart of space than It. I, Silas von Hatecraft, conclude with all the authority vested in me (by myself): No, it do not jiggle. Please go away.

[hatecraftslab]

Is it your fault?

Yes, absolutely. Finally, somebody recognizes it! Which 'it', exactly? I know, obviously, but my loving fanbase might not be entirely up to speed, so...

[hatecraftslab]

Who are you

[hatecraftslab]

Is it your fault?

Yes, absolutely. Finally, somebody recognizes it! Which 'it', exactly? I know, obviously, but my loving fanbase might not be entirely up to speed, so...

[hatecraftslab]

In response to YouTube (an OOC post)

As many of you may know, two days ago, YouTube began enforcing a new rule in the United States that will put restrictions on any users under the age of 18; utilizing an AI to determine if someone is underage based on the content one watches. They are also minimizing recommendations for anything they consider "problematic" (i.e guns, swearing, violence). This censorship of content and deliberate breach of many people's privacy is unacceptable. Viewers should not have to give their personal identification to YouTube to continue using the platform uninterrupted in the event of an AI making a mistake, and creators should not have to change their content to please the algorithm. What does this mean for Unnecessary Evils? Nothing, in terms of the actual content. Production will continue, and I will continue making what I want to make. I will not bend to the whim of a corporation that does not care for creativity and expression. However, in protest of these unjust policies, Unnecessary Evils content will temporarily not be uploaded to YouTube. You can access our content on all of our social medias - here, our community Discord, Instagram, we even have a Bluesky account in the works. I hope you understand this decision, and I hope you will stick around to watch what we have in store. New animations in progress, and I will continue to post to this account in-character.

[hatecraftslab]

i know what you are

The greatest scientific genius known to man? A powerful mastermind capable of horrible things?! A PLAGUE ON HUMANITY ITSELF?! Why, thank you for noticing! I'm not sure what else you could possibly mean, Anonymoose.

[hatecraftslab]

COMMUNITY DISCORD OPEN TODAY!

Out of character for this post, attached is our server description:

DR. SILAS VON HATECRAFT, local mad scientist and self-proclaimed “misunderstood genius” with a completely legitimate name, has ambitions of one thing and one thing only: WORLD DOMINATION! But since that's more of a long-term situation, he's willing to settle for taking over his hometown of Langweilig.

UNNECESSARY EVILS is a horror-comedy animated series that serves as a loving homage (if not a bit of a parody) of the classic horror era of the 1930s. Particular sources of inspiration are the old Frankenstein films featuring Boris Karloff, the original Mary Shelley book (naturally) and many classic horror films of old.

Our community discord opens TODAY! Join us to stay up-to-date on all announcements, updates and just about everything related to UE!

Check out the UNNECESSARY EVILS community on Discord - hang out with 14 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

[hatecraftslab]

They always say 'trans rights are human rights', 'gay rights are human rights', etcetera, etcetera. That's all well and good, go ahead and have your rights, I myself reserve the right to hate everyone equally. But are they monster rights? I have two of them living rent-free in my castle and I need to know there won't be an angry mob if all of a sudden I have to build one of them a husband.

[hatecraftslab]

Stupid Minister Loses His Voice During Anti-Me Speech

Look at this peon. This fool. A man who thinks he could shut me down in front of the people, and for what? Trying to create life and initiate a master-plan to take over the village, and then inevitably the world? (That's, like..a misdemeanor. That Frankenstein guy did it in all the movies, and he's famous, isn't he?) Well, a few well-placed distractions and he's unable to get a word in! (DON'T TRY TO SWAP HIS VOCAL CORDS FOR YOURS HERE WITHIN THE NEXT TWO DAYS: https://cstng.cc/projects/unnecessary-evils-character-recasting)

[hatecraftslab]

When you get to conquer the world, how would you rule?

Uh. Um. Oh. I didn't think this through. Oh, mein gott. What actually comes next? Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?

[0sbrain]

alternatives for ai to design ocs

hero forge

picrew

the fucking sims 4

your local furry artist

bitmoji

shitty photoshoped collage

DeviantArt bases

zepeto

making edits of your favorite character

searching "dress up game" on the app store

learning how to draw

[hatecraftslab]

Stitching one together from various body parts is a good alternative! You should all try it sometime.

[hatecraftslab]

um hi mr hatecraft.. is that a family name..?

Yes, yes, hello and everything. Is it a family name? You'll never know. Sorry! If you'd like to pester me with anything else, Anonymoose, be my guest.

[hatecraftslab]

...Wait a minute, MR. HATECRAFT?! Wie können Sie es wagen?! I take great offense, Anonymoose! That is DOCTOR Hatecraft to you. Dr. VON Hatecraft, if you're feeling fancy.

[hatecraftslab]

What if you were a horse?

Are you satisfied?

[hatecraftslab]

10 re-bloogs. Fantastic. "Thank you to @idaaliis and everyone who got me to 10 reblogs," says the Tumblr robot. As for my comments? You're bringing me a step closer to world domination, for what that's worth, I suppose.

[hatecraftslab]

um hi mr hatecraft.. is that a family name..?

Yes, yes, hello and everything. Is it a family name? You'll never know. Sorry! If you'd like to pester me with anything else, Anonymoose, be my guest.