#unsettling thoughts

[rosehips2000]

?!?

[briane-dust]

Gonna introduce someone named "the mentor" for Briane`s lore and irl bc if my world was real we all would be in great danger :-: and Briane is also a manifested version of me that has some very very dark and unsettling things :-:

@princesspuresarahk @seamastersworld @glitchham1 @wildcherrypills

[beyondlinesart]

Trying to keep living , even if I'm dead inside

Suicide is an option, but it sounds like too much work. So I keep suffering in hope that something good come from it.

I have my doubts

[whobloidlostingublerland]

I don’t feel safe, not in like my immediate environment, but as a whole, in this world as a human being. & idk if it’s an existential crisis or what, but it’s kind of scary & I want to cry, because I want to be brave & let these feelings pass, but it feels really bad & I don’t like it at all.

[bewilderic]

Upside-down

Where am I?   What is that sound?   What covers my eye?   Why am I upside-down?  

What was that? Did you not hear? I'm hung up like a bat; Into my head flows fear.  

Let me try to feel my way,   Remember why I'm here now-   Is it night outside or is it day?!   I must escape: I must find out how.  

What is that breeze?   Has a door opened nearby?   I shift a little, ill at ease,   Swinging from hooks up high.  

I try to call, to holler and shout,   I try to open my lungs, to scream,   But no sound comes out!   Please let this be a dream.  

I try to move about and flail,   To catch onto a surface.   Someone enjoys seeing me fail- I can feel the joy on their face.

“Are you having fun?”   They ask, through sinister laughter,   “You're the chosen one,   You'll have fun alright. After….”  

After ​what​?! I needed to know But my curiosity died soon   For my eyes could see a harsh glow:   Rough like a lamp, bright like the moon. 

“Why don't you choose,” They laugh as they ask,   “Which tool should I use?   Which will suit this task?”

They laugh once more,   Their villainy shines through; Have I heard it before?   Was this someone I knew?  

I tried to find my voice   And reached for my throat: Slashed! I could make no noise!   Watching, the fiend started to gloat.  

“Oh! I remember now,   Yes, this may sound odd:   Even if you play along, somehow,   Desist! I've cut your vocal chords!”  

They walked away from me; I tried to move my legs, but in vain,   For I looked to where used to be knees.   Only, now, I'd never see my feet again!  

As my eyes started to clear,   I attempted to look around-   Although still filled with fear-   I surveyed the room, upside-down.  

A bright glint up ahead On a long jagged blade; Will they stop when I'm dead?   Dead in this hell they have made?  

They turn, blade in one hand,   A smile glisten upon their teeth.   “Why don't I show you what I planned?   And what I did with your feet?”  

With a flourish of their free hand,   They lifted the lid of a nearby tray;   Laid out neatly, decorated and grand Was a repugnant artistic display.  

O! What a fiend! What a wretch!   Is there no god now, whom I can beg?!   Feeling sickness rise, I tried not to retch;   On the platter were my two severed legs.  

“Your feet tasted quite good,”   They said with a devilish smile,   “Not everyone can make it as food,   Nothing tasted this good in a while!”  

They then grabbed my palms,   To stop me from singing,   “I'd like to take your arms!” They said and began singing.  

It was then that it dawned; It was then I realised!   This monster and I shared no bond!   I helped with their car- a trap they devised.  

As if reading my mind,   They said to me, grinning,   “It was your kindness, you'll find,   That brought you here: you were a-sinning!  

“Your desire to help a stranger- Who could well have been your doom- That is, you see, the real, true danger!   Not anything you'll see in my room!”  

Without giving me time To process this thought,   They began their next crime:   A new wave of agony that brought!  

The only reprieve- Dare I use that word- Was that it was all rather brief   And my screams were unheard.  

  I sobbed quietly in pain, For not a sound could be raised,   They grabbed the other hand, sawing again; They bowed, accepting imaginary praise.  

They washed the severed hands   And wrapped around the stumps   Some cloths secured with bands; I had by my side two bleeding lumps.  

“I think I'm done for today,   But before I leave, look around!” I looked around in every way,   And saw others, hung upside-down.  

“You may think me a ghoul,   A villain, an unfeeling man;   But you'd do this, too, with the right tools!   I'm doing this to you, just because I can!”    

The tears came freely now,   For they, only them, were still mine; That emotion alone they did allow; This sorrow was somehow fine.  

I thought, for a moment then,   Of the billions of animals killed this way: Pigs, cows, goats, fish, hens- Strung up and murdered, millions each day!  

I thought they'd leave me so,   Alone in this dungeon in the city.   They turned to look at me, eyes aglow,   And for a moment, I thought I saw pity.  

I thought they would free me,   And let me into the light,   (As ridiculous as that may seem to be!) I thought I'd see the stars at night!  

I thought all these things   As they walked back to me,   But they stabbed me! How it stings!   Where did it come from? I couldn't see.  

They left me alone, bleeding to death,   And all I heard was a blood-dripping sound.   I wept futile tears with my last breath:   That's how I died, in this hell, upside-down.  

[starquack-blog]

the term “friendship” has been weighing heavily on me recently

like, it should be a good thing. it should be a wonderful thing. in many cases, it is.

yet it’s so fucking daunting. it’s haunting me in more ways than one.

just. i don’t know.

i really don’t anymore

[malikai85]

I should stop writing down how I feel.

It kind of makes me uncomfortable thinking that when I die, someone is going to go through my phone and notes and realize how fucking insane I am.

[luciblackanima]

If I am ever convicted of a heinous crime...

the narrator of a television show covering the mind behind the crime will surely take excerpts from this blog and convince the public that it had been a long time coming... 

Personally, I think I will be innocent... probably taking the fall for my Dad or my best friend - but my alt lit will be convincing enough to save them from prison.