#unsuccessfultextpost

[ayoungmanstoodinhisbedroomand]

I want to text a dude I've seen every weekend the past few weeks again this weekend but like I don't wanna seem like I'm attached to him or anything i just don't have any other booty calls rn

[ayoungmanstoodinhisbedroomand]

Romantic date idea:

Help me clean my apartment

[ayoungmanstoodinhisbedroomand]

I finally put a real theme on my blog and I’ve been scrolling through my posts for three days and it never stops being hilarious, anyways the point was, now you guys can look at my blog without wanting to remove your eyeballs and flush them down the toilet

[3quius-zahhak]

The lobster is the scorpion of the sea

[3quius-zahhak]

In a surprising twist, the young protagonist who is looking for an item that is crucial to the storyline asks their mother where it is. The mother responds "I haven't seen it sweetie but you probably lost it somewhere in that disaster area of a room you have" and then the rest of the story is dedicated to the heroic protagonist cleaning their room before realizing they left it on the fucking coffee table

[3quius-zahhak]

I wish I lived in the pokemon universe because then I could go live in the safari zone with the wild kangaskhan instead of doing homework and no one would think twice about it

[3quius-zahhak]

I always make a textpost with the intent to make it true but upon my third or fourth read of it I usually end up swapping out some details for more relatable ones in my quest for a successful textpost

[3quius-zahhak]

Everything I’ve posted lately has gotten so few notes and there’s just been overall so little activity that my blogs all feel like deserted wastelands completely devoid of life