Title: Smile Rating: PG WC: 3170 Pairing: Mingi x AFAB Reader TW: Mild angst; referenced alcohol and pot
What had begun as a casual gathering of old friends had somehow spiraled into a near perfect recreation of an Alpha Tau Zeta blowout from your university days, and you’d absolutely be there for it if you weren’t dealing with a constant stream of irritating phone calls. Perched on the arm of a plush sofa, you glanced around the room and smiled softly to yourself, the familiar faces giving you a sense of joy and nostalgia in spite of the irritation radiating out from your phone. You were about to join Honjoong, Seonghwa, and a couple of girls from your sorority days in a game of beer pong when it buzzed yet again and you sighed.
You stood, setting your drink on the nearby coffee table, before heading outside to field another call from the ex-boyfriend from hell.
“What is it now?” you snapped, walking down the wooden porch stairs towards the concrete sidewalk.
“So sorry to interrupt your rager,” he sneered on the other end, and not for the first time, you wondered how you could have convinced yourself that you loved him. “I’m going through the kitchen and I’m not seeing the cutlery I just bought…”
Of course, he had been different in those days. Whether it was an act or he had actually changed that drastically, you couldn’t be sure. All you knew now was that you wanted him out of your home as soon as possible.
This time, the argument took a good ten minutes of you pacing back and forth on the sidewalk until you were finally able to hang up, his precious cutlery secured. With a sigh, you headed back towards the door, but certain another call was just a moment away, you elected to sit on the porch steps rather than go back inside.
It was supposed to be a fun night. You hadn’t seen all of the ATZ boys all together in years; you had been a member of their sister sorority during university, Alpha Tau Nu, and spent a lot of time hanging around the ATZ house and the group that had been pledging there the same time you were doing the same at ATN. The hazing, the need to grow up so quickly after leaving home for the first time… it cemented a bond between the group of you that had never broken. Even after graduation, when everyone was going their separate ways, you kept in touch.
Somewhere along the line, the boys had collaborated on a tech startup. That much didn’t surprise you – they were all so close knit and creative, it was clear that they’d one day do something amazing together. It just went public a month before to great acclaim and phenomenal wealth. In celebration, Hongjoong, the de facto captain of the team, had rented out a house for a month of late summer fun and invited all of their old friends. You had been honored to be included in that number but your frustration had been growing more and more as your participation in the festivities remained limited with the constant stream of phone calls you were receiving.
You sighed and glared at the phone in your hand. Leave it to your ass of an ex to ruin it all.
“You okay?” a deep voice asked, startling you out of your thoughts and making you jump. A large hand gave your shoulder a squeeze, the voice adding a quiet, “Sorry.”
You glanced up at him and couldn’t help but smile. “That’s okay, Mingi,” you told him. “It’s on me, I just wasn’t paying attention.”
His long legs loped down the stairs to sit down next to you. “I noticed,” he replied with a small smile of his own, and your traitor heart began to beat a little faster at his words.
Song Mingi had noticed you. It was something you would have killed for when you were just a couple of clueless university kids.
He had been so skinny back then, drowning in t-shirts and sweats that were at least two sizes too large, wearing glasses far too big for his face and an awful bowl-cut. But even then, all he had to do was smile at you and you were a goner.
He’d hated his smile then, off-center front tooth driving him to distraction no matter how many times you told him he had such a sweet and charming grin. Mingi was always so unsure of himself and you found yourself working overtime to make him understand what a catch he was. Pity that he never turned those charms on you.
Pity you had been too timid to make a move yourself.
The years had been kind to him, putting on some muscle and finding his sense of style after a few experiments with his hair and clothing, though the truth was you would have gladly taken him even if he was still that thin reedy man too shy to meet your eye. The years hadn’t managed to extinguish that flame, just let it burn brighter in your heart.
It hadn’t been long until others started to notice him. Deep-set, dark hooded eyes, straight nose, strong jawline, those beautifully plush lips… the way he drifted from silly to serious, all paired with a tall and muscular frame. The man was gorgeous, whether he believed it or not. He always had been to you.
Of course, your chance was long since past. You were friends now, after all. Just friends. You kept up with one another over social media, texted and chatted regularly even though you didn’t have a chance to see one another often. But you were close, frustratingly so at times.
You moved on with your life, dated here and there, almost married someone once and moved in with the last ex, disaster though it turned out to be. You had long ago settled into the fact that Mingi would remain a constant presence in your life but just out of reach.
You sighed. “Is it that obvious?” you asked, frowning again at the phone in your hand.
Mingin nodded. “I thought you were done with that… guy,” he replied, clearly wanting to use a different word but amending it at the last minute.
“I’m trying to be,” you told him, leaning against him and reveling just a little when his strong arm slipped around you. “It’s just been a mess. We broke up four months ago and I can’t get him out of my apartment.”
“Does he need a little convincing?” Mingi asked, and you chuckled at the thought. Your ex had always hated your friendship with Mingi and the other frat boys from your university days even though it was largely long distance; he’d have an aneurysm if any of them showed up in person, especially Mingi.
The ex may have been an ass, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew you well enough to pick up on the emotions hiding just beneath the surface when you mentioned your old friend.
“I’d love to see that, but no, I don’t think it’d help the situation,” you admitted. “I love my place but when he moved in, I put him on the lease. He’s been dragging his feet on moving out until it needed to be renewed. My roommate moved out when he moved in and he knows I can’t afford it on my own. He’s trying to swoop in and push me out.”
Mingi raised his eyebrows. “That dick is trying to steal your apartment?” he asked, incredulous.
You sighed and closed your eyes. “I should have known better,” you relented. “He insisted on being on the lease, like he was such a great guy, guaranteeing that he’d cover his half of the rent. He was just planning ahead for when we inevitably split. You know how hard it is to get a decent place in my neighborhood.”
“I remember how excited you were when you found it,” Mingi agreed, and you smiled at the memory. He had been the first person you called, even before your potential roommate. You had raved about the exposed brick, the floor to ceiling windows in the living area and the beautiful view… It was perfect. Expensive, but perfect.
And you knew you couldn’t keep it on your current salary, but you didn’t want the ex to get it either. Vindictive, maybe, but he shouldn’t get a parting gift for cheating on you with his secretary. How cliche can he even be?
“I know I can’t keep it,” you told him. “But I don’t want him to have it either. Isn’t that terrible?”
Mingi scoffed. “Why should he get it?” he responded. “You’re the one who went through every listing agent in the city to find it.”
“Exactly!” you agreed, and then slumped further against him. “But it’s still out of my price range. And my old roommate got married last year so there’s no hope there.”
Mingi was quiet for a moment, his hand rubbing absent circles on your shoulder. You thought perhaps he had simply given up in trying to cheer you up, and you could understand that much. The situation was pretty hopeless, after all.
“What if you found a new roommate?” he offered softly.
You snorted. “Eun was someone I knew and trusted. At this point I’d have to take out an ad for someone new and probably end up with some psycho who’d chop me up into little bits in the bathtub. No one I know is looking for a new place these days.”
“I am,” Mingi offered, and it seemed almost shy, the way he said it. You tilted your head to look up at him in surprise.
“You have a place, don’t you?” you asked, frowning. The idea of sharing your living space with Mingi was… daunting at best. Being that close to him? Sharing meals? Evenings in front of the television? Early mornings over the breakfast table?
You shivered. Living with Mingi would be like… like living with Mingi. Wonderful and heartbreaking all at once.
“I do,” Mingi relented, and offered you a sheepish smile. “But it’s not that great. And Yunho got a place of his own when the company went public so now it’s just me.”
“You can afford to keep your place,” you told him. You knew that it had to be true; Mingi, his best friend Yunho, all of the frat boys who had worked together to start their company, had made a lot of money. From what you could tell, even if they never lifted a finger for the rest of their days, they’d be set for life. He didn’t need a roommate.
“I can,” Mingi agreed, nodding. “Doesn’t mean I want to. It’s too quiet now. Even with the television on or music playing, it’s just… empty. I don’t think I was meant to live alone. I don’t like it.”
You laughed, leaning your head back onto his shoulder and closing your eyes. “Maybe not,” you agreed. “But you could do something more productive about it, Mingi. Go find yourself a girl. She’ll keep you company. Then it won’t be so quiet.”
Mingi inhaled a shaky breath, so much so that you could have sworn you felt him tremble against you for just a moment. You thought perhaps he had a run of bad luck in love as of late and was keeping it to himself, or was just too embarrassed to admit that he’d been picking up. He was never one to speak on his romantic exploits, you realized, as you thought about it. There had been a girl here and there that he’d mentioned in passing but you were never certain if they were serious or not. He just didn’t like to bring it up.
“Maybe I already found someone,” he said, slowly and evenly, as though he were trying to control his voice as he spoke. You opened your eyes and looked up at his profile, watching a slow blush bloom in his cheeks and crawl down towards his chest. “Maybe I found her a long time ago and I’ve just been too much of a coward to do anything about it.”
“Mingi?” you asked, voice soft. You weren’t able to keep the tremble out of your tone, too unsure of what he was saying, too uncertain if the meaning you swear you felt in your heart was real.
“Do you remember that first semester, when you failed a big calculus exam?” he asked, and turned his gaze to face yours. His cheeks were still rosy but there was a determined set to his jaw and something like hope in his eyes.
You nodded. Of course, you remembered. It was your first big exam at university and you absolutely bombed. You began second-guessing everything from your enrollment to your proposed future, all hanging on the balance of one bad test.
And then Mingi came by your dorm.
“Seonghwa was in your class and he mentioned how upset you were leaving, so I ran by to check on you,” Mingi went on, a misty sort of reminiscence in your voice. “We’d only known each other a few weeks but I… I was worried. And I found you, crying.”
“I was afraid I’d made a mistake even trying to go to university,” you said with a slow nod. “My father didn’t think I was cut out for it, I thought maybe he was right.”
“And I asked you if there was anything I could do to help, and do you remember what you told me?” Mingi went on.
You couldn’t help but smile as you nodded. “I just asked you for a smile. And then I felt a little better,” you admitted.
“Just a smile,” Mingi told you, shaking his head even as he smiled at you now. “And I hated the way I looked back then, you know that? Skinny and gawky, face covered in acne, and my smile… I really hated it.”
Your brows knit in concern for this younger version of Mingi, the one who had meant so much to you even then. The idea he could have any qualms with his appearance… Well, at that age, you supposed everyone did, but in your eyes he was always something special. It hurt that you were never able to make him see it too.
“But it was all you asked for,” Mingi went on. “And you just grinned and wiped away your tears and we went to the cafeteria for dinner and it was like nothing bad at all happened. This one thing I really disliked about myself was all it took to make you feel a little better and I thought… I thought, hey, maybe it’s not so bad, if someone as wonderful as you could like it.”
You whispered his name, unable to find any other words. It felt as though your heart was breaking open inside of your chest. For so long you had loved him from a distance, tried to forget what you’d been feeling and move on with your life, certain he saw you only as a friend and nothing more. To know now that he had felt the same for all this time was stunning but still so sad: so much time wasted.
He reached his free hand to cup your cheek and you closed your eyes at the touch, reveling in the gentle caress of his fingertips.
“I know you don’t… you could never…” he stumbled over his words. “I only wanted you to know, so that you’d know that whatever you needed, if I could help, I would. I don’t need anything in return. Just… just being near you is enough. Okay?”
He said your name, soft and plaintive. “Please tell me it’s okay.”
In that moment, you didn’t have the words. You just had to show him.
It was such a small distance to bridge the gap between you, tilting your face just right and leaning forward to simply brush your lips across his. It would leave the ball in his court; Mingi could either respond or pull away. You prayed you had made the right decision.
The arm that had been around your shoulders slid to your waist and pulled you forward, angling you fully towards him and bringing you in closer. There was a soft rumble in his chest, sounding something like approval and an echo of your name as Mingi began to return your kiss in earnest.
You’d be lying to say you hadn’t thought about it before, what it would be like to finally kiss Mingi. He was such a dichotomy, two personalities existing in the same beautiful body: the shy and timid Mingi, and the bold and brash Mingi. You were never certain who would come out to play, should it ever come to this.
You should have known that he would find a way to surprise you, even after all these years. The first presses of his lips in return were soft and tentative, but quickly became more confident. He mumbled your name against your lips as though he couldn’t believe it was happening, as though he couldn’t believe it was you, even as you moved closer, pressing yourself against the strong planes of his chest, desperate for as much closeness as you could manage.
Your world was shifting; years upon years of hidden feelings and secret fantasies were becoming real and tangible and somehow allowed.
“Is this real?” you whispered, pulling back from his kiss just a moment long enough to speak it.
“It can be, if you want it to be,” Mingi replied and you smiled, taking his face in your hands as you leaned back in, desperate to feel his lips moving against yours once again.
Neither of you knew how far it would have gone if not for the bang of the screen down flying open and slamming shut coupled with a surprised “Oh!” hadn’t startled you both out of your reverie. You jumped apart on instinct, each glancing up to the top of the stairs where Honjoong stood with a joint in one hand a lighter in the other, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline.
“Aw, come on, really?” he said, frowning. “We gave up on that bet <i>years</i>.”
You blinked. “Bet?” you asked.
Hongjoong shrugged and lit his joint, taking a long hit before answering in a croaking voice, “Yeah, you and Mingi. Figured you’d get there someday, just thought it would be a lot sooner. Wasted a lot of time if you ask me”
Mingi swore at him in annoyance, but you couldn’t help but smile, reaching out to fold your hand into his. He turned towards you, the irritation falling from his features and a small smile forming on his kiss-swollen lips.
“Guess it’s a good thing we’re moving pretty fast, then,” you mused, winking at Mingi before glancing back to Honjoong with a grin. “We’re moving in together.”
FIN
First time writing for this fandom so pardon my mistakes! ~ yesterday
