In Nates last year after a natemare episode, Caddy knocked him out and carried him up to Ayus dorm where both Kit and Ayu are. After a while it's clear its just a passed out Nate now (he feels warmer but not, like, unpleasant?) and he wakes up with his face buried into Ayu, Kit curled by his back from how they were rubbing his shoulder/petting his hair and Caddy in the corner with Salvage in his lap and a shark plushie under his arm. There's a couple of shark plushies on the bed. He feels safe.
nate being buried in friends and shark plushies is the visual i most definitely needed today omg
he would probably at first be confused as to how he got there, but after a while it becomes obvious - either he puts one and one together or caddy just straight up tells him he was acting like a dick again - and in the end nate is just. overwhelmed with emotions cause like. he sees how much these kids care and try to help him, not only trying to stop him from causing chaos but also to calm him down after an episode and he has never had it on this level before tbh and he just. probably cries. which would be one of the first/only times really any of them would witness him crying tbh
hi so. this isnt what i was exactly supposed to do today but also something with nate and his fear of dark and nightmares needed to be done so uuuuuuuh
you can count a very small part at the end of this for pining tho lol, but thats not the point
anyways hi @shinrijeu i haVE A THINGGGG
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He had honestly lost the count on how many times he had been glancing at his phone by now to check the clock. As if he needed to know how many hours of sleep he had left before the first class in the morning started, as he wasn’t going to go there anyways.
Nate rolled on his back, hands slipping under his head as he rested on his bed, staring up at the ceiling above him. Last time he had checked the clock it had been getting close to four in the morning, but Nate had no honest idea at this point how much time had passed since then. The darkness in the dorm room warped his sense of time terribly, it could have been anything from two minutes to two hours, and he honestly wasn’t feeling very fine about it.
If someone would have asked what was keeping him awake right now, Nate would have blamed the silence. Rooming by himself didn’t make things any easier for him, but all of this and so much more brought in the feeling that Nate was so not used to feeling.
He was lonely.
The darkness didn’t make it any easier. It made the walls feel like they were falling on him, the silence around him constantly reminding him that he was in this all alone. Nate glanced to the side, across the room, barely making out the outline of his guitar sitting on it’s stand in the darkness. He could play, with the chance of waking up the students in the neighboring rooms. He just wasn’t in the mood to get yelled at tonight.
Eyes slowly dragging back to the ceiling, he let out something similar to a yawn. Well, maybe it was more of a sigh, Nate couldn’t even tell anymore if he was tired or not. Sure everything as feeling exhausting and the darkness wanted to lull him into a false sense of needing the rest, but Nate wasn’t sure if he should give into it. It felt like the right and the wrong answer both at the same time.
It was dark. Honestly the room was also really cold, but crawling under the blankets didn’t feel like an option. The more he would wrap them around himself, the lonelier everything would feel. He would be warm, but at the same time it would all be nothing but a betrayal on his senses, making him think he was safe when in fact, the situation was the exact opposite.
He could hear it crawling in the dark.
Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, making all the sounds appear around him. Making them louder, give them personality, shape them into shadows surrounding him all around. Shadows that felt like they could fall over him at any given moment, grab him by the arms and legs and drag him off the bed and into the dark corner of the room where the real monsters lurked.
Nate could feel himself tensing up at the thought, swallowing on instinct. Even the sound he made was deafening, it didn’t sound like a swallow, it was more like someone dropping a stone in the water, it was too loud and made him regret doing it.
They would hear him. Nate was sure of it.
He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. It was difficult, almost as if something heavy was pressing against his chest. The silence was but a hum around him. A very loud, ear piercing hum. That kept going on, and on, and on, and on, drowning every other sound underneath it.
Nate was sure he was screaming at this point, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t move, he only felt the shadows crawling up his skin, pressing even tighter against his chest until there was no more air left in his lungs to leave.
He inhaled sharply, deeply, his eyes forcing themselves to open no matter how much he didn’t want to do it. For a hot second he was able to see the ceiling somewhere above him, before the shadows ran it over, burying the last shades of white he was able to see in the dim lighting of the room out of his view.
He felt a cold breeze swipe along his jaw, tensing it up as Nate’s head was forcefully turned, his eyes moving away from the ceiling, immediately spotting the grin glaring back at him.
Oh no.
Nate’s widening eyes stared back at the dark eyes looking back at him, from underneath the dark, messy fringe that he could recognize anywhere. He had seen it lurking behind him in the shadows so many times, the visual was in his head every time he closed his eyes. It was always there, waiting for him to be vulnerable, when he didn’t expect it, when he couldn’t do anything about it.
Taking his breath away with the simple stab right to the chest with the knife made of the shadows.
“You can’t run away.”
He couldn’t hear his own scream over the screeching laughter as everything around him was swallowed down by the darkness.
*********
His eyes shot open, Nate desperately trying to catch his breath. It took him a moment and a couple of blinks to realize he was staring right up at the sunlit ceiling of a familiar dorm room, the panic slowly dying down in him as he allowed himself to glance around the room.
After such a dream, anyone would be taken aback by finding out they weren’t in their own room, but not Nate. Honestly, he knew these surroundings better than he did his own room, and he found it very calming to be honest. Not so much the fact that he was currently alone in the said room, but at the same time he knew what kind of a stickler for being in class Ayu was, so it wasn’t as alarming for him as it might have been for someone unaware.
Ayu had apparently let him sleep in. Nate slowly sat up on the bed, grabbing the pillow from behind him and pressed his face against it, inhaling slowly. Ayu’s scent was calming to him, and that’s what he needed right now.
What he most definitely didn’t need though, was to tell Ayu that the nightmares were back again.
I have a need for. Cupid boyfriends upbeatdreams trying to gently encourage timid and oblivious Kit and Hana together. Starts off with d&d, and then doing homework projects with Hana so they can subtly bring the topic up.
okay first of all? cupid boyfriends?? is so cute for these nerds tho aaaaa???bUT!
➭ k so i wanna imagine that prior to the first steps, nate has befriended mai cause through that he eventually hears that hana might be actually interested in kit more than she admits. (and nate has been seeing hints here and there, cause hes not oblivious to that kind of stuff weirdly enough, he can put two and two together to see how kit and hana act around each other and yeah)
➭ so they curate a plan, nate, ayu and mai - they are gonna hold a special d&d session. mai is put in charge of dm’ing it tbh, cause the boys are just. kinda worried that shes going to otherwise play it very straight forward and expose the plan before its been executed, so they give her the task of making up the one shot campaign where kit and hana are most definitely gonna need to join forces and form stronger bonds and hopefully at least start seeing that hey there might be something here?
➭ in the end they kinda succeed with that, at least the campaign seems to go well enough and kit and hana have fun especially together with their characters, communicate well a lot together throughout the whole thing, and it seems like. they grew a bit closer together through slaying some orcs or whatever? hell yeah
➭ and yeah it. kinda works? like kit and hana are starting to spend a little bit more time together - they talk more during lunch and breaks, when hana is over in their dorm to work on something for school with mads its not so awkward anymore, but everyone can still see that. while hana is just kinda timid with things, kit is just oblivious as fuck at its honestly irritating nate to hell and back and he cant stop talking about it to ayu cause he just wanTS SOMETHING TO HAPPEN HE CANT TAKE THIS GDI (”swear, nathan”)
➭ but they both also know how timid and awkward hana is, so they dont. really know how to approach it. or at least nate doesnt and they probably arent in the best of terms with hana considering nates reputation and everything that happened during october and such, so the ball is passed to ayu to try to oh so very subtly to bring up the topic with her. while nate probably is trying to deal with kit (honestly nate would just. stay in the recording booth the whole day trying to craft the perfect song to send to kit to tell them to confess their obvious feelings to hana and in the end he just send them a clip of him basically screaming “DO IT IM LOSING MY SHIT OVER THIS THING”. kit.. actually kinda gets the hint, or at least now they are aware that ‘shit have i been giving hana the Eyes again ohhh noooo’)
➭ so ayu to the rescue on the other end of things! i wanna imagine ayu gives hana some tutoring at times, if shes fallen behind due to being sick or something similar, so they are in good terms and hana wont suspect anything when she gets to another session with ayu since, as he put it, “this homework was kinda difficult, do you want me to help you with it” and hana probably saw mai struggling with it and while shes not dumb, hana would. just like to make sure, you know? so they take ayu up for the offer and bam, theres the perfect situation for ayu to try to pry into her life a little bit to find out what she really thinks about kit cause jfc everyone else can see this mutual interest and ayu has to deal with nate losing his mind over this and he just. needs to direct this train wreck on the right track finally
➭ and ayu just. very casually brings stuff up in between studying, like asks her about friends and this and that - and then finally brings up kit and how hana seems to be hanging out with them more and she just. kinda cracks? like ‘uuuh yeah i like them i mEAN I LIKE THEM NO NOT LIKE THAT I MEAN’ and ayu just. kinda deals with it as calmly as possible, puts a hand over her panicking hand and gives hana a smile and just goes ‘dont worry, i know’ and she just deals with it. maybe with a bit of a defeat cause oh no the secret is out but shes also. kinda relieved to be able to say it out loud to someone else than just mai? and yeah she was kinda worried that she has been very obvious about it but since kit doesnt seem to return anything back to her hana just wasnt sure and.. yeah. she just kinda takes it as its nice to know that shes not imagining it and someone else seems to be seeing it too, you know?
➭ so on both ends they just each encourage the one to just talk to the other? like hana needs to get closer to kit cause theres nothing to lose especially since theyve all seen (except hana apparently) the kind of dreamy eyes kit has been throwing into her direction, and kit needs to get closer to her cause its so obvious with the way hana stutters and blushes when they are around and talking to her and it just. they both need that convincing from their sources, but little by little these two are just kinda starting to realize that oh there might actually be something here? they are both hesitant but with the encouragement of the cupid boys eventually they get there tho
➭ i wanna say. its kit who cracks first with a confession tho? like, hana has been working hard an origami flower bouquet to give to kit since shes noticed that theyve been kinda shut off and having a few bad days recently, so she wanted to surprise them.. and when kit opens the dorm door and sees hana standing there with a bouquet of origami flowers and a little card that wishes them to feel better soon, kit just kinda pulls her into a hug, whispers ‘i love you’ and just. presses a quick little kiss on her lips. and thats where we start ~
*rolls o v e r* I want angst for UpbeatDreams: Especially just unsure Nate trying to cope with his feelings and trying to seek on what to do with just out right saying it? He would jus try to hint to his friends ( like mads or kit ) about the possibility of liking Ayu but he always back out and just plays it off as nothing when he’s questioned about it directly? Plus things probably get so chaotic when Natemare strikes, like the soft boy doesn’t have a lot on his plate already-
oh poor soft bois mmmmmwhy does asagao!nate come with so much angst he was supposed to be a pure happy boi lol
➭ nate is. actually really good at figuring out his feelings for people, like pretty early on he realizes that he wants to befriend ayu, then be closer to him, and eventually hes like heck yeah there are real feelings here! nate just. has hard time putting those into words and telling them to other people? not only just like the target of his admiration, but everyone. if someone asks if he likes someone, hes just gonna shrug and not admit them to anyone else than to himself
➭ so while he thinks talking to his friends about this and wanting to date ayu and take him out and smooch the violin boys precious little face, nate just. cant get anything out of his mouth? he starts with like ‘hey can we talk’ like somewhat serious actually and when he is sitting down with whoever he wants to talk about this nate just pulls a joke or two out and changes to subject (”hey i actually just wanted to ask about homework” “do you have any recent fave songs im looking for new stuff to cover” etc.). and people do notice that.. hes not being super genuine about what he wants to talk about, but since people know nate mostly as a very open person, they dont want to push the issue cause if they see its something he doesnt want to talk about, they are afraid pushing it will make his open personality die down and shut him off tbh
➭ only when its natemare it gets honestly out there. but with natemare’s case, since people dont take him super seriously with what he does and what he says (cause he throws around a lot of stuff and says things that people know not to be true and he jokes about everything terribly and yeah), it just kinda gets lost in translation. its taken as a cruel joke when nate(mare) goes on a ramble in ayu’s face how much he likes them, and that just. honestly doesnt end too well tbh (if we wanna combine this with the bffnate canon, this happens either during the halloween party, so kit will hear about this later but isnt present when it goes down)
➭ so ayu and nate have somewhat of a fallout at this point. ayu is hurt by the things said to him cause even tho it was basically a confession, the way it was framed it sounded like a condescending joke, hes just. nope ayu is just done with nate. who still does their best to get everything in order between them, like he doesnt really know what he did that hurt ayu so badly (probably multiple mutual friends are really yelling at him at the point cause nate what the hell) and he just. wants to make things right. and hes trying to also fix things between him and kit at the moment and its all such a mess and ugh
➭ and after the feather incident with kit, nate finally gets the courage together to actually make the decision to talk to ayu and try to fully figure it out. cause if what he did hurt kit like this, my god what could have this done to the boy he Liked? so nate finds one of those days where ayu has secluded himself to the recording booth with his violin, and nate tracks down this violin boy so its just the two of them in the studio and. hes going to take this chance to talk to ayu, nate is so determined to do this, like usually he gives in if people dont wanna do something with him, but my god he just NEEDS to talk with ayu no matter what
➭ so its. kinda awkward. ayu doesnt wanna be there with the boy who hurt their feelings like that, nate wants to know whats wrong.. and ultimately after a somewhat heated conversation ayu lets it out cause hes just exhausted and wants nate to leave him alone cause he cant take it and just. blurts out everything that natemare told him about nate feelings for him that halloween night and ayu is trying to keep himself together while nate just quietly stares at him like. i said that? cause thats. all true tho im sorry it had to come up like that but its true
➭ and like ayu is getting anxious but he allows nate to hug him cause the sincere concern over this crying boy and the apologetic eyes nate have are genuine and ayu can sense that and nate just. stands there with him in the booth holding him close and petting his hair like. im sorry i did all that. it didnt mean to let it out like that, ive been wanting to tell you but not this way nope this isnt how i wanted to make it happen and im so sorry it came out so wrong but. i do like you. forgive me please?
➭ ayu is kinda hesitant but nate is seriously sorry and wants to better himself so. he is forgiven. to which nate responds with a happy smile, another quick hug to ayu and a kiss on the cheek, promising to leave ayu to play in peace again but they should have breakfast tomorrow together and nate leaves him there all confused and blushing cause was thAT A KISS AND A DATE INVITE???
(➭ the following morning they have breakfast together and nate. sneakily finds ways to hold ayu’s hand whenever he can, during breakfast and walking to class and it just. kinda builds up from there tbh. slow and steady and they like never exactly talk about it being official or anything like that, it just kinda happens little by little over time aaaaaa)
Can I have hcs on the nate/natemare healing process please? <3
UM YES OFC CAUSE THIS IS SO PRECIOUS THO??
➭ official the healing process starts already after his first october in asagao, cause its the first time nate is realistically facing the consequences of his/natemares actions, so its a learning process for him, and honestly, nate takes it to the heart cause he knows all this is fucked up and he just wants to better himself with it after seeing how much all he did hurt others around him, and especially the people he held the closest to him
➭ HE LEARNS. TO TALK TO PEOPLE. ABOUT HIS PROBLEMS. which is a thing hes always been afraid of cause with natemare, nobody ever knew what really was wrong with him or they took it like he was making shit up, so nate just very effectively shut down about the thing.. but now hes learning to talk! cause now he has a boyfriend so ayu ofc needs to know about these things cause nate is. so fucking afraid of hurting him even more than he already did. and everything he did to kit has caused caddy to be on uproar so they need to know to settle those friendships again and.. yeah. it gets much easier over time for nate to open up, not only about natemare but really everything thats bothering him. it starts with the fear of the dark that he can admit to having to some degree, and eventually its up to natemare. or at least what he knows about the thing
➭ and like. the second october in asagao is honestly already much better for him? cause nate is kept in a comfortable environment instead of being thrown into a new school yet again as another transfer that doesnt fit in and eventually gets picked on, and at least some people are aware about this shitty thing thats happening to him, so he has someone having his back with it - whether its the kids like ayu and/or kit who have picked up some hints on what makes natemare happen (late night, lots of people, nate getting super excited about something, etc.) so they can direct him much easier out of those situations, or caddy who has the right to just straight up deck him the fuck out if things escalate enough to make natemare happen, or make it seem like its getting there. ..among other people and other things i’d imagine that help steer him clear from trouble, but those are definitely the main ones
➭ it was mentioned before, but after nate graduates and hes free from authority figures and school grounds, natemare just. gets much, MUCH easier for him to control? maybe he pops up occasionally if nate is just having real bad days, but for the most part he comes up much less and nate learns over time to control him better, to avoid situations where he might take a hold of him, and so forth
➭ related to that; while nate might never get fully rid of his fear of darkness, over time, especially with the help of ayu, he learns how to make things better for himself. as things with natemare calm down notably after the first halloween at asagao, nate can actually. sleep on most nights? he still needs someone to be there for the most part or at least have some light, but he SLEEPS much more and much more peacefully than before. nate learns how to make himself calm and relaxed before going to bed so he can fall asleep easier and not have restless sleep. he gets comfortable talking about his fear of the dark. he knows how to battle it, and while he never fully gets rid of lights in his bedroom, they turn dimmer and theres less of them over time, as he gets more comfortable with the thought of sleeping in the dark
i still need to hecking write about it but, concept just, reversebeats au- but its 4am but. both natemare and ayu’s dark side (who i think would likely be called mu as that means something along the lines of vision, nothingness, generally negative meanings in Japanese, and it f i t s) are just a whole chaotic duo (and it maybe is funny bc natemare just annoys the crap about mu like constantly) I am considering their dynamic and its just I n e e d. So when October rolls around its double trouble
oKAY IM SO HERE FOR THIS
how i vision this duo going down tho, so. okay. natemare is natemare, we all know that - hes kinda shitty, physically destructive and just all around asshole. thats still true to this au
and then you got mu. which btw i love the name. and with meanings like that hes gonna be the depressing one of the duo. like where natemare strikes people with making fun of them, mu is just. there to make it all So Depressing. like he'll do the same stuff as natemare, like targeting people with specific stuff in hopes of breaking them, but he does it via bringing reality and sadness to the table, like "oh you wanna be thing x when you grow up? man its a lot of work i dont think youre up for it.." or "i dont know, i dont think anyone would care if you werent the top of the class" like. he targets peoples psyche a lot more to get under their skin (of course the usual limits apply, same as with natemare, so theres certain topics he doesnt touch that would seriously mess a person up, but hes here just to bum everyone out and make everyone sad about stuff tbh)
coughedfeathers replied to your post: *rolls o v e r* I want angst for UpbeatDreams:...
Can I throw my hat into the proverbial ring and suggest that Ayu’s able to get *something* out of him about natemare? Not much, but that he gets amnesia during the times he’s more visually… Not himself during October?? And that he’s not really himself
Bc Ayu would have been there during the d&d session where natemare kicked in, as well as Mads’s party probably? So he kinda owes Ayu an explanation at this point, and Kit’s too drained to demand one.
im gonna take this ball and run with it watCH ME
@coughedfeathers @shinrijeu have some upbeatdreams yo <3
It was getting closer to Christmas, slowly but steadily. November was over, they had turned to December, and life at the academy was finally steadying itself back on tracks with everything that had gone down the past three months.
And honestly, it was making Ayu very nervous.
Everything had been going smoothly. Honestly, if you asked Ayu, almost too smoothly. Things with Nate had calmed down and he seemed to be behaving like himself again since the two of them had made peace and started to spend more time together again, Nate making sure to fit in a little shows of affection here and there as if he thought Ayu wouldn’t notice.
Holding hands.
Leaving him notes on homework assignments.
Good morning and good night texts.
Sending Ayu playlists of stuff he knew he liked.
Little forehead kisses and kisses planted in his hair as if Nate thought Ayu wouldn’t realize what they meant.
But something about that was still making him uneasy, and maybe it was very unfortunate, but Ayu was able to actually put his finger on it this time too. After the disaster with him that had been October, and having to help Kit through November, Nate had gone back to being himself, and it was almost too weird.
Like the calm before the storm.
What worried him the most, was that Christmas was approaching, and Kit was lighting up again and getting very excited about the holiday. They were constantly rambling at Ayu about the gifts they had gotten for people, asking him what would be appropriate for someone, showing the cute wrapping paper and decorations they had gotten, and so forth. Occasionally Nate would be around when Ayu got messages from Kit and he would glance over Ayu’s shoulder at the cute things Kit had gotten, commenting on everything he thought looked nice.
And that’s what was worrying Ayu about all of this.
Before the October nightmare, Nate had been acting all fine and dandy. Sure he possessed some qualities that Ayu wasn’t extreme fond of, like skipping class and breaking the school rules in general, but that was still normal to him.
October he was occasionally just very different – at Mads’ birthday party he had started to raise havoc, Ayu remembered him making a mess and trying to steal the presents among other things, sending Kit into a whirl of anxiety as this behavior was never explained and it nearly ruined everything.
They had a small D&D session in the dorm at one point, and Nate had been invited – he absolutely threw the game and basically ruined the game for everyone for the night, forcing them to cut it short really early as Kit couldn’t handle him being that way and making it terrible for everyone else.
And then… Well, the Halloween party. Where Nate had straight up put Ayu on the spot and made fun of him and embarrassed him – thankfully not in public in front of others, but it was still terrible enough that some people saw Ayu leave the party crying – with this supposed love confession.
Among other incidents that Ayu hadn’t been present for, but had heard from various classmates and other friends since they had happened.
After October he calmed down again. Nate made peace with Kit, and eventually with Ayu as well. He seemed to return to normal, with no real explanation what was going on with him. Every time Ayu asked about all this, Nate didn’t remember anything. He claimed amnesia. The story never changed, there was never any added details, so Ayu believed him.
But it didn’t make the feeling that someone was still wrong go away.
And with Christmas fast approaching, Ayu was just honestly worried that Nate was going to flip his lid again for no reason and make things difficult for everyone again.
Especially for Kit. And Ayu wasn’t going to let that happen.
He was honestly nervous about texting Nate and asking to meet him at the recording studio. Ayu didn’t specify that he wanted to talk, usually when he invited Nate over it was to listen to him play, and he was kind of hoping that Nate would take it as that kind of an invitation again and wouldn’t ask questions. Thankfully the text he got back was just Nate saying he was on his way – it only freaking Ayu out a little as he was suddenly having to prepare his words much faster than he originally thought.
Ayu was sitting in the studio, sketching the stray kittens into his sketchbook when Nate walked in. The boy was beaming at the sight of Ayu, but raised a brow as he noticed the lack of the violin case he was used to see him carry around with him.
“I thought you were going to play?”
Ayu shook his head as he put the sketchpad aside, watching as Nate took a seat across the table from him. One thing that Ayu was grateful about Nate, was how good he was reading the air around people, so it was obvious even without words that something was up. Something they really needed to talk about.
“I’m… Worried.”
It was just better to get it out straight away, to be honest. Nate’s brows furrowed a little, but he nodded, remaining silent.
“Christmas is coming.”
“We don’t have to get gifts.”
“That’s not it.”
While Ayu was glad to hear this response too, it wasn’t the conversation topic he was after. Besides, he had already gotten Nate a gift, so that wrapped that part up.
“I don’t want you to ruin this for Kit too.”
Nate looked back at him over the table, clearly confused. Ayu sighed, sounding somewhat impatient.
“I don’t want what happened at October to happen again, Nathan.”
The raven-haired boy seemed to perk up at the mention of his whole name, much to Ayu’s satisfaction, as it was a clear mark that at least now he was fully paying attention.
“They need this to go well, they need the nice things. So please… Whatever happened in October, please don’t repeat that again.”
“I can promise you it’s not happening. I promise.”
Could he really believe that though, that was the question in Ayu’s mind. Sure Nate seemed sincere about that, looking him straight into the eye and saying those words, making a promise, it had to be worth of at least something, right?
…Right?
“Ayu, you can trust me. I promise. It’s behind me for now.”
…For now?
“Nathan –”
“I went to see the Nurse a little while ago.”
Ayu went silent. This was a topic they hadn’t talked about, but he knew that Kit had been trying to get Nate to see the Nurse about his amnesia problems, like Nate had tried to get them to go because of their feather coughing issues. Ayu didn’t really think Nate was complying to any of that though, as every time it had come up, he had just laughed it off.
But apparently he was actually really trying to better himself here?
“And?”
“While he didn’t really know what was going on, he said it might have something to do with the Halloween time, as the amnesia spells seem to only happen in October.”
So… This wasn’t the first time this had happened? The way Nate formed his sentences were making Ayu think of it, but he couldn’t confirm anything as this was the first time they had really talked about the issue after Nate’s initial apology about a month ago.
“He suspected full moons at first, but I can confirm I’m not a werewolf though as I do remember the full moon from last week, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
Ayu knew he was joking but nodded with a completely serious face anyways.
“He had my medical records from my previous schools, and, well… Everything shows more nurse visits and odd behavior, amnesia and exhaustion around the time of October, and never else.”
Nate brushed a hand through his hair as he leaned back on his chair, letting out a sigh.
“Every single October, for every single school. And nobody knows why, and I can’t remember any of that.”
He shrugged, looking back at Ayu who was still trying to process the information, even though there wasn’t really much info to take in here, other than what they all already knew – that Nate didn’t remember anything.
“The Nurse suggested it was due to stress or me pushing myself too hard or something similar, but I feel the same around the year and do the same things, so it doesn’t make sense. He suggested further examinations later, especially if it is happening again, but… I’m feeling fine now. Haven’t forgotten a day since November begun again. Just same as before October came around.”
It was true though, Ayu could confirm that. Since then Nate had gotten back to his old self, the honestly somewhat terrifying aura he had been carrying with him through October was gone, he looked normal again, acted normal, felt normal…
And yet Ayu still couldn’t help but to worry that this was going to happen again just when Kit was picking up being bright and bubbly again.
“I don’t do it on purpose.”
“I believe that.”
Because Nate wouldn’t. And Ayu knew that.
Nate nodded a little.
“You just… Have to trust me on this one, okay? I promise it’s not going to happen. It’s done now.”
“Until next October?”
Nate inhaled deeply, shrugging.
“I hope not, but… Maybe. It seems to be the pattern.”
It was Ayu’s turn to nod, before he leaned over the table towards Nate a little.
“Just promise me that whatever it is that’s happening with you, it’s not coming back any time soon. And if it does return for October, well… We kick it together, okay?”
When Natemare does strike in his first October at Asagao, he obvs doesn't know what caused Kit to leave home. But he does know they have a difficult relationship with thier dad. So when it comes to an actual targeted attack on Kit, like he does with Mads's writing, Ayu's crush? What do you think he goes for. That's what brings up the most feathers. He doesn't even find out about this verbal attack until the middle of November when Caddy's still judging him hardcore. Because Kit wont bring it up
k so. ive been thinking about this for a while and lets see if i have an answer for this now
➭ k so nate oblivious the first time around doesnt know any of the deets about why kit is attending asagao, so theres nothing too deep there for natemare to use. so it would just start as generally ruining things that are fun for kit (as he does for everyone tbh) and just generally making a mess and making fun of everyone
➭ as natemare is a thing that gets progressively out of hand the further october gets, over time he would. get more personal with kit tho? like even if natemare messes shit up around kit a lot, they are. willing to give nate some level of the benefit of the doubt and be like ‘okay maybe we can still be friends even tho you did pull this shit on me tho’. which gives natemare the window he needs to just continuously poke more and more fun about kit tbh
➭ i guess it starts with the d&d thing that he ends up ruining and ultimately makes fun of them for playing the game (cause its also a thing that nate himself enjoys, and its been established that natemare loves to ruin things nate also likes to yeah, he would do that). it evolves into kit’s art stuff, as nate is also involved there so it also gets called out like ‘ey you like this stuff? its weird and lbr your art is weird’ and so forth to try to hit that nerve of insecurity tbh
➭ it culminates on the third time tho when. natemare just straight up calls kit out on basically ‘running away from home’ to attend the school across the world cause they couldnt take the heat at home, with whatever details nate has been clued on by the time this takes place. like natemare goes all out on what nate knows about kit and their hard relationship with their family, which is like. the final nail to the coffin
➭ and yeah this ends up with their fallout, eventually its caddy who threatens to kick nates ass if he does shit like this again and lets him know what he has done (as we all know, nate doesnt remember and nobody gives him any deets on why kit is so mad at him), which causes him to finally confront kit straight up about this whole thing on the bonfire night - which was all talked about in here; http://nightmareantagonist.tumblr.com/post/183242162275/some-angst-in-your-bffnate-october-is-supposed-to
➭ also after this i. want to imagine that nate opens up a little bit about natemare tho cause this is the first time someone has confronted him so straight about this whole deal (usually by the time he was supposed to face the consequences of his october actions, he was already out the school things happened into so he never had to face them so straight forward tbh), and hes first hand seeing how much its hurting people. he doesnt go all out on admitting whats happening or why things are happening, but he implies a whole lot that he knows things and that this is a problem and yeah➭ i wanna think he opens up to ayu first, for obvious reasons, gluing him in whats happening and about this problem. again, no deets are really shared as nate is. still kinda clueless apart from knowing that this problem exists and what it causes, but he lets ayu in on the secret. followed by opening up about it to kit cause he just. needs these two at least to know whats happening as they are probably the ones that natemare hurt the most, and nate just really wants to prevent this from happening again in the following octobers
