To My Old Best Friend.
I’ve been there for you when you were alone, trying to give you companionship—not just as an apology, but because I genuinely care and understand how hard things can be. I wanted to see you well, and I’ve done my best to lift your spirits when you were down. I opened up about my struggles, hoping it might encourage you, or show you that I trust you, and that you could trust me in return. But I never felt that from you.
Instead, you confided in him that you found it annoying when I shared my problems, rather than telling me that directly. These past couple of days, all I hoped for was that, just once, you’d reach out and ask if we could spend time together. But in the end, I found myself alone, forced to deal with the very isolation I tried to help you escape.
I’ve done everything I could to keep this friendship going, but I no longer have the strength to carry it on my own. You seem to want to spend your time with him, and while I respect that and accept it, I can’t keep being the one to always initiate contact. I told you I wanted to step back, not because I wanted to disappear, but out of respect for you. I could have just stopped writing, letting the connection fade on its own, but that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.
If reaching out to me feels like a burden to you, then maybe this isn’t worth holding onto. I can’t keep giving 99% just so you feel fine, while I’m left drained. I love you deeply, but I can’t do this anymore. If things are easier for you with him, then that’s your choice, but I won’t sit here waiting, giving everything until I have nothing left.
I’m not built for that anymore.